Let Her Break Your Heart Again

Forgive yourself for leaving her behind. That part of you that you needed to walk away from for the time being. You don't need to dig into reasoning. Some parts of us just become too heavy to carry. Whether it was because we were exploring new versions of ourselves, or because they were anchoring us to a past we were trying to leave behind. Maybe we lost the battle we were fighting to become that person. At some point, your healing or your survival depended on letting that part of yourself go. There is no shame in that, and you don't need to continue dragging yourself for how you went on without them, but now it’s time to go back for them.

That part of you that you fought so hard to become, but then allowed you to attach yourself to another broken storyline. That part of you that lit up a room but left you vulnerable. The part of you that allowed you to feel everything but left you throbbing in pain until it turned into numbness. The version of yourself that you spent so long crafting and manifesting, only for it to be torn at its core. The part of you that left this new version of you feeling exhausted every time you tried to get back to her.

Perhaps you left her in that cold, dark room. You might have chosen to walk away from the war she dragged you into. You left her there without looking back because you knew the chaos she created could not be salvaged. Maybe you blamed her for the state you resided in. Drained from the energy and the fight, and the fire she required to remain relevant. She was in it for the fun, and you had worked too hard and had come too far to allow her to keep steering the ship.

There is a version of you that you felt like you had to tuck away at some point. It could have been to protect her, or it could have been to protect yourself.

Yet, what you didn’t realize was that she was the one who inspired you to keep moving forward. She was the art of you that would laugh at the challenges you faced, and the one who lit all the fires you assumed she consumed. She was the fire, she was the fight, and she was everything that made your little Universe feel so alive. Colors have faded since you extinguished her blaze. You walk around wondering why you feel so exhausted, yet she had you up running circles at 4 am and mapping out Empires. She lulled you to sleep with her savage melodies and her “Don’t worry, Tiger, we’ll get 'em in the morning” type attitude. The moon shone so much brighter when you had her by your side.

That life of stability and peace you envisioned for yourself starts with the very firm foundation she built. She made this part of your journey a reality because she attacked every single obstacle in the badass way she did. So, she got a little carried away. So, she sought out a little fun, and it got her in trouble. So, she knocked down all of your walls, and it left you with a broken heart. I dare you to bring her back and watch how fast she puts you back together. Like she did once before. Watch her devour the world around her. Imagine how the healing you have done would spiral beautifully with all of the storms that she is in. You could be entirely whole as the wrecking ball that you are together. Nothing would stop you.

She was born out of the rubble that came before her. There is nothing she can’t fix… or destroy if you need her to. You trusted her once to put you back together. Imagine the force that would come sweeping through your little world with every part of you nuzzled beautifully into place, working cohesively to build the life of your dreams. If you are questioning why you have been stuck when you have already made it so far, perhaps it’s because you're missing the part of you that catapulted you from the wreckage. I encourage you to take that trip back to get her. You won't regret it.