I’m Not Difficult — I Just Have Standards Now

People don’t want to say it outright — but you feel it.

When you start speaking up, setting boundaries, saying “no” without explaining it ten different ways...

suddenly you’re “hard to deal with.”

I wasn’t always like this.

In fact, I used to be really easy.

Easy to please. Easy to walk over. Easy to ignore.

I didn’t complain. I avoided conflict. I played nice, even when I was disappointed. And guess what? Not many people had a problem with me back then.

Because that version of me was convenient.

Now that I ask for what I need, hold space for myself, and no longer smile through discomfort... I'm “difficult.”

But I’m not difficult.

I just have standards now. And I’m no longer shrinking to be digestible.

🔹 1. Being liked used to matter more than being respected

I used to believe that being low-maintenance made me lovable.

So I got quiet instead of honest, agreeable instead of authentic.

I thought if I was flexible enough, forgiving enough, soft enough — people would stay.

And they did.

But I didn’t.

Because in keeping them close, I lost touch with myself.

People liked me because I made their lives easier — not because I was being real.

Now, I value respect more than likability. If I have to choose, I’ll choose me.

🔹 2. Standards are not demands — they’re self-respect in action

Having standards doesn’t mean I expect perfection from others.

It just means I no longer tolerate repeated disrespect, emotional inconsistency, or being someone's afterthought.

It means I want communication — not games.

Consistency — not confusion.

Presence — not performance.

If asking for that makes me “too much,” that says more about you than it does about me.

🔹 3. Some people only liked the version of me that didn’t ask for more

The reality is, many people prefer the version of you who lacks boundaries.

They loved me when I said “It’s fine” even when it wasn’t.

When I made excuses for their behavior.

When I interpreted their silence as “they must be busy” instead of “they don’t care.”

But as I grew, those people got uncomfortable.

Because now, when something hurts me — I say it.

When something isn’t enough — I leave.

When someone’s energy is off — I pause.

And that doesn’t make me hostile. It makes me awake.

🔹 4. Letting go of being easy isn’t bitterness — it’s clarity

I’m not walking around angry at the world.

I’m just finally clear on what I need. And what I’m no longer willing to allow.

That clarity may sound like coldness to those who benefited from my confusion.

People will say “Oh, you’ve changed” — and I have.

But not to become combative. To become conscious.

Softer inside, wiser outside.

That balance didn’t come easy — and I’m not giving it up just to seem agreeable again.

🔹 5. I don’t need to apologize for not being convenient anymore

The pressure to be “easy-going” made me bend until I broke.

But those days are gone.

I don’t owe anyone convenience at the cost of my own peace.

I don’t have to show up available, understanding, or emotionally generous for people who choose inconsistency or disrespect.

Now, I show up for myself first.

So when I ask for things, it’s not entitlement.

It’s alignment.

🎯 Final Thoughts

I’m not difficult because I want more — I'm just not tolerating the bare minimum anymore.

There was a time I would’ve softened this article with apologies.

I would’ve said, “Not to sound rude,” or, “Of course, I have my problems too.”

Not today.

Because I’ve spent too long diluting myself in the name of being liked.

And I’m finally okay with taking up space.

I’m not hard to love.

I just know how I deserve to be loved now.

And if that’s inconvenient... so be it.