Since We Were Young

I wore my red gumboots to kindergarten today. Mum came to bring my lunch to Aunt Millie's at 7 because she had worked at the hospital all night and I splashed her accidentally when I ran to hug her good morning. Aunt Millie waved at her while she was putting her coat on and said she was going to drive me to kindy so Mum could come if she wanted to say goodbye to me and Mum said yes and kissed my head.

I played iSpy with my mum on the way to kindergarten while Aunt Millie drove us along the big road. The rain was heavy. I counted twenty red cars and two sparrows. Last week I'd told you my favourite colour was red and you said your favourite colour was the orange-brown on sparrow backs when the morning sunbeams shone on them. Today I looked for them specially.

We spotted you standing with your dad two streets away from kindergarten, waiting for the traffic lights. I waved to you but I don't think you could see me because you didn't wave back. There was a lot of rain when I was waving to you anyway, and Aunt Millie drove past you fast because the light on that street doesn't stay green very long. I waved at you again when Aunt Millie's car was curving past you but she hit a big puddle close to you and your dad turned you away so the water wouldn't splash into your eyes.

I got to kindergarten first and put my bag in my locker. Mum had packed me a jelly sandwich and cherry tomatoes and berry leather today because it was Friday and I always get red things on Friday. You laughed at me sometimes but you still wanted to share.

You came in with your dad at 8 and I stood up because it was tiring to wait for you just sitting by the lockers even though Mum was with me. Emily Stewart was faster than me and ran to you first and I had to wait while you smiled at her and quietly said hello. You were shy because you liked her and I saw your face go red when you saw me waiting to talk to you. I knew you liked her already because last Friday you spent the whole day listening to her talk about her pet lizards, even though you said you didn't, after, when I was waiting for Aunt Millie and you were waiting for your dad. Normally you always wanted a bit of my jelly sandwiches on Friday but last week you blushed when Emily gave you half of her box of celery, even though you hated celery when your dad packed it with mustard dip.

Today you waved at me after Emily skipped away and dragged your dad over to say hello to me. He smiled at me and shook my hand and said that you talked a lot about me at home. My mum smiled as well and shook your hand and said that you were even more handsome in person than I told her about at home. You poked your tongue out at me and I kicked you with my right gumboot because you weren't that handsome, just handsome enough for Emily Stewart. Your dad laughed a bit after I kicked you and said that you had your mum's face. My mum said that your mum must be really proud of you then and your dad didn't say anything. You whispered that your mum left last year and that you didn’t know why. I said my mum didn’t know where my dad was. I looked at you and you walked away to ask Terria Hill if you could borrow her pop-up book.

I saw your dad smiling at my mum and told him she was beautiful. He said he could see it. He asked if I knew that I had her eyes and I said yes because I was really proud of my eyes. Your dad shook my hand and asked if he could bring you over after kindergarten today. I said yes and my mum put her hand on my hair. They were talking about countries they went to when I went to look for you and my mum looked happy when she waved goodbye to me, the kind of happy she was when she made salmon wraps for us on Saturday afternoons.

I was happy too when kindergarten ended and I got my bag out of my locker to wait for our parents. You were talking to Emily Stewart again and I picked a book to read. There was a picture of a sparrow in it and I put my finger on the orange feathers. Emily Stewart got picked up and you came over to tell me her favourite pet lizard died. I said you could write her a card for Monday.

I didn’t notice at first when my mum walked in but you waved politely and she asked if you had a good day. Your dad came in after her and told me he saw a lot of puddles that needed jumping in. I said there was a big puddle outside our apartment building and I could jump there and my mum laughed okay, as long as I didn’t splash anyone.

My mum drove with the news station on and we sat in the back. Your dad talked a bit about what the news lady said and my mum agreed, she couldn’t believe so many kids in our city never had chickenpox before. I just told you about the new books I had at home because this was your first time coming over. The big puddle outside our building was there but I didn’t want to jump in it now so I just looked at my face in the water. I liked my eyes. My mum called for me to catch up and your dad waited for me and held the front door while I was running up the stairs.

