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Most recently published stories in Humans.
Long Distance
My boyfriend and I have been together for two and half years now. We have the same sense of humour, work well together and both have similar ideas for the future. For me, he is perfect. It has, however, not been all plain sailing. The main problem in our relationship is that there are about one hundred and fifty-three miles between us. Long distance can cause a strain on our relationship. There is not being able to see my boyfriend as much as I would like, as well as the time and money that goes into traveling. But when you are really committed to each other, there are things that make it all worthwhile.
By Charlotte Waugh8 years ago in Humans
Who Picks Up The Bill On The First Date?
So you went out with him after all! Good on ya'. You had a great time, a nice meal, and a lot of "getting to know one another." You order dessert, and you find out he likes chocolate over strawberry. Great. The waiter comes over to your table and leaves a small black tray with a daunting piece of paper on top, and a smile before leaving you to it. Suddenly, only a single question remains: who pays the bill? The man, the woman, or both? Maybe once you’ve been dating for a while, you could agree on what works for you as a couple, but in the early, nerve-racking days, it can be tough to figure out when you've only got mere seconds to decide. Is there a dating formula to determine the right answer here, or some dating etiquette book to check out? A 2015 Sage Journal article breaks this down for us a little bit: over 17,000 heterosexual, unmarried men and women were asked to determine who pays on the first date. Despite the fact that 74 percent of the men and 83 percent of the women report that both members of the couple should contribute to dating expenses after dating for six months, 76 percent of men said they feel guilty when accepting women’s money on the first date. 39 percent of women wished men would reject their offers to pay while 44 percent of women were bothered when men expected women to help pay. Yet even in today's day and age, there still doesn't seem like a solid, right-or-wrong answer to this question, but more so a few general guidelines that are widely accepted when it comes to our dating etiquette.Much of the data in the Sage Journal article states that there is a clear illustration of how people might be resisting or conforming to traditional gender norms. Historically, "dating" was related to the male’s displaying benevolent sexism, dominance, and the ability to fulfill the breadwinner's role during courtship, thus the traditional ideal that the man should pay for the first date and, ideally, for a few more into the relationship. Realistically, it does seem to be the courteous thing to do and suggests a sense of responsibility, stability in his own finances, and the level of enjoyment of his date’s company. Farnoosh Torabi, a female writer for time.com's Money column said in a post from 2014 that, "If I ever insisted on paying my half at the end of a first date when you offered to treat, it may have been because I never wanted to see you again. My persistence to pay was—at best—code for, 'Let’s just be friends'." That being said, there certainly is no reason why a woman shouldn’t offer to pay for a drink before or after dinner or make some other small gesture to contribute towards the date. The key to who pays on the first date is simple: it is a test to showcase how the man handles himself and not how the dollars and cents are divided. Whether the man or woman instigated the date, the man should be prepared to pay first. Can't afford a nice dinner? Try a coffee date, because it shouldn't take an expensive meal to get to know if you can connect with someone. If the woman insists on paying or putting something of her own towards the bill, accepting it with grace instead of immediately allowing them to pay or rejecting them outright will score you more points in the long run—if there is still a chance, that is. Bernardo Mendez of Your Great Life TV states: “If during the course of the first date you decide that you absolutely don’t want to see this guy again, insisting on paying for your half can help you signal more clearly that you’re not open to it.”The trick to it is not to make the cheque scenario awkward when it arrives to your table. An impressive way for a man to handle the bill is to discreetly settle it on his way to the men's room in order to avoid having any conversations about it. Trust me, you'll be MVP of the night with this move, fellas. The important take away from this is to know that paying for a date is more about the person than it is about the money, whether it is the first date, the second date, or the one-year anniversary! Paying for things generally gets easier as the relationship deepens and evolves so it is best to put your focus on the person in front of you rather than in the weight of your wallet. The chivalry at the beginning of a relationship is important, so prioritize this during the first few weeks of dating someone new.
By Delilah Jayde8 years ago in Humans
10 Myths About Dating an Asian Girl: Debunked
Though this rather interesting concept dates back many centuries into our past, dating Asian women (or more specifically, the idea of dating an Asian women), has officially gone mainstream. Admittedly, I had to do a bit more research on this post than I did when I wrote '10 Myths About Dating An Asian Guy: Debunked' since a common thread links the two simply because of cultural ideas and misconceptions about Asian women as a whole. Interestingly enough, the opposite can be said about Asian women. They are readily pursued by a niche of men, both Asian and non-Asian who idolize the potential lifestyle that an Asian woman is stereotyped to bring to a relationship such as the traditional woman's role in the household (cooking, cleaning, taking care of children), a certain level of submissiveness as well as a number of other common cultural assumptions. But as an Asian female who was born and raised by immigrant parents in America, it is clear to me that these traditional stereotypes are extremely outdated and are still being kept in our society today despite the changes we're making as the next generation. It makes it difficult to truly embrace the dating game when these myths and stereotypes are portrayed this way even in today's social media and pop culture. In response to this, here are ten common myths about Asian women and their truths based on my experience as one of them:
By Delilah Jayde8 years ago in Humans
Struggles of a Modern Immigrant
Fresh Off the Boat Fresh off the boat. That is what someone said about me when I told him that I had only moved to America two and a half years ago. Comments like that are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to challenges that I have faced immersing into society in America. Every so often, there's "Where are you from?" "Your English is really good." "Can you make sushi?"
By Gisele Nakamura8 years ago in Humans
Ministry Through Friends
Last year I was offered two positions in a different city. I was so excited about the opportunities but it required me to up-root myself from everything I knew and loved in Philadelphia. I had to quickly prepare to be a part-time college professor and full-time researcher; the goals I have set myself were finally happening. When I told my family and friends about the new opportunities and the relocation, they were so excited for me. Their excitement and support for my career goals meant so much to me. I was so proud.
By Leslie Williams8 years ago in Humans
Social Media, Dictating Relationships
One morning in my unplanned barely-awake stupor, I found myself browsing Facebook on my phone only to come across of bevy of articles explaining how I should feel about my relationships. Everything about how to bond with my siblings, what men need to learn about women and even if it was time to break up with my BFF.
By Julia Beaulieu8 years ago in Humans
Best Polyamorous Relationship Tips to Make It Work
Polyamory is not easy. If you think having a single boyfriend or girlfriend is hard, imagine how difficult it is to juggle two at the same time. Speaking as someone who was in a polyamorous relationship with five different people, I'll be the first to say it's not for everyone.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart8 years ago in Humans
The Do's and Don'ts of Online Dating
Most people want to have a meaningful relationship with someone, however, "dating" can be a miserable task. First of all, you have to meet someone, then you have to muster up the courage to ask that someone out on a date. If the answer is affirmative, then you get a second helping of worries to deal with as you work to impress this person you want to get to know. If the answer is negative, you will eventually try it all over again with someone else, but you will never quite recover from the crippling pain of rejection.
By Kathryn C. 8 years ago in Humans
