New Year, Same Shit

It was the last day of the year and I remembered my ex and I made plans to spend our New Years together as a couple for the first time. Of course we both had to work that day, but I was hoping that that night’s festivities would make time go faster.

I should start by saying that my ex and I used to work at the same fast food chain named after the founder’s daughter. He was on the grill and I was at the drive thru taking orders and payment. Yes, even throughout the holidays we are short staffed, overworked and underpaid. I took an order from a customer who wanted two of our premium sandwiches which at the time was part of a 2 for $6 special. No big deal I rang her up for what she asked for. She pulled up to the window and a transaction was made. I gave her her order and told her to have a good day. Of course she had to check to see if her order was made correctly despite the long line. She grabbed my attention to tell me that she told me that she didn’t want ketchup in her sandwiches.

Now I might be hard of hearing due to the occasional white noise coming from the headset, but her voice was crystal clear at the speaker. She never said she didn’t want any ketchup in her burgers. So I pulled my fake “white girl” voice apologized and pull the car. As soon as she pulled up, something in me snapped. Perhaps it was how rude and demeaning the customer was or maybe it’s because I felt trapped and alone at the window all day especially being the only one with a headset on. Another theory might be that my former general manager denied my two weeks notice because according to her “I’ll never survive with only the salary from my second job.”

I threw the bag across the kitchen, causing all its contents to splatter the floor. My former coworkers looked at me in shock. I went on a full rant talking about how everyone was laughing and having a good time while I’m stuck in the corner dealing with rude ass customers and doing not one but three people jobs with no help. One of the employees tried to console me, but I was seeing red. I continued talking about how I can’t keep being the packed mule of this establishment and where the fuck is the manager and why isn’t she out here helping us.

All the commotion finally got the manager out of the office and I called her out for “counting the safe” in the middle of lunch. Of course she didn’t like being “disrespected” and told me to clock out, which I happily did. Now she was the type of person who always had to have the last word. So on my way out she said, “I don’t get what’s so hard about this job. It’s not rocket science to take orders, take payment and pass the food out. These people pay y’all salary.” I turned around real fast to the point where I became light headed. I told her that if I’m only getting paid $12.50 an hour to be disrespected by entitled people, then I don’t want their money.

I got in my car and was about to pull out of the parking lot when my ex stopped me. I rolled the window down thinking that he was going to have my back and walk out with me, but he didn’t. Instead he wanted to know if we’re still celebrating New Years. Fueled with anger, I told him where to shove his New Years plans at and peeled out of the parking lot.

I wasn’t able to go home right away, because my mom would question me on why I came home early so I drove around all day, crying. I knew my ex would be off work around five, so when the time came I called him. No answer. Okay maybe he’s working overtime. I’ll just call him around six. Six o’ clock came. No answer. Maybe he just got home. I’ll let him get situated and then call him in a bit. No answer.

I knew something happened after I left, because it wasn’t like him to not answer his phone. I called him one more time before calling it a night. Voicemail. I went to bed with bloodshot eyes.

I woke up the next morning to go to my other job. To my surprise, I got a call from my ex. I answered and go off on him for ghosting me the whole day when I’m at my lowest. He apologized, but that wasn’t enough for me. I needed answers, so I practically begged him to tell me why he wasn’t answering my calls. He initially didn’t tell me at first which was a major red flag for me.

My emotions got the best of me so I told him that if he didn’t tell me what’s going on I’m just going to assume the worst and leave him. He got real quiet for a minute. All I heard was the sound of his ceiling fan spinning rapidly in the background. Then he sighed, “I cheated on you last night.” Those words just shattered me. Even if we were dating for a month at that time, it still hurts.

I didn’t even prompted him to go on, but he went into full detail. After I left he went back to work as normal. Then a young lady came in and asked for directions since she’s not from around the area. My ex gave her directions and she went on her merry way. He didn’t gave much thought about her. After he got off work, he went to the next town over to check out a car at a used car dealership. The car turned out to be a lemon so he left. On his way home, he saw someone stranded on the side of the highway. Naturally being a nice guy, he stopped.

It turned out to be the same young lady from earlier. Apparently her alternator gave out and she was waiting on the tow truck. The initial plan was that the tow truck would tow the car back to her house somewhere in the country side while my ex follows it to drop her home. Well, let’s say my ex decided to take a detour to his house that he shared with his siblings and nephew. He claimed that they talked a little and that she came onto him first. Then one thing led to another and they ended up in bed together. When he woke up the next morning, she was gone.

He said that he got an earful from his sister about bringing “some random” into her house. Then I gave him an earful about cheating on me when I needed him the most. His excuse was that I canceled on New Years last minute and the way I spoke to him made him feel less like a man. When that young lady praised him for helping her, he felt fulfilled. I told him that he should be with her then since she’s easier to handle and hung up.

He showed up to my job later, asking for my forgiveness. Luckily I had the best manager ever who told him to fuck off if he wasn’t going to purchase anything. He left and I thought that was the end of it. Nope. He caught me when I was leaving work.

I told him that I don’t want to talk and to leave me alone. He kept begging me to hear him out and a part of me was telling me to cut all ties with him. The other part was telling me to pay the devil’s advocate. So I advocated. Worst. Mistake. Ever. He took me back to his place where we talked, but all I could think about was the couch where they made out and the bed they slept in.

He said that ever since he and his baby momma split, he hasn’t been in a serious relationship for awhile. He mentioned about his previous flings and how he thought that I was just going to be fling number three to him, but it got serious. Too serious to the point where my ex got anxious about leaving his bachelor life behind for me. He said that the young lady made him feel good at the moment, but she’ll never be enough for him. She’ll never fill the void for him like I do. She’ll never love him like I do.

Somehow, his words convinced me to give him a second chance. I told him that I forgave him, but I’ll never forget it. He thought I was bluffing, but if only he knew about our future arguments where I threw said incident right in his face, but that’s another story for another time.