Is It Normal for Your Partner to Remind You of Your Parent?

Does your partner remember your opposite-sex parent? Have you ever caught yourself whispering "like you're a mom/dad", scared of this idea? Some theories tell us that women will be attracted and will subconsciously find a similar partner from some perspectives with their father, and men will be attracted and look for a similar partnership with their mother. Exaggerating a bit, we could say that we have a relationship with a replica of our father or mother!

There are various debates and studies, most showing that there is indeed some resemblance between a person's chosen partners and that person's opposite-sex parent. So, when you find yourself thinking that your partner reminds you of your father/mother from a point of view, you shouldn't be surprised - it's a common fact.

We are attracted to people who, through a certain trait, remind us of the parental image, that feeling of familiarity and emotional comfort inspires us. This does not mean that we would try to replace the parent with the partner of the couple, nor that we would have "impure" emotions towards the parent!

It just means that we are subconsciously and instinctively attracted to people in whom we find something familiar, something familiar and dear. Sometimes, certain traits make us reject some people - it's the same thing, only in this case, the image of the parent is not a positive one for you (your nightmare being to be with someone similar to the parent, with whom you had a negative relationship).

The partner may remind you of your parent of the opposite sex, he has some similarities such as:

Physical features - not the most common resemblance that attracts you to a partner, however, some studies have shown that a woman is attracted to men with stature or facial features similar to their father when he was young; and men find attractive women with their mother's figure, facial features, and hair color when she was young.

These traits give birth to that feeling of familiarity and comfort. It can be something more subtle: a small characteristic feature, an expression, body odor, body posture, tone, or intonation of the voice.

Occupation and interests. More or less consciously, many people will be attracted to partners of the couple with education, professionalism, and interests similar to those of the parent of the opposite sex. It is not strange: often, the parent is a model that you admire, so you admire a person with these characteristics.

The type of relationship you had. Does your partner remind you of the parent of the opposite sex when you think about the way you communicate, the way you interact? Here we enter into a more complex subject: it seems that, as adults, we have couple relationships that sometimes resume the model of the relationship we had with our parents.

Without wanting or even realizing it, we maintain the same general model of relationship. A harmonious and balanced relationship with parents makes the adult capable of such relationships. A cold and distant relationship with his parents brings him into similar relationships, in which he tries to heal his wounds, looking for the partner's attention and affection that he did not have from his parents (but ironically, the person finds partners who will also be distant and unavailable).

A conflicted relationship with parents brings the adult into similar patterns of unbalanced relationships, competitive or dominant relationships.

The needs you want fulfilled play a major role: when all your emotional needs were met as a child, you look for them naturally and in the couple's relationship, but without putting the greatest emphasis on them; when, however, you have experienced emotional deprivation, this satisfaction of needs will dominate any relationship: you try to replace the lack felt by finding security, attention, and affection from your partner.

Which can make you a very needy and addicted, often self-centered couple partner. A healthy couple relationship is not one in which the role of the partner is a substitute for the parent, a protector - when you realize that you are trying to get from your partner what you missed from your parents, you should realize that you live with injuries old uncured.

And the partner will not be able to compensate for the lack you feel, nor is it fair to ask him for such a task.

When your partner reminds you of a parent of the opposite sex, you don't have to worry, believing that your choice was unhealthy and that you are subconsciously looking for the needs you missed as a child. In the end, we look for and find in the people around us what we need. And just like the relationship with the parents, the couple's relationship offers us affection, security, value, stability in life. On the other hand, if you are aware that the attraction towards your partner lies precisely in this resemblance, it is good for you and for him to ask yourself what kind of relationship you have in reality, on which this relationship is based - only on the needs your?

Is it a healthy relationship for both of you, or is it a relationship where your partner has found himself acting as a guardian for an adult who has been emotionally stuck in the past?

But why do we wake up with similar partners in some ways with our parents without having any emotional blockage? Why, even when the relationship with the parents was a balanced one, are we inclined towards partners who possess certain traits similar to those of the parent? The answer was suggested above: it's about familiarity!

Without realizing it many times, a certain trait brings back to our mind the image of the parent, which gives us the feeling of attraction to the person, emotional comfort, and security. Do you know how you feel when you fall in love - "like I've known a person for a lifetime"? It is this feeling that a certain trait of a person gives birth to in you.

Of course, when the relationship with your parents was a destructive one, the effect can be the opposite: you are not attracted, but rejected by those people who give birth to your feeling of familiarity - that's why some people will look for partners not similar, but radically different from their parent. opposite.

But it is the same process - a trait, more subtle or not, brings to your mind the image of the parent (which most often you do not even realize).