It's in the Silence that I hear the Loudest Things

Imagine being in the office. It's late in the day and you are in a meeting that's dragged on for hours after lunch. The boss is presenting about budgets and project deadlines. It's boring and the presentation has dragged on. You know it's not going to work. The figures are all wrong and yet the room is listening in rapt attention. 

Can't anyone see the errors in the figures? Am I the only one who can see the mistakes?

You look around the room at your colleagues to check for any sign of acknowledgement that they have noticed. You see it in the body language; an impatient drumming on a knee, a leg gently moving from side to side in uncomfortable silence. A frown across the room. Someone checks their watch, another pulls their ear lobe.

Yes, they've all spotted it. BUt who will speak first?

Your mind starts to drift to your personal life. To your kids waiting patiently for you to come home, their young faces lit up at seeing you walk through the door. 

Something gets your attention in the room. A cough and a half filled glass of water being set back down on the table making a louder noise than expected. A mumbled apology. 

The presentation carries on but now the numbers and profit margins really don't add up. You sigh and inwardly cringe at the errors in the data. Something is not right.

Do you speak up and risk the room and your boss resenting you for pointing out the mistakes? Or do you let it slide?

The answer is not always as clear cut as a definitive yes. There are many reasons why we don't speak up in meetings and work settings. Fear of being ridiculed and laughed at, or even worse being completely ignored even though you know you are right.

I usually speak up eventually, but the reactions from colleagues have not always been welcomed. The truth can sting even the most stubborn people. You have to have a certain way to tell the truth. Sugar coat the obvious by buttering up the person first in order to not offend, and then gently break down their useless presentation.

Why do we have to moisturise the egos of our colleagues? Why not tell the truth?

The answer is that most people take criticism badly, even when you are right. It's the embarrassment that follows and the reactions. There is a silent etiquette at play in the work environment and sometimes we get it wrong.

I've worked in several different offices before returning to work in an elementary school. It's interesting to see the office / work politics happening between colleagues. It's like a micro-climate of people who are forced to work together but don't necessarily choose to mix outside of work. We are professionals of course, but the politics are silently running through the room like an invisible hum. 

As a trauma survivor, I see the subtle shifts in body language like silent alarms. It's interesting how human beings communicate with their bodies without saying a single word. I can tell if someone is not being truthful or holding something back, and I often wonder why people choose to not speak their mind.

Why can't we be more honest with each other?

These same traits exist in the school environment too. The teacher's lounge can be a toxic place, and sometimes I choose to be outside with my students instead of being indoors with colleagues. Other times I need a break and stay in my classroom pretending to organize the classroom but I just need ten minutes to gather my thoughts, and avoid the teacher's lounge.

What do you do in your work environment when something is not right? Do you speak up or do you let it slide?

My name is Lizzy. I'm a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

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