Still Standing: A Late-Night Battle With My Breaking Point

September 9, 2025 — 1:25 AM

OK… Girl, you're not going crazy at all. The proof was right there, front and center. What the hell is wrong with you? Trying to go out like the couple that died in Marion Junction? Are you really trying to die for some stupid shit that has been checked and accounted for—when the phone was first charged up? It hasn't been used in over a year! Why are you taking this shit?

Hello, Jomill. Wake up and smell the roses, bitch. It feels like this weak-ass D.A. is trying everything to put something on your ass for no reason—and he's been trying for a couple of years now. Between the texting people, the sneaking people in the house, the so-called “lies”… how could he even do that if he can’t keep up with himself? It’s crazy—your story is like a probation officer thinking you’re doing drugs, you get tested, and come back negative. The D.A. also tries to set you up so that it can feel right, but ends up forgetting its own plan.

Like bitch, how the fuck are you still alive? Stress should’ve killed you while you were pregnant with your first. BUT YET HERE YOU ARE. STILL.

Fight, bitch.

I know you're not the Incredible Hulk or anybody like that. You get real close to actually hitting him, but you freeze. Why do you do that? It’s kinda crazy. You’re more like your grandma Annie… she got with your grandpa, had eight kids, got beat on every day, and still was there for him during his bedridden days.

Babygirl, that is not the way to go. In this economy, it’s kill or get killed. Right now you're still stuck in flight mode. Why? What happened to the fight part? Living with someone who is deceitful, hateful, manipulative, and hungry for your sorrow and loneliness.

Girl, you need HELP. I couldn’t take what you’re going through with that mess. It’s embarrassing. Someone who doesn’t even care that you have a bad case of anxiety and are trying to raise two little ones with what feels like no help. I just really think you don’t want to be alone.

You see all the flaws and still decide to put up with it? I understand you feel hopeless right now but you can’t show him that. Every day he will do everything in his power to bring you down, make you have cold sweats and a very bad stomachache. But honey, that’s what they do—prey on the vulnerable.

Believe it or not, you have a story to tell, and one day someone will hear your soft little voice. You are the most intelligent, attractive, smart, and loving female he ever put his hands on. That’s why he is making it hard for you, trying to stoop you down to his level. But he’s wrong. That’s not you.

Time to embrace YOURSELF.

And even if no one ever understands what I’ve been through, I will. I’m learning that my peace is worth more than his chaos, and my happiness is worth more than staying to prove I can survive it. I may not feel strong every day, but every time I choose myself, even in the smallest ways, I’m winning. One day, I’ll look back at this version of me and thank her for holding on long enough to become free.