Keeping one’s goals in mind

It was an Autumn Melbourne evening when Sarah curled up in bed for the first night in her new home, a one-bedroom apartment alongside the Peninsula. She could not help but feel a sense of relief, a sense of ease. She realised this was not a moment that would come along too frequently. Really, how often does someone buy a home? How often does someone receive a lump sum of $20,000 in inheritance? These were only some of the thoughts going through Sarah’s comforted mind.

The inheritance, along with her savings was enough to purchase the walls Sarah now called home. She felt almost shameful that this was how she came about owning a piece a property. Her father’s death was sudden, though peaceful as he passed away in this sleep two years ago. The cause still unknown.

Sarah’s goal, since she was an adolescent was to be independent and have her own place for peace, tranquility and sharing with those around her. There were possibilities of sparking new relationships. She was also able to say good-bye to house sharing, which included bills, car park spaces and bathrooms.

Overtime, Sarah began to not only make a home for herself but became part of what was going on around her in the surrounding houses and streets. There were street Christmas parties, school fete’s and local music events. Even the corner grocery store, coffee shop and the few tradies prepared to demonstrate punctuality and enjoyment in completing tasks formed part of her newly found routine.

There was one man in particular, a tall well-built tradie with glowing olive skin, a friendly demeanor and positive outlook on all matters concerning a toolbox with hammers, plungers and screwdrivers. His dark brown hair often stood out in the shimmering daylight when Sarah opened the door.

It was not that Nicholas was starting to become a regular presence in Sarah’s life. It was not that the cost of the home renovations was starting to add up. It was more Sarah’s troubles with the lack of privacy that often existed in a close community. The little black notebook became her saviour as she documented what she wished to work towards regarding her ambitions.

One fresh morning, Sarah stepped outside for a coffee and saw Felicity, a neighbour from two streets away, who already seemed to be in a sour mood. Maybe it was the service in the coffee shop or the morning rush before work. Felicity also managed to see Sarah who would have preferred to be overlooked.

‘Where are you heading to Sarah?’

Felicity had the tone of wanting to lead the conversation into a certain direction, or the perception that Sarah was rushing somewhere. The same could have been said about Sarah’s perception of Felicity, but why bother. They both clearly had a different outlook on all things concerning intentions.

There was certainly competition in the area. A major hunt for the right partner and the status that goes with having a steady, suitable lover. Ultimately with the purpose of having children. There was only one focus for Sarah, and that was to fix up her tiny but comforting home, hoping she would have more opportunities to talk to Nicholas. Participating in the gossip of her neighbours was not high on Sarah’s agenda.

As the months gradually became cooler and brisker with a chill in the wind, Sarah continued finding new home improvement projects. First there were the blinds, then a new oven and kitchen bench tops. Next was to improve the overall aesthetic look of the bathroom. Sarah did try to start the projects with creativity and initiative, but there was always the need for a trustworthy tradie to be on hand. How can Sarah pull off cupboard benches or removal of a vanity? Sarah was a part-time Journalist and part-time Nanny. Household renovations was not her specialty.

After a quick phone call, Nicholas arrived at Sarah’s door step the next day.

“Good morning Sarah, what can I help with today?”

“It is not so much a single job but instead some home renovations. I would love for you to help”.

They both spoke politely about vanities, oven specs and the labour required. There was little room for chit chat regarding each other’s daily lives. Was it just the body language that Sarah was looking into? Was it the friendly approach of Nicholas that struck a chord with her? Either way with Nicholas’ smile, she was sure something more than a conversation with a homeowner and businessman was going on. Once the general idea of what was involved was clear between both, they said goodbye at Sarah’s door hesitantly but warmly.

The days began to merge into each other, and they did not cross paths. Sarah was preoccupied with the renovation shopping. It was not until an unusually warm Autumn evening several weeks after they both spoke, that she became interested in something else than her home. Sarah heard sirens from fire engine’s rushing down the next street. She looked out her window and could see the dust and grey smoke in the air not far from her home. Her neighbour Shane yelled at her, “The Winterboard’s kitchen caught a light, it is a real blaze. I would stay inside to keep safe Sarah”.

But Sarah was not deterred by his comments and threw on a grey windcheater, stepped outside in her pajama bottoms and headed straight into the direction of the smoke. She was determined to find out herself if the fire were under control and wanted to establish if she could provide some comfort to the Winterboard’s. They were an elderly couple but often had their two grandchildren stay over, who were under the age of ten.

