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Should I Be Friends With My Ex If I Want Him Back (Can I Be Friends With My Ex If I Still Love Him)

Have you been wondering to yourself should I be friends with my ex if I want him back? It's a common problem as you may know. You can certainly feel some comfort in the fact that you're not alone. If you're in a situation where you're saying can I be friends with my ex if I still love him, then this might be the most important thing you've ever read.

By Lyra NoahPublished 4 years ago 7 min read
Should I Be Friends With My Ex If I Want Him Back (Can I Be Friends With My Ex If I Still Love Him)
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

One of the things that confront women who had just encountered break ups in their relationships is whether they can be friends with their ex boyfriend or ex spouse. The answer to that varies, depending on how the relationship was, before the break up. If the relationship was abusive (either verbally or physically), then it is not a good idea to strike up a friendship with the ex. It's been proven that victims of abuse usually have low self esteem, and become clingy with their abuser through time. Wanting to be a friend of your ex who had abused you in one way or another is not only risky but it can also be a roadblock to your recovery, and will delay your journey towards recovering self esteem.

However, if the relationship was fulfilling, yet led to a break up due to one reason or another, it is only normal to have that desire to reconnect with your ex. It is sometimes difficult to suppress that desire to be a part of your ex's life, even on the level of being friends only. Sometimes, it becomes a consolation to think that you had not totally lost a past lover, but gained a new friend.

You would have to search your heart, though before you consider beginning or maintaining a friendship with your ex. You have to be honest with yourself and analyze if you are really prepared to just be a friend and not have expectations like you used to have when you were together. Ideally, friendship can only be considered if you had already recovered from the break up and had moved on.

One way to find out if you can handle being friends with your ex is to meet your ex's new love. If the meeting results to your feeling jealous of the other woman, then it is probably best to keep your distance, for your own good, as well as for your ex. This is a serious sign that you haven't completely moved on and that you can still get affected by the sight of him with another woman. Do not pity or hate yourself for still going through these emotions. You will get over them, if you seriously want to, but you would have to give it time.

Being friends with your ex is not a totally insane idea. There are many couples who had remained friends even after their break up. You would just have to make sure that you are ready to be simply friends and that you have already gone beyond the stage of being desperate or pining for him still.

Mistakes Women Often Make When Trying to Win Back Their Ex

It is not uncommon for the woman who has been dumped to feel down in the dumps about life. She may feel that life will never get better and do things that she ordinarily wouldn't do such as drink and/or do drugs. She may feel as if she'll be unable to live without her ex and will do whatever she can to ensure that she doesn't. If this describes you and you want to know how to get your ex boyfriend back, you need to know what mistakes to avoid so you give yourself a fighting chance.

How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back: Nine Mistakes Women Make After A Bad Breakup

Mistake 1 - Sleep With Your Ex

For your first "how to get your ex boyfriend back" tip, do not ever sleep with your ex after the breakup. For starters, it will not bring him back to you, regardless off what you might think. Secondly, it lets your ex know that he can have you anytime he wants without any strings attached. Sleeping with your ex only brings you more confusion, despite the temporary fix of his being in your life. Remember, sex isn't the end-all, fix-all to your relationship and you may end up more hurt than happy from it.

Mistake 2 - Get Revenge On Your Ex

If you've got a goal to win your ex back, then your next "how to get your ex boyfriend back" tip is to not seek revenge on him for breaking your heart, no matter how bad you were hurt by the breakup. If you choose to seek revenge by sleeping with one of his friends or doing something else that's just as mean and nasty, be ready for the repercussions of your actions including the possibility of losing any chance of winning him back.

Mistake 3 - Beg For Another Chance From Your Ex

Another important know "how to get your ex boyfriend back" tip you need to remember is to keep yourself calm and don't beg your ex for another chance. It is true you're going to be feeling lots of emotions but the last thing you need to be doing is showing him that. When you're pleading for that second chance, you're showing him just how needy and clingy you are. What you need to prove to him is how strong you are instead.

Mistake 4 - Call, Email or Text Your Ex All The Time

For your fourth "how to get your ex boyfriend back" tip, the last thing you should be doing is calling him every five to 10 seconds, hoping he'll answer the phone so you can hear his voice. You shouldn't be texting or emailing him in the hopes that he'll realize that you are the woman for him. All you're doing is driving a bigger wedge through your chances of another relationship. It may be hard but leave your phone alone and keep the email at bay until you've been able to work through your breakup emotions.

Mistake 5 - Present Your Ex With Ultimatums

Another "how to get your ex boyfriend back" tips is to not give out ultimatums. Unless you are one to follow through on your threats, don't bother giving out ultimatums. If you don't follow through, your ex will see your threats and anything else you say as empty and hollow. Besides, you have no reason to give ultimatums because you have been dumped; it's past time for you to give him these threats. If you're looking to get your ex back, don't twist his arm to try and get him back; let it happen naturally.

Mistake 6 - Flirt With Your Ex's Friends

The last thing you need to do is flirt with your ex boyfriend's circle of friends. He'll only think worse of you and his friends; if they are true friends, they won't give you the time of day. In fact, you may come across as desperate and bitter. If a friend of his does respond to your advances, then he's no true friend. If you're able to repair the relationship and have flirted with any of his friends, it may be awkward to be around them. All around, this is a very bad idea if you're trying to learn how to get your ex boyfriend back.

Mistake 7 - Stalk Your Ex

Another "how to get your ex boyfriend back" tip is to not stalk him. In fact, this is the time to give your ex the space he needs; after all, that's what the breakup is intended to do. You may want to innocently see your ex so you show up where he'll be at or you decide to drive by his house, all really just to see if he's alone or with someone new. Believe it or not, innocent or not, this is stalking your ex and all you'll end up with is a still broken heart with a label of "psycho" from your ex boyfriend and his friends.

Mistake 8 - Have A Third Party Talk To Your Ex

Don't have a third party talk to your ex, if you're unable to do it yourself. For starters, it's more likely to upset him than help you win him back. Don't have your friends talk to him because he's going to know you told them about the breakup including what happened and why. Don't talk to his friends because they're always going to take his side of the situation. On top of that, you're going to look desperate and clingy. It's common to make this mistake if you don't know how to get your ex boyfriend back so don't make it now that you know.

Mistake 9 - Press For Answers As To Why The Breakup Occurred

For your final, "how to get your ex boyfriend back" tip, you need to stop badgering your ex for the "actual" reason for the breakup. Many times, women will continually ask why to their ex boyfriend in the hopes to hearing the truth. They want to hear that the real reason for the breakup is something they can repair. The reality is they may be unable to repair it and your ex may indeed be telling you the truth. This is the time you need to accept the breakup and stop pestering your ex about the "real" reason.

Pay Close Attention Here-

Now listen carefully! Take 2 minutes to read the next page and you'll discover a stunning trick which will have your ex begging you to take them back. There is a set of easy to follow psychological tricks which will make your ex crawl back to you within a few days guaranteed. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page before it's too late and time runs out- Click Here

Now you can stop your break up or lover’s rejection...even if your situation seems hopeless! There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your ex lover back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Ex Back Secrets

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