Lonely, Cold Streets

Have you ever slept in a park, with no food, no warmth, no shelter, friends or family?

I have.

I've seen children cry with hunger, and I've seen parents cry because they can't feed their young.

I've seen young girls and boys sob because they have nobody to take care of them, and I've seen adults and children die from the cold.

I may be alive, but I was one of these forgotten human beings.

Life on the streets is not easy. You don't always get access to a roof for the night, food and shelter. Some of us were unlucky in that respect, and some of us did not know how to ask for help or who to turn to.

My drink sources were puddles, streams and the sea.

They were also my only source of hygiene, but cleaning oneself with these resources did not always feel 'clean,' and the seawater left my hair dirtier. None of us had access to shampoo, soap, deodrants. Sanitary products for women were not something we got given.

Most of us had to try to collect toilet paper from the free toilets in the public restrooms. We used these as Sanitary products, but the paper was rough, often leaving us sore and unclean.

It was a rare thing that women were grouped together on the street; most of us just wanted to be left alone because we feared being attacked or stolen from, and the men who slept on the streets were often violent.

We found it hard to trust one another, because when you sleep on the streets, you can't trust anyone.

Food and drink weren't easy to source.

This was the 90s.

We didn't have outlets offering food to homeless people, or shelters we could often use. Some of these shelters were available, but many of us were in isolated areas where they could not be reached.

Many of us slept on park benches and in doorways, an occurrence that we still see today. Braving stormy weather without a quilt or cover to stay warm was a struggle, and those who had them were not protected from heavy rains or storms.

Most of the time, we had to fight to survive.

Whilst some people were kind, many were not. We put up with being hit, punched, spat on, and many people on the streets were knifed and even murdered.

The people who did this were not kind. Children were hurt in horrible ways, and both men and women were faced with rape and violence.

We had nobody to help us. Often, when the authorities were involved, many of us were misunderstood and accused of starting fights and crimes that we did not commit.

The police, in particular, would watch us like hawks. It did not matter whether you were innocent; if you were on the streets, in their eyes, you were a criminal.

This perception is a misunderstanding, caused by those on the streets who commit crimes, and by those who are not on the streets who misperceive people like me because of that.

I wasn't with groups regularly. Most of the time, I preferred to be alone because being in a group often meant more trouble, and eventually, I started to feel uncomfortable in a group, so I chose solitude to try and reclaim some peace.

During that time of solitude, I was lonely, scared and cold. I had no access to food or shelter, and nobody to talk to.

The only shelter I had was a bandstand, but that did not protect me from storms, cold or bad weather.

I continued washing, but only in a stream, where I would often wash my hair because taking my clothes off would leave me prone to attack, as there was no privacy.

I now had no resource to food. When the hunger was bad, I resorted to eating plants and berries from trees, even if they were tasteless.

I also put myself at risk of being poisoned by doing this.

I was attacked on more than one occasion in many brutal ways.

I was raped and beaten by both men and women.

Eventually, I found peace after I miscarried, not knowing I was carrying. I only knew that I was bleeding, and I was taken to a hospital where I finally met the love of my life, whom I married in 1999.

I did not end up in this position on the streets on purpose. I ended up there whilst trying to escape a seriously abusive situation that nobody was helping me with, and I had no access to shelter or help to access it at this time.

I have written this because I wanted to shed a clearer light on the matter, and clear these misconceptions that people have about people on the streets.

Whilst some do end up there because they have done something to land themselves in that position, many people who are vulnerable and end up there through no fault of their own.

The question is, could you tell the difference? Many of these people are invisible to the public eye.

It's important not to judge another person's story, unless you know the true facts of their case.

You could save a person's or a child's life by remaining mindful. If in doubt, always call for help.