Improving My Reflection

My morning routine is probably less involved that most peoples. I am just trying to accomplish the basics. I'm awake. Check. I've showered. Check. I've brushed my teeth. Check. I've brushed my hair. Check. Well, if I am truly being honest, I work from home, so no I probably didn't brush my hair. That will come later in the day. But I did brush my teeth. I've checked myself in the mirror. I'm ready for the day.

I think deeply about my morning routine. I'm pondering all the things I have worked so hard on this morning. All these things are necessary but at the same time very shallow. They are based on a superficial belief of how I want the world to see me on any one particular day.

The one thing I cannot check in the mirror, however is the essence of me. The core of my being. I want my inside beauty to match what I am reflecting on the outside.

As I try to wrap my mind around my inner being I am reminded of an old Michael Jackson song "Man in the Mirror". It spoke to being able to recognize those around you with less and still being able to see them as whole. It spoke of doing what you could to make someone else's life a little better. But most importantly it spoke of the lesson the entire world needs to hear right now "If they want to make the world a better place; Take a look at yourself and then make a change".

So, I looked and asked myself “Am I a good person?”

Wow that is a tough question to answer, honestly, but allow me try.

What defines a "good person"? I think I know. But I am human, so if I used my own beliefs to judge my own behaviors, well I would win every time.

One would think that this term was subject to one's own interpretation. However, as I learned from Google tonight, there actually is a definition of a good person. So I have created a scale and I will see where I land. With a little bit of humor and a little bit of luck I will find out that I am "good". If I am there, is no room for improvement. If I fall short, I will know there is work left to do.

A good person is polite. Hmmm. Am I polite? I'm going to give myself a seven in this category. I use please and thank you and when I forget to, I apologize. I don't cut in lines. I let people with less items go in front of me in the grocery store. If I see people who seem to need help, I offer where I can. However, on the flip side of the coin I sometimes cut people off when they are talking. I am sometimes short with my mother or others. I am often overtly sarcastic. But, most importantly I am an aggressive eye roller. In my formative years on a hundred percent scale a seventy was a pass. Yay! However, there is definite room for improvement.

A good person respects others. Hmm. Do I respect others? In this category I am going to give myself another seven. I'm no Mother Teresa but I'm not out spitting on the homeless either. I would like to think that I respect others but as the words fall from my mouth to my page, I'm not so sure. I think in my head the things that have previously come out of my mouth, I realize that I may have been generous in giving myself a seven. In self-preservation, I won't change my own rating but I will know there is plenty of room for improvement.

A good person treats others as they want to be treated. I'm solid in this area, a solid eight. No one is perfect. There are times when I fall short. I am kind, mostly, I am. As I write my words, I want desperately to defend myself. I know that the times that I have not been kind, it’s because "he did that" or "they said this" or some other outside influence. The truth is that just because they choose the lowest rung on a ladder, doesn't mean that I need to join them. I am not responsible for them, I am responsible for myself.

This writing is not about them. It’s about me and what I intend to do to foster kindness and inclusion.

The answer is simple, take a look in the mirror, and work on myself.

I believe that by being more focused on being polite I will not just change those things about myself that raise my "polite score", I will change the reaction of others toward me. I will extend my politeness not just toward my inner circle of friends and family and coworkers. I will extend my politeness toward the external world. I'll smile a little more. I'll remember to use please and thank. I'll remember to be a little more patient. Most importantly I will remember to watch my tone and my words. My positive interactions are sure to impact the world around me.

Going forward into 2022, I will not just respect others but I will respect myself. I will remember that each and every person that interacts with me is deserving of being treated with kindness and respect. Even if those around me are not engaging in this practice, I will not stoop to their level. As part of giving respect, I will try to keep my sarcasm and eye rolls to a minimum. In honesty, as I say that I roll my eyes. As I know there will be opportunities that I will not be able to resist.

I will continue to treat others as they wish to be treated. I am not going to treat this as a twelve-step program and go and "right my wrongs". As I know in the core of my being, that if you previously saw my wrath, or me at less than my best, you probably somewhat deserved it.

This will be a challenge in strength. It will be a challenge in stamina. It will be a daily challenge, where some days may be harder than others. I believe that if I fix myself, it will have a positive impact on my life. More importantly, it will have a positive impact on the lives of those people around me.

Truly good people accept others exactly as they are. That will be my goal.