Six Socially Conditioned Behaviors You Don’t Actually Need to Follow

Human beings are sociable animals. You naturally desire to be accepted by the people in your life.

That is why you follow the rules and expectations of the culture in which you live. As a result, without giving it much consideration, you think, act, and behave in particular ways that are considered normal or necessary.

The same may be said for major life decisions as well as everyday habits and actions.

This is neither excellent nor bad. Society's cohesion is aided by social conditioning, which keeps everything operating smoothly. If you blindly follow the habits of others, though, your life may end up being shaped for you rather than by you.

So keep these six socially conditioned behaviours in mind when you make your own decisions about what's best for you.

Too Much Alcohol Consumption

You have a totally different connection with alcohol than most people whether you don't drink or only take a glass of wine with dinner every now and then.

Alcohol is an important part of many people's lives. Drinks with brunch for happy hour, drinks to celebrate, drinks to drown your sorrows... you get the idea.

There's simply one major issue. Alcohol is essentially a toxin that lowers blood supply to the brain, impairs memory, and shrinks the size of your brain over time. Plus, when you drink too much, you tend to do stupid things that you will regret the next morning.

Drinking, on the other hand, is entirely acceptable and even promoted.

Is it, however, truly surprising?

Alcohol is idolised in Western culture, and drinking has grown so engrained in daily life that it's easy to forget how detrimental it is.

I'm not telling you whether or not you should drink. When it comes to drinking, only you can tell when you've had too much to drink.

Some people can consume a few of drinks a day without it affecting their sleep, work, or overall health. Then there are those, like me, who have trouble sleeping after only one glass of alcohol.

Here's what I'm getting at:

Many settings force you to drink, and you're the odd one out if you refuse. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? Something to consider.

Getting Hitched

You get a solid job, meet your love, marry, and start a family.

Right?

Sure, why not? If that's what you're looking for.

The truth is that marriage isn't for everyone, and it isn't always required.

That's fine as well.

Even still, many couples feel compelled to marry because it is pushed upon them from all sides. It needs to be leading somewhere if you're in a relationship.

And if you're single, everyone expects that finding a mate should be your first goal.

Getting married is one of the most important decisions you will ever make. And making such a significant life commitment because you "feel like it's time" or "it's the next step" is a recipe for disappointment.

Many people simply do not want to marry when it comes down to it. Having children is the same way. It's fine to desire other things in life.

Meetings and Distractions abound

It's like getting a flat tyre five minutes into a road trip when you're trying to accomplish your best work while being constantly distracted. Your motivation and desire to keep going fades, and getting back on track takes a long time.

The same may be said with never-ending Zoom calls.

Every day, I had 4 to 6 hours of Zoom calls when I worked in tech. Colleagues would Slack me requesting to plan meetings even when I carved out time for heavy work.

Here's the problem with that:

Distractions and long meetings suffocate creativity and impair focus. When you just have 45 minutes till your next meeting, how are you going to redirect your thoughts and produce quality work?

Interruptions, according to studies, alter your work cycles and mental states, making it much more difficult to achieve or maintain a state of flow.

When you're denied the capacity to achieve a "flow state," which leads to the feeling of accomplishing significant and rewarding work, your general productivity and motivation will suffer.

While some firms are becoming more aware of the issue, continuous meetings are still the norm (especially with remote employment).

Because each job and company are unique, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. However, starting with avoiding distractions, carving out time for intense work, and respecting other people's time when they do the same is a good place to start.

Attending a Four-Year College

Rachael Wittern studied clinical psychology in college and received her Ph.D.

What's the end result? She worked as a psychologist for $94,000 a year and owed $300,000 in college loans at the age of 33.

Is it worthwhile? Debatable. (She insists that it wasn't.)

Of course, if you (or your child) want to be a doctor or lawyer, you'll have to go through the traditional educational system.

Going to a four-year college, on the other hand, is no longer the apparent decision. Even more so when you consider that the average student borrower takes 20 years to repay their student loan debt.

College should prepare you for success, not two decades of financial hardship. Simply put, graduating with tens of thousands of dollars in student debt is neither typical nor desirable.

Furthermore, a university education is no longer required. Many folks in IT I've encountered have gone to a 3-month boot camp to learn programming and earned more money than those with a Bachelor's degree. Nobody cares if you went to college or not if you're a great programmer.

Traditional schooling is problematic, because it is not suitable for everyone. The story comes to a close.

Trying to Get More Stuff

One of the most significant contrasts between California and Spain is that people in California (particularly in Silicon Valley) are hardwired to want more.

More money is needed. A larger home. A nicer vehicle.

People in Spain do not feel compelled to outdo themselves year after year. Many people are content with what they have because it is sufficient.

Their apartment or house is adequate in size. Their automobile is adequate. Their salary is adequate.

This went against my instincts as an American. I was conditioned to believe that your self-worth and value are tied to your salary after living in California for 25 years.

But here's the thing:

You don't have to believe any of it.

Sure, you'll need a bigger home now that you're expecting a child. You may also be a car enthusiast. Then go ahead and do it. That's fantastic.

However, many people aspire to these things because their neighbour recently purchased a Porsche or their brother recently purchased a five-bedroom house in the suburbs.

Alternatively, you pursue a promotion because it's what everyone else is doing, even if you don't want the additional responsibilities.

Here's what you should know:

You are not required to want any of it. You can be content with what you have now.

Attempting to Avoid Aging

The other day, I passed past an establishment called "The Anti Aging Shop."

Why do we need to halt the ageing process? Who determined that becoming older was a terrible thing?

This notion is so widespread in society that you are confronted with it every day. Commercials for anti-wrinkle creams and surgeries that promise to make you seem 15 years younger abound.

There is no such thing as a fountain of youth. And we should stop acting like it's not the case.

I'm not opposed to facelifts or botox injections. By all means, indulge if it makes you feel good about yourself.

In Western culture, however, ageing is associated with being unattractive and less important in society. Both men and women are socialised to seek out young and contribute to a multibillion-dollar industry.

I understand. Aging is a difficult process. But what makes it a LOT worse is believing that ageing is a bad thing. It's the most natural thing in the world, and rather than attempting to escape time, we should be grateful for the opportunity to exist at all.

Isn't that the kind of attitude we should encourage?

Last Thoughts

You acquire a new perspective on your own life when you take a step back and try to see your society objectively.

You begin to observe that many people adopt a herd mentality, only to discover years later that the life they constructed was not the one they desired.

This is why, by the time they reach middle age, many people appear to be sleepwalking through life. They have a wife, children, a home, and a job. Isn't that everything that characterises a "successful" life?

It's simpler to mentally check out and go about your day than to realise that you're living a life that someone else has planned for you.

However, once you realise how much your actions and behaviours are moulded for you, you can begin to exert more influence over your choices.

And sometimes all it takes to get back on track is a sense of control over your own life.