Relationships of various nature, or on any level can be perplexing at times. How do we begin to simplify them in hopes of learning what works? He said vs She said; They said vs Them said; Venus vs Mars but what does it all truly mean? Recently I've admired yet pondered the greatest catalyst that drives my romantic relationship to work for both of us, as well as if that same catalyst drives my other relationships to work (i.e. family, professional, friendships, social, business, etc..) I suppose I should dismiss the elephant in the room and disclose to you that I've determined the greatest catalyst driving my romantic relationship's success is RESPECT! Admittingly I'm a hopeless romantic so I've always envisioned the greatest catalyst to be LOVE to successfully propel a romantic relationship. Imagine my surprise when almost three years ago I discovered RESPECT to be more vital for me than an Eros-based LOVE. Could this be why the masterfully and musically gifted Mr. Otis Redding penned the song Respect? Could this be why the great, incomparable, musically regal, and "Queen of Soul" Ms. Aretha Franklin covered and tweaked the song R-E-S-P-E-C-T arguably making it the song of the century? Could this be why the unconventionally skilled and famous comedian Mr. Rodney Dangerfield coined the phrase "I get no Respect" in his stand up and television comedy? Maybe we all found the common battle and possible mistaken prioritization of Love vs Respect to be more commonly shared within the various types of relationships.
Flashback:
The day was 05/24/2018 as I landed in Denver, CO to begin a brief stay to attend the wedding of a childhood friend with close family ties, and a shared high school alma mater and alumni body. I'd also grown in friendship with my childhood friend's fiancé stemmed from their courtship, engagement, and soon to be wedding. I was picked up by a wonderful human being serving as the wedding activities coordinator and transportation service to some of the intimately small wedding party, and this wonderful human being also happened to be one of the parents of my childhood friend's fiancé. The attraction between the two of us, within the midst of a group of us, was instant and equitably mutual. There was a mysterious yet magnetic gravitation leading us both to cast our lots in the very intentional acts of getting to know one another better within the two day trip. Our intentions were admirable and very "respectful" towards one another while remaining very present and staked in the reason for our collective coming together for the Colorado Springs wedding activities. We were able to enjoy sightseeing of a few Colorado Springs main attractions, and visit sentimental landmarks and areas of my future partner's childhood. All went well and I exited the state of Colorado via the city of Denver as I'd entered yet I left with a connection/bond that I'd never experienced before in my life. Our phone/video/email communication would continue as if it had always been, we would go on to make trips between Colorado and Texas to visit one another every 60 days, and I excitedly entered into my first and only long-distance relationship with the acute goal set by my partner for one of us to relocate to allow us to fully merge our lives together. What was so different in our chemistry that allowed us to run towards our full potential together? I was enjoying the surrender to it all, the genuine care and affection, the refusal to allow any roadblocks and/or entrapments to quench the magnetic force between us, the rebellion against our past mistakes to define us, our resistance against owing anyone any type of explanation for falling in love, yet most of all I affirmed to my partner that there was something so profound in the way my partner talked to me. The "RESPECT" in which my partner talked to me, listened to me, valued my thoughts and ideas, and executed within my comfort zone while affirming me to look beyond my comfort zone and push past my limitations to be who I was created to be!
Present Day:
Three years later we remain as in love as we began with a deeper appreciation and gratitude for one another. Our lives have been fully merged together for two years, and "RESPECT" continues to serve as the greatest catalyst in our relationship. I submit to you that while it is possible to respect someone and not love them, it is utterly impossible to love someone and not respect them. So in one of the longest running battles on planet Earth, Love vs Respect, I'll take "RESPECT" every day of the week and twice on Sunday.
What about you, are you on team Love or team Respect?
About the Creator
Makieba Hatton
Makieba Hatton is a grass roots community advocate with a vast knowledge base of community resources and an unquenchable passion to implore all members of society to have an equitable seat at all tables.
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