Still Single

Still Single

The screen showed a young man smiling at the camera with perfectly white teeth. His clean shaven face coupled with his strong jawline made his sparkling smile stand out even more. But what stood out the most were his soft golden brown eyes that seemed to gently whisper, “That’s right, I’m the one you’re looking for,” to any woman who came across his profile.

“Yeah right,” I thought looking through his other photos, one was him posing in front of a red Charger with a vanity plate that read, “MUSL3 B01.” I rolled my eyes and swiped left. I knew better than to trust a guy who takes selfies with his car. Chances are it wasn’t even his and it wouldn’t surprise me if he regularly called his mom a bitch.

He reminded me of all my exes, of all my previous failed romantic endeavors since college. I could already see how dating him would play out. Flowers on the first date that smelled like every produce section of a grocery store, vapid small talk that only stroked his ego, and at the end of it all, the bold assumption that he somehow wooed me enough for physical intimacy.

That nightmare came to a halt after I heard the trill of a notification from the dating app. A match! He seemed like a decent guy. His name was Derrick. According to the pictures on his profile, he owned a dog, wore more than just cargo shorts and a graphic tee, and best of all, he looked like the kind of guy that takes hygiene seriously.

Hey their cutie <3 i’m surprised a girl like yourself is even on this app

Sorry...texting isn't my strong point...

Hi! :)

We can't be good at everything lol

It’s been awhile since I’ve been in the dating world and this is what’s popular nowadays so I figured I’d give it a shot!

Well aren’t I lucky to have to have run into you then? Virtually speaking that is lol

Haha! Why don’t we meet up IRL?

Skip the formalities of online messaging and all

You’re rather straightforward aren’t you? Sure, i’d love to!

:D

Your profile says you like animals. You wanna go to that cat cafe just outside city limits?

I follow their insta and all the cats there are soooo cute!

I have something more fun in mind. More romantic. There’s this steak house downtown i’ve been meaning to go to but never had the chance to take a lovely lady like yourself to. It used to be an old firehouse station so the owner named it Ladder 53 Steakhouse. Whaddya say? i’ll pay of course ;)

I stared at the message trying to write a response. What was wrong with petting a bunch of cats and kittens? But free food is free food.

A firehouse gone steak house you say? How fancy!

I’d love to join you for dinner :)

How does tomorrow at 7 sound?

It’s a date!

I don't often get dressed up, but when I do, I make sure to have fun with it. The red ruched dress I bought a while back just before my last breakup would be the perfect candidate for tomorrow night. Who doesn't like prancing around in the one outfit they've been meaning to wear but just haven't found the right occasion for?

***

As soon as I walked into the restaurant I knew I made the right choice for my outfit. Derrick clearly had great taste in fine dining. The exposed brick, red and white color theme, and occasional fire-fighter motif were a nice homage to the building’s past. The lighting was low and with soft jazz playing in the background I was ready for romance.

I was seated quickly and taken to one of the booths tucked away in a corner, per my request. Shortly after, I received my obligatory glass of water and basket of bread and butter. From there, I waited. And waited. And waited...Five minutes turned to ten, then turned to fifteen, then turned to twenty.

During that time the waiter had come to my table with a bottle of wine presented as if it were a prize on some game show. His white button up shirt and black bow-tie only added to that mental image.

“Ma’am, I hope you don’t mind me interrupting but I couldn’t help but notice the absence of your date. Perhaps your spirits need lifting?”

“Yes please,” I said with a little too much relief. I made note of his naked left ring finger.

“Of course,” he said, pouring the bottle of Merlot into my glass with a practiced hand. “Are you in need of anything else ma’am?” His voice perfectly matched the ambiance of his workplace and dripped with years of customer service. I started to wonder what he actually sounded like when outside of work.

I cupped the wine glass lifting it to my lips; its stem comfortably snug between my ring and middle fingers and took a sip. I swirled my glass and eyed the wine legs thinking about all the ‘what if’s’ of the evening. What if he does eventually show up? What if he forgot? What if he meant to tell me and just didn’t press send? What if he changed his mind? What if he’s with someone else? A disappointed sigh escaped from me before I answered.

“Someone to connect to. Is that on tonight’s menu à la carte?” I asked before taking another sip.

He chuckled and shook his head. “When was the last time you were connected with yourself ma’am?”

“This afternoon while getting ready for this disaster of a date,” I answered with a sarcastic smirk.

“Did you really get all dolled up for yourself ma’am? Or did you intend to make an impression?”

“Who says it can’t be both?” I retorted, taking another sip.

“Touché,” he said with a smile that MUSL3 B01’s to shame, except his was the complete opposite. It was genuine. “He’s missing out, that’s for sure.”

I set my glass down, placed my elbows on the table, rested my chin atop my hands, and looked up at his sympathetic gaze.

“When does your shift end?”

He chuckled again and shook his head. “I’m flattered ma’am but I can assure you, you aren’t my type.

“What is your type then?”

“Probably the same as yours, a gentleman.”

I arched my eyebrows and cleared my throat. “Well, thank you for taking care of me for the evening. Can I get the check please?”

“Don’t worry about it ma’am. I got you covered.”

***

Looking back, I couldn’t remember who I was outside of my relationships. Each time I carefully crafted myself to be the kind of partner they wanted. I was everything, wifey material, just the right amount of sexy for date nights on the weekends, an accessory, a trophy to have won. I was never who I wanted to be, who I needed to be. I was never myself all those years despite who I was with. What happened? Who am I now?

The next day my phone buzzed endlessly with messages from Derrick. All his apologies, though sweet, only sounded like excuses. After all, I was already seeing someone else. Well, more than one. A dozen cats. I had a cat café to get to.

It was then when a fat tabby hopped onto my lap, her chin on my knee purring away as happy as any spoiled house cat could be that I finally got to meet me, Riley. She’s a young woman, tender but direct, falls in love easily, and maybe a little obsessed with cats. She recently realized what she wanted and what she needed were not at all the same. It’s been a hard lesson for her and yes, she’s still single.