INSHALLAH

Never really thought a blessing would EVER come my direction. I always felt I was just put on earth to experience unhappiness. My life didn’t start at humble beginnings and it just continued to decline. Why was I ever born.

Even though my parents were divorced, neither of them liked me. After being shuffled from home to home i was just a lost soul. As a child I was never allowed to leave my room or watch tv. To keep myself entertained I read my encyclopedias. I would get lost in reading because it was one of my only ways of escaping my dim reality.

In my room I also discovered my creative side ( I liked to comb hair ). I’d steal little dolls and do their hair extra fancy and glamorous. I had to hide them so whichever parent i was with wouldn’t find them. They were my escape. This skill really came in handy as The years went by. Even though through time I experienced homelessness, abandonment and sad feelings of despair from parents and family my skills of combing hair manifested.

I became a GREAT hairstylist. This really came in handy because this is how I took care of myself. I finished high school while living with a roommate. My hair skills helped me pay the bills. I touched so many heads and spirits. This brought me so much joy. As the years went by I got better, more established and made a lot of money. I really started to feel myself. I had a feeling that I belonged and the people needed me I didn't need them.

I had money, clothes and whatever expensive material thing I wanted and for the first time I felt happiness ; at least I thought. Just so happened I lost it all. I went from everything to nothing and my happiness went with it. I went from having a full clientele to a mere 10. I was barely making it. I was literally living week to week.

I had one client (I’ll call her Ms. Mary) who stayed with me even at my lowest. Ms. Mary would feed me gems to better myself and my spirit. I loved when she came for an appointment because she humbled me. A woman of beautiful words, full of humanity and an astounding spirit. What’s funny is I don’t know where she came from. Most of my clients were referrals because I didn’t take walk ins. She wasn’t referred to me. I looked in my book one day and just saw her name, number and what she wanted to be done to her hair. From her first appointment I really enjoyed her and her spirit. She would pep me up on my worst day.

She would always give me something to read. I told her of my youth and my coping mechanism of reading to escape my sad reality. She always said” Life is a good book..different pages ,with different chapters and with different experiences...many chapters are sad but they build to a great ending..most don’t get to finish a good book but, if you do the ending can be GLORIOUS ”. It puzzled me but I made sure to place a mental note of it. I started to really understand her saying and began to little by little incorporate it into my life.

Happiness started to creep back in and it wasn’t due to money or material things. Every day was literally a page turning. The same gems Ms.Mary was giving me I started giving to others. A lot of times just random people that spoke to my heart. I also started telling people the same saying Ms.Mary told me. For the first time in my life my heart smiled and was filling with so much joy. I felt I honestly had a true purpose which I’ve never felt before.

The money I had didn’t bring me happiness it was the purpose of life and how you share it with others. Everyone we meet are important in creating the myriad of memories that makes us who we are.

But little did I know Ms.Mary’s saying would come to pass. She texted me and asked could I visit her in the hospital. I responded “yes” and proceeded on my way. I got to her room she looked so frail and weary. When she saw me her smile lit up like the sun. I gave her the warmest and most endearing hug I could. She told me she was dying; my heart dropped. She placed her hand on my chin and lifted my face. She said ever so gently “don’t be sad......it’s ok ...I’m at the end of my book and love it was GLORIOUS”. I kissed her hand and tears fell down my cheeks.

The one person I felt who truly loved me is leaving me and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m drifting into despair again. While holding her hand I started to reminisce on when I first met Ms.Mary ....how she drifted into my life and the beautiful times we shared in and out of the salon. I loved Ms.Mary for her words of wisdom, her endearing heart and her humility. It’s like everything I told her about my life she had the perfect answers to my woes. I hated charging her for my services because she gave me so much more. More valuable than money. I use start walking away when she would try to pay but Every time I would turn her money away she’d hide it in my station with a little thank you card. It would always say “you deserve your payment and I’m grateful for you servicing me”. Every card was always different.

Ms.Mary was still speaking as I zoned out reminiscing. I felt her grip soften and her words started to get weak. She said “ Love it’s my time and I must go. There will be a package delivered to you in a couple of days. Please take your time with it for the meaning of it is very special”. She then closed her eyes and took her last breath.

I return home with so much sadness in my heart. I took off a few days just mourn and gather myself and my feelings. I truly lost an angel. The one person who I felt loved me unconditionally. My last day off I received a knock at my door. I look at my surveillance camera and no one is there but there’s a beautiful box on my door step. I remembered Ms.Mary telling me a package would arrive for me. But in my mind I thought 💭 how she knew where I lived. We’ve never been to each other’s homes...just out and about and the salon. I thought she’d have the special package delivered to the salon.

I opened the door and look around..i still don’t see anyone however I take the package in and opened it. It’s like heaven was placed in a box. When I opened the top a great light started beaming and clouds were floating......inside this box! Then a book started to ascend upwards. It was a beautiful black book adorned in gold and diamonds. When the book stopped ascending a soft voice from the box said “ open and read me”. I was in utter and complete AWE and in shock! When I opened the book on the first page I saw Ms.Mary’s beautiful face and my baby picture. It read “Please read me carefully”. Confused I slowly started reading. Each page was filled with every facet of my life down to the smallest detail. The more I turned the pages the more I saw my life. My ups, my downs. My triumphs and my heartbreaks. Each page was also accompanied with a picture of a specific event that occurred. I didn’t know whether to put the book down or to finish reading. I decided to finish it.

When I got to the end I saw Ms.Mary’s smiling face with a caption saying “ you made it to the end. I’m your guardian angel and I was with you every step of your life. If you look back at each picture you will find me somewhere in it watching you....(I flipped to every picture and there she was. Somewhere in the picture with her beautiful smile watching). I’m so proud I was assigned to you and your heart. Your heart and soul had endured so much pain and disappointment. People hurt you an let you down ...I was needed to fill that void. When I was finally able to meet you in person your spirit was highly troubled. I even saw where you wanted to end your life. I felt it was time to show you what real love and kindness could feel like. Over time you blossomed and your heart filled with unspeakable joy. You found purpose. I knew my time was coming to an end and my job was done. Remember when you started giving my kind gems to strangers? Well it didn’t go unnoticed. The more you gave the more I withered. But for good reason. My purpose was to give YOU purpose and you fulfilled both our destinies...GOD has decided my GLORIOUS book is done and it’s your turn to do the same. You flipped through your pages of your life and finally learned to understand the meaning and the mystery of we are still living on this earth. I hope you enjoy your assignment as much as I enjoyed mine....until we meet again Mary”

Once I finished the book it closed by itself and a new black book emerged. It opened...the first page then started to glow and my face started to appear. Puzzled I looked up and where i was started to disappear. Nothing was left but me and the new black book. After my face fully formed the page flipped and I saw a beautiful newborn come into this world. A voice said to me “ It is now your turn to be a guardian angel and your assignment is here. Take your time with this one because they’re sure going to need you. Guide them and protect them. Teach them all the gems that was taught to you. Make sure you show up when they least suspect it. May your journey with them be as fulfilling as my journey was with you. By the way..its Mary and I’m only a halo and wings away.

The new book closed, I disappeared and the newborn let out its first cry.