My mum went to the kitchen and put out a plate of muffins for you and me to share. They were blueberry muffins from the bakery on our street and smelled like mornings in summer. My mum poured two glasses of something red too and gave one to your dad. It looked real slippery and funny in the glass and I asked her if we could have some too. She said we could when we were older. I asked what it was and she said it was a kind of juice but I heard your dad whisper to her that it was a nice merlow. I wrote it out to show you. I always beat you on spelling tests. You shook your head and said it was spelled with a t and your dad drank it when he was sad. I looked at him and said he wasn’t sad now.

We had fish risotto for dinner and I played you the new cartoon channel. Your dad laughed a lot when Mushroom Boy saved Finny Flin from Mr. Twinklewhiskers and I saw my mum smile at him. I took the dishes to the kitchen and your dad asked if he could wash them. The rain stopped when I came back to watch Mushroom Boy with you and my mum got up and asked your dad if he wanted to see the view on the balcony. He smiled and picked up the merlot juice they had and followed her outside. I asked if I could show you my books and my mum said of course, I should show you the one about birds in the countryside.

It was almost sunset and the gold light was making the TV sparkle when you hit my arm and pointed at the balcony. My mum was dancing with your dad. They weren't wearing shoes and they went slowly. My mum had her head on your dad's shoulder and he said something that made her laugh out loud.

I looked at you and giggled. Maybe you'll dance with Emily Stewart like that one day. Maybe you'll marry her. Your cheeks went red again when I said that but you didn't look away fast this time, just asked if I would say something about you at the wedding if you did marry her.

I said yes but only if I could wear red pants and you nodded with your eyes wide, and then you said that you would wear an orange-brown suit and Emily could wear a dark blue dress because that was her favourite colour. I said yes, maybe you could ask Emily to marry you next Monday.

You stopped talking suddenly then and asked what would happen if Emily said no. You looked sad. I laughed at you and said you could just ask her again on Tuesday. You looked even sadder and asked what if Emily never said yes. I thought about it and told you that you could always marry someone else, maybe Zara. You giggled and said ew, you could never marry a teacher's daughter. I threw a biscuit at your head and said it didn't matter even if you never married anyone until you were old because I would be your friend still. You said really and I said yes. You were quiet again and then asked if I would still be your friend if I got to marry Zeb Doust and I said yes and shut up because nobody was meant to know how much I liked him yet.

The sun went all the way down and the sky started turning black and my mum came back inside with your dad's arm around her back. They looked at us and smiled and my mum hugged me. Your dad kissed my hand and said that you had to go because it was your bedtime soon. I waited for you to put your gumboots on and shook your hand because we had been practising in case we ever had to make a business deal.

Your dad laughed and said we looked just like him and we giggled. My mum closed the door behind you and asked me if I was still hungry. I said no and asked her what she had talked to your dad about. She smiled really big and just said what a gentleman. I asked her when you could come back again and she said maybe next week we could all go to the Italian restaurant close to school. I said yes and she hugged me and asked if I liked your dad. I said yes and she asked why. I said it would be cool to have a dad like that and she giggled and said goodnight. She looked really beautiful when she kissed me goodnight and I wondered if your mum looked like that before she left you. I wondered if you would think my mum looked beautiful too if she kissed you goodnight.

My mum turned the lights out and I snuggled into my pillow but I could still see the stars outside and I wondered if your dad was putting you into bed and talking about my mum. Maybe he was. I wondered how much he liked her and imagined that maybe they could love each other enough to not leave. Maybe then we could live in the same place. My mum would pack you oranges on Fridays and your dad would pack me mustard dip, and I wouldn’t have to wait for you to get to school after me. I smiled and started wishing because I really wanted that and it was the best thing I'd ever thought about. I hoped you were wishing for it too. You were my best friend since always, and now, if we wished right, you could be my family one day too.

I couldn’t wait to see you on Monday.