Open Letter to anyone whose been Abused

An Open Letter To Anyone Whose Been Abused.

I'd like to start this letter off by letting you know that you're not alone. I'd like to also tell you that I believe you and you deserve better. What happened to you was not your fault. I want you to know that also.

I'd like to tell you something personal if you don't mind. I've been in your shoes. I was in an abusive relationship for 6 years and now it's my mission to share my story in order to help others. What happened? I've written a book about it. I'm not going to share details here. But I do want to share something else with you. What happend to you is NOT what is supposed to happen in a relationship. You are not suppossed to be belittled, hit, lied too, or love bombed. You aren't supposed to develop a stammer or go to bed fearing for your life. You're not supposed to be trauma bonded to someone.

You are supposed to be loved, cared for and treated well. You're supposed to trust the person you're with not be terrified of them. You're supposed to feel safe with that person. You are supposed to have disagreements not fights that end up with you having bruises all over your face. Love is not abusive. I want you to know that.

But I'd also like you to know something else that's really important. Healing isn't easy. In fact it's probably one of the toughest things you'll ever do. You have to learn to trust peopele again, you have to unlearn all the shit you were conditioned to believe. And most of all you have to learn to love yourself again. Healing isn't linear either. Somedays you'll feel amazing and on top of the world. Other days you'll struggle to get out of bed. This is all normal. Don't rush either. Take your time. This isn't a cut, or a scrape. You can't just put a band-aid on it and expect to heal in 3 days. You have to take time. It may take months, even years. But I promise you'll get there.

How do you get there? I went to therapy and I read all the books and listened to all the podcasts. I did the work. I'm still doing the work to be honest with you. It's a daily battle.

I hear you, I love you and you'll get through this. And when you do you'll understand why everything had to happen the way it did. You'll understand why you had to learn all the lessons you did. You'll understand why you had to get your heart stomped on and cracked open like a walnut in order to come back stronger then before. You'll understand why all the pain and suffering had to happen. It was all to teach you what you don't deserve from a relationship and also to teach you to love yourself.

These were all lessons you had to learn. You may not have wanted to learn them. But you'll be thankful in the long run. You'll be thankful you're so much stronger now and you now know how to love yourself. You can now use your story to help others who've been in the same situation as you. All the things you went through were a blessing in disguise. It all taught you something that you needed to learn. So in that case you can smile and be finally at peace with your life and everything that happened to you over time. Or you can laugh. whichever you choose