LOVE BIDS...

It's the little things that make the biggest difference when it comes to love. Relationships are filled with challenges and learning curbs. When two individuals come together, it's because there's a connection and for some, there's a very strong connection. It's absolute bliss for many, but staying together always takes work. In my opinion, love is a combination of doing the work together and being commited to one another. To stay together, you have to learn each other and want each other so much that your love is strong enough to stick through the hard times. Like a pear, there are curbs with highs and lows, it can be juicy and sweet sometimes, it can also be deceivingly green, it can be hard and soft, tough and soft and, last but not least, there's so much more that lies beneath the surface.

Matters of the heart are complicated. My husband explains the process from an engineer's perspective as forming, storming, norming, and performing. Forming is the coming together. It's two people who have lived their lives apart with completely different backgrounds and experiences. They have a common interest in each other and a connection. They identify a purpose in one another. There's chemistry, interest and other commonalities. In storming differences come out such as beliefs and previous experiences. This is were the challenges and the work begins. Storming is after the honeymoon stage. Norming is still work but boundaries are identified. At this stage, I start learning you and you start learning me. This is the stage where each learns the other. This is also the fork in the road, this is the make it or break it stage. This is where what fits starts falling into place. Accepting imperfections, strengths and weaknesses is what adds value to this stage. The fourth and final stage is performing... You now understand each other. You compensate for each other's weaknesses and strengths. You work together as one. This is the level where achievement and accomplishment happens.

Maybe I'm a romantic or maybe I'm delusional and madly in love with my husband. He's everything I wanted and everything I dreamt of as a man and as a person... He's perfectly imperfect. All of me loves all of him and he's the keeper of my heart.

Many of us have been through more than one relationship. I remember the one who changed my life for the better forever... I remember the one for me and my story goes like this...

It was February 14, 2021 only 3 days into signing up for an online dating site. My girlfriend and I were working on a joint business venture and intermitently talking about how wonderful it would be to find "the one" that we could spend the rest of our lives with. No joke, we were dreaming about a happily ever after...

We worked later and harder than usual that day... it was Valentine's Day 2021 and we didn't have plans other than work. Let me clarify that it wasn't because we didn't have opportunities, it was because the opportunities that we had did not have what each of us wanted to warrant spending Valentine's Day with them. It sounds rather awful, but that's how it was...

It's the smile on his face when he looks at me while we're cleaning up after dinner. It's the look in his eyes when he sits across the table from me while I'm deep in conversation with him and I catch a twinkle in his eyes. It's the touch of his hand when he reaches out to hold for my hand while walking. It's the whisper of "I love you" that he says as we are falling asleep at night. It's the cup of coffee that he sets on my nightstand so I awaken to the aroma. It's the thanks that I get after a beautiful day gardening together. It's the fires that he sets up for me practically every night while we snuggle together with great conversation and a glass of Cabernet. It's the little things that make the biggest difference.

Love isn't a given. It's an opportunity to create a coming together that adds purpose to living. I haven't met one human being that hasn't yearned for that connection. The question is, are you willing to do the work?.... I believe that there's someone for everyone. Vulnerability is part of love and going into love expecting to find love is the key, Leave your past behind you. There's no room in the present or the future for baggage from the past if you really want to find true love. At the end, the outcome depends on you. Are you willing to love with all your heart and let go of your past? Just a final memo, you will always find evidence of what you believe in so make a choice. Will it be to love with all of your heart or will it be to replay the past which will only recreate more of what you don't want in the future?