I Failed 12 Times Before This Worked

And weirdly, I’m glad I did.

Let me just say it straight — I didn’t win on the first try. Or the second. Or even the fifth. I failed twelve freaking times before anything actually worked. Twelve. As in… one short of thirteen. And each time, it chipped away at me a little more.

The kind of failure that doesn’t just bruise your ego — it makes you question if you’re even built for this. Whatever “this” is. The dream, the goal, the version of yourself you swear you’re becoming.

I remember sitting in my room after the eighth failed attempt — lights off, laptop open, face in my hands — thinking, