A LIE IS EASIER THAN THE TRUTH

I looked back in my dating life and noticed a pattern with the guys I dated. They always told the truth. Wow, who knew? But I just did not recognize it at first. It took me having to examine some things to figure it out. You know when you get to that point in trying to figure out why you have had such shitty luck with men. So, you start debating about whether you should start dating women. Then you depressingly realize you like men too much for that. Even though you cannot stand them half the time. But as I looked back at my relationships, I was always told the truth. In some shape, form, or fashion. They always reveal at some point who they really were. I just was not paying attention. For example, you know those conversations when your lying-in bed or sitting on the couch you all are doing your own thing and then out of the blue, they say the most random thing. You tell yourself they do not know what their saying or they do not mean that “YES THEY DO”. Every word of it. Most of the time, we brush it off or deflect to avoid from having an argument. Sometimes, you might even question them after they say it and they say, oh nothing never mind, or what are you talking about I did not say anything. That means you heard me, I said what I said, and I hope you got every word of it, Lol. I had this one relationship where we would tell each other our perfect mate or someone we could see ourselves dating. We would name at least 5 people that would match that description and why. Let’s just say stuff got real. So, I said mine and the reasons why. All the guys I named, and their reasons would make the ‘Perfect Man’. After I said what I said it was all these questions and the side eye looks. To me that was hilarious. Then it was his turn and he named them and then came the reason. I got quiet put my head down and look and said Umm, sweetie I do not fit any of those descriptions. See at least he could relate to some of my picks. Then I told him, they are all on your list because of looks and nothing of importance. Your reasons are because they are fine and rich. Ok, I am fat and broke. So, why are you with me again. His answer was because your beautiful and smart. I said aww, you are so sweet (Deflecting) I know your probably saying: what does that have to do with what your partner is trying to say? Honestly, I felt like that was something so little and it did not mean anything either. But I guess it can be the littlest things. That can spill over into something big. So, later came the let us work out together and start eating right. I was like ok I finally got someone to look out for me. That only lasted so long on his end of course. Then, there was the go out for this promotion to make more money. I said it would have me at crazy hours and I have my family to think about. He would come with the, you need spend more time doing things for yourself. So, I asked are you happy in this relationship? He said, yes why? I said because it seems like you are trying to change me into what you want me to be. He responded and said no I just want us to live a long life together and be successful. I said I understand that. But when you say us that mean you and me. But it seems like I am the only one putting in the work for us. So, again what is the real reason we are together? Because I love you. Yeah, right later I found out the real reason was that it was convenient. Let us just say that relationship did not work out. I spent years telling myself what I wanted his words and actions to mean versus what he really was trying to say. So, everyone listens to your partner, “Every word”. They might be telling you something particularly important. This might save a lot of time and heartache in the end.