When she reached the burning home, there were three fire engines surrounding the property, two police cars and an ambulance. Far in the distance, she could see Nicholas standing with a small crowd of neighbours, from memory the young family that lived two doors down from herself.

“Hey there” Sarah said, in a somewhat too casual tone taking in consideration the context of the situation.

“Hi Sarah” Nicholas said, with a smile.

“Have you heard if the Winterboard’s are safe?”

“Yes” Nicholas replied. “The paramedics are just looking after them now. They do not really know the cause of the fire yet. I suppose the first thing is to put the flames out”.

“It is good news everyone is okay”, Sarah commented.

“Too true”.

“It was good seeing you Nicholas. I hope to see you sometime soon”.

“It might be sooner than you think” he replied, leaving Sarah wondering what he entirely meant by the last comment.

She woke rather foggy the next morning after little sleep. It would be safe to assume the whole neighbourhood had a lack of sleep. There was a sense of relief that everyone was okay, and the fire did not spread to surrounding homes. Though devastating for the Winterboard’s.

Regardless of the previous night’s sleep, there was comfort to be taken in a quiet weekday morning, as she stepped outside for a morning coffee. To her surprise she bumped into Felicity, who was more than eager to discuss the past nights events and how it came close to the whole street burning to the ground.

“There needs to be a serious investigation to the cause of the fire. I do not think the Winterboard’s fully understand the impact on others”.

“I am sure it was an accident Felicity, no need to cause fear or alarm in the neighbourhood”.

“Oh no, someone needs to be at fault”.

“I think it is best to focus on that no one was harmed”, Sarah explained.

There was no easy way for Sarah to leave this conversation and Felicity was all worked up and ready to cause even more drama to the event.

“I need to make some calls Felicity, I will see you around” she says, in a rather short and unenthusiastic way and walked off.

Too Felicity’s defense, Sarah was also worried about the surrounding neighbours and understood the previous night’s events would have generated a great deal of distress in the community. A huge fire could have caused harm to anyone.

Next to her advantage, she bumped straight into Nicholas. Not that he is hard to miss with his tall muscular build and perfect bright haunting green eyes.

“Where are you rushing off too Sarah?”

“Home, away from the meddling gossip in this place”.

“No need for the rush, it just spurs them on” Nicholas replied, in an intuitive way.

“How did you get on after last night?”, she asked.

“I stayed for a few hours. There was concern amongst the neighbours, and it took some time before the blaze was under control. How about you?”

“I was fine. Though, it was a sleepless night”.

“Hey Sarah, did you want to catch up for a drink, or maybe even two?”

“For sure, sounds like a great idea” she said, with a huge grin.

“How about this Friday night?”

“Definitely”, Sarah replied.

“I will pick you up at seven, how does that sound?”

“Great, see you then”.

There was still noticeable commotion in the street from last night’s fire. It was at this point Sarah began to think about the afternoon’s appointment with the bank, as she was refinancing. The initial properties’ worth had grown over the last twelve months since she had moved in.

As Sarah walked home, she saw Felicity wave as a gesture. Maybe as an indication Felicity would like things to smooth out between the two. Though at the same time Sarah could not help reflecting there does not always need to be a sense of urgency including with matters of the heart, or someone’s feelings, or even with someone else’s heart. Force or manipulation does not present reality. It breaks someone instead which can often not be repairable. Sarah considered that possibly those who are prepared to do the damage, feel little in the first place. She settled with the thought that opportunities will always present themselves.

While drinking her coffee in the living room, she previously never understood what loss meant and it was not until her father’s death that she discovered grief. She began to wonder whether $20,000 was meant to ease the grief or cause even more pain. It was true, she will be meeting with the bank to capitalise on what has already grown from the inheritance. But she will never have a hug from her father or be able to watch a movie with him again.

With the sense of focusing on what you can control, she reached for the little black notebook on her coffee table that included the list of ambitions that have grown since receiving her inheritance. Or more to the point what her father had hoped for her just out of his love. Gradually she appreciated the understanding of not being overwhelmed with lists. There are much greater emotions out there to be experienced. Whether that be friendship, being a part of something or even having self-worth.