Life’s Fragility Through Dostoyevsky’s Story

Have you ever considered which moments make up your life? Changing everything, your perception, what you choose, yourself?

That wasn’t a metaphorical moment for Fyodor Dostoyevsky, though — neither figurative death was in play: he saw the Grim Reaper in the flesh.

What he learned in that harrowing scene was the beat of his art and his life.

A Morning Like No Other

There was a chilling day back in Dostoyevsky’s life, one that seemed meant to come right out of a thriller novel.

Picture this: the harsh reign of the Tsar would sentence a young Dostoyevsky, just 28 years old, to death for the effrontery to think, speak and even debate.

His crime? Forming a discussion group that dared to share ideas.

One cold morning, Dostoyevsky was dragged from his cell. The sentence was read aloud, a priest heard his final confession, and he was tied to a post, blindfolded, awaiting the firing squad’s command.

Can you imagine what must have raced through his mind?

The chill of the wind, the tightness of the ropes, the seconds stretching into eternity as he awaited the word: “Fire!”

But that command never came.

At the last possible moment, the Tsar’s “mercy” was revealed.

The execution was staged — yes, staged — to terrify him. Instead of death, Dostoyevsky was sent into exile, first for eight years, then later reduced to four.

A Brush with Death, A Rediscovery of Life

This wasn’t mercy; it was psychological torment.

Yet, it was also something else: A moment that rocked Dostoyevsky and rebuilt him from the ground up.

Dostoyevsky found life again, quickly, before dying.

When the chains were taken from his wounded hands four years later, his health was broken, and his fame was forgotten. But one thing shone brighter than ever from his shattered body: the joy of living.

Stefan Zweig — Dostoyevsky’s Transformation

Doesn’t that make you think?

So often we live life without it, until something jolts us awake.

Life on the Edge

Dostoyevsky poured his experience into his characters, like Raskolnikov in Crime and Punishment, who mused:

“If I were forced to live on the edge of a high, steep cliff, on a narrow ledge just big enough for my two feet…

And if I had to stand there for my entire life, for a thousand years, for all eternity…

That would still be better than dying in a mere half-hour.”

These aren’t just a matter of sounding nice, these are echoes of a man who stood on that metaphorical ledge and chose life.

What About You?

Dostoyevsky’s story makes us realize that we don’t have to a staged execution in order to appreciate the beauty of life.

But it does beg the question: Have you ever been on the brink, of looking at life standing on the brink?

If you were aware that tomorrow isn’t a given, what would you hold dear?

Perhaps it is time for me to stop waiting for a wakeup call and begin living as though I understand how fast life can be.

Everybody Owes Dostoyevsky

Dostoyevsky used his 18 month brush with death to gain a deep and profound understanding of the fragility, and beauty of life.

That’s why his works pack such resonance, because they’re real meditations with a human trying to live, trying to suffer, trying to love.

So, here’s the takeaway: Life is a gift.

Instead of living for the grandest of moments, but every single one, the morning light, the laughter of children, even the indignities endured that make me who I am.

The truth was learned by Dostoyevsky on the edge of a firing squad.

Well, let’s not wait until we need our own brink-of-death moment to life embrace it.

It’s not if life is worth living, it’s how we will live it.

How will you now spend your precious and fleeting moments today?