I'm Incurable

If you've read my other story, you know all about 'B'. I'm going to continue with keeping the names obscure because it's safer that way. Now, B and I, at this point, have been split for about six months. We're into May, now. I went on an awesome date with this guy named K.

K was everything I was looking for. He also had a son, so I was excited that it would make me having a son that much easier. Being a single mother in the dating world is extremely difficult, how could it get much harder, you ask? Stay tuned to find out!

Well, K and I didn't last long. Apparently I made him uncomfortable somehow? He never did elaborate and I didn't give him the chance. I did mention maybe I could bring my son along on our second date because we had planned to go to the fucking Zoo. I figured hey, I won't have to fork over 40 bucks for a baby sitter! Well, that turned him off. I get it, you didn't want to meet my son that early, that's fine. Anyhow. It's funny, I told B about K and B freaked out. He stopped by my house, crying his eyes out, wanting another chance. I told him no. Not after all of the shit he put me through. I told him I didn't know what would happen in the future.

Well, he insinuated I had sex with K, even though I did not. He insinuated many rude things about me because he didn't get his way-such is B's personality. I didn't like that too much however, and therefore we stopped talking for a while there.

Next up was someone we will call 'J'. J and I hit it off shortly after K and I broke up. J was everything I wanted and sure, he had his hangups, but I was willing to accept them. He was scared to leave his house. He lived in a little studio room in a hotel. I accepted that, after all, I live in a travel trailer. I accepted that he needed a little more understanding. We talked for an entire month before we decided to get official. On the third date, I brought F to see him. F is my son, if I didn't disclose earlier. They got along great and I finally began to look up to the future.

J came with conditions, as I stated earlier. One of those was a 45 minute to an hour drive to see him. I didn't mind this. However, as soon as we had become official, the very next week right after my birthday, he ended it with me. He told me it wasn't fair of me to have to drive to see him and it wasn't fair of me to have to deal with his mental problems.

I was thinking to myself, well.. of course. Here we go again. I'm simply not good enough yet again. Well, so he was history. He even blocked me on all social media after I told him he was like everyone else who has used me in the past. He couldn't handle the truth.

Now, after him, about a month later was a man we will call 'Jay'. That's not his name, but it's close enough. Jay and I clicked instantly. I thought, wow, this guy totally gets my nerdy humor. He was the ultimate nerd. He had Slytherin tattoos, all of that and I was digging every bit of it. If only I had paid attention to the red flags he threw out there in the mean time.

The first red flag was him telling me he loved me within the first week of talking. I gave it a chance though, because I did an ugly thing and judged him a particular way about his personality. I figured that's just who he was and that maybe we just fit that way. Love at first sight and all of that. Well, that being said, our first date should have been a fucking clue.

We went to a Pepitos in a city that's about an hour from me, but close to where he lives. This annoyed me because here I am, being the one doing all the driving again. I ended up paying. And the entire time he's telling me about his ex who stopped by to get her stuff and supposedly tried to fuck him. (keep that in the back of your mind, we will get back to that later)

She was blowing up his phone supposedly and that she knew he was out on a date with me etc. Well, we went to a bar then and that was all fine and dandy. I met his friends, we had some drinks, he paid for a portion of the drinks finally. I'm talking 18.00 out of 36.00. I don't mind paying, what I mind is all the shit that came afterwards.

We shared a kiss or two, made out a little, had a blast. Well, our next date was planned, but there was the hurricane. So a week later we finally meet up again and I'm to go to his house. We planned it, after a week of not seeing each other and our whirl-wind romance was becoming rather steamy over the text-exchange.

I went there. And it was the worst mistake of my fucking life.

His house was rather dark when I showed up. I couldn't see much, but I went back to his room where I knew he was at. He immediately pounced on me. That's the only way I can describe it. I had anticipated we would be intimate, but I had been told he would make love to me, not get as rough as he did.

He definitely had his hand around my throat and so I did the same to him. He also smelled horrible. His breath smelled like pure death. He was rough enough to leave bruise prints on my fucking thigh, that's how rough he was. My hair was pulled to the point some of it came out. I was a little confused. This wasn't what he talked about. This wasn't what I had imagined.

He finished. As soon as we stopped he got up and barely pulled his pants on before he began to load a gun. I'm not even completely dressed and I'm absolutely freaked the fuck out. What the fuck did he need that for? He said, "We have to go get mice, I never leave the house without my gun."

Mkay. Well. You probably shouldn't pull out a fucking gun and load it right after you have sex with someone for the first time. Needless to say, my head is spinning and I'm scared. Next thing I know, I'm crying. He did unload the gun, but mind you, I specifically remember there being a round in the chamber too. Was that a necessary thing to bring? He told me then, "If we get hijacked, it's your fucking fault."

I was like sure whatever, at least the gun is gone. So we go get mice and I'm in my own head, wondering if I was going to make it home to my son. He spent about twenty minutes in the pet store and then we went back to his place. He fed his snakes and another red flag was I noticed his house. I actually took a second to look around. It was a god damn disaster. Beer bottles everywhere. Trash everywhere. Dishes hadn't been done in several days and stunk to high-heaven. I was completely disgusted.

I tried to busy myself with actually cleaning his house. I was scared to dip out. He ended up wanting to have sex again and I was too afraid to say no. So we did it again. And then we were watching a movie on his couch. He ordered food for us. I could barely eat, but I managed. My stomach was too nervous. He literally wanted to go AGAIN. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? I asked if I could just give him oral because I wasn't really in the mood. He said sure, at first. All of a minute of that and he told me to get on the bed. It wasn't a request, it was an order. So I went. This time, he wasn't wearing a condom. He had worn a condom all of the other times and I was so scared that I didn't even notice he wasn't wearing one. Well, he definitely finished inside of me.

Afterwards, we showered, but there was nothing to dry off with. I noticed other creepy shit about his place. A wallet empty and the contents strewn about. His toilet had some kind of rusty red stuff all over the front, I kept thinking.. please don't be blood of some kind.

I went to make a run for it, but I was sitting on his bed, dressed and he said "What are you doing out there? You didn't leave, I hope?" And the tone he said it in is what gave me another flag. I felt my heart racing. I said, "You know, I really should go home to my son..." and he got out of the shower, I was out in the livingroom then and he said to me, "Yeah, that's fine because I have some work friends coming over and I don't think you want to meet them yet." I was like you're fucking right I don't. I all but ran out that door after he asks, "You're not running away are you?" HA. Yes, yes I was. I came home and I cried all of the way home. I confronted him about it.

I confronted him about the way he acted with me that day and how it wasn't at all what he promised. I told him how he physically hurt me and how afraid I'd been. He told me I was full of shit and that I was reading too much into it and making problems where they didn't need to be made.

Well, two days after that, I ended up having severe burning when I peed. I went and got tested, and sure as shit, I ended up testing positive for HSV-2. That's Herpes, for those of you who don't know.

He told me it was bullshit when I told him. That I couldn't have gotten it from him because he got tested before we had sex and that it wouldn't test positive. This was back before I had my results. He told me anyone could have given it to me, but I fucking knew. You know how you just know in the pit of your stomach? Yeah. I knew it was from him. He knew it too.

He was extremely belligerent with me. He would tell me I owe him an apology and that he would get tested-which he admitted after my results were positive that he never did go get the test he said he'd gotten. He lied then and said he went to the er and got his results right away and that he didn't have anything.

How do I know it was a lie? Well, I contacted his ex. I told her she needed to get tested because as I contacted her, I told her about my experience. First of all, remember earlier how he said she tried to fuck him? They DID have sex. And it was him who initiated. Also, she ended up testing positive too. FOR HSV 2. Go fucking figure, right?

Now, all of a sudden he went off on me for contacting his ex. How dare I, etc etc. He was so hurtful and rude about it and I thought to myself, gee, where's all of that "I love you" talk he was spewing on about before all of this?

I also learned that he told his ex I was some whore he met at the bar and that I was batshit crazy and that I was the obsessed acting one. Unlucky for him, I saved all of his texts. I showed her exactly how full of shit he was.

Needless to say, I do not talk to him. I told him to get a life and to never ever contact me again. I wanted that nightmare over with. I now had an STD that I will have forever. The kicker? He sent me a message about a month ago telling me he really liked me and was sad things went as they did and that if I ever changed my mind about him to contact him. The balls on this guy, I mean, really? Why the fuck would I ever go back to him?

Now, remember B from the other story? I told him about all of this, of course. We grew closer as friends. I confessed I still had some feelings for him etc. Well, guess what? He was seeing someone else. Had been for a couple of months. Right after my birthday, in fact. Ironic, right?

I sometimes think I'm doomed to be alone forever. But, given my luck, I'm kind of glad for it. When I'm in a relationship, I only ever end up hurt. Better off without that drama.

What's sad is B, and Jay... they're not even the first overly destructive shit I've been through. Next I'll start from the beginning. With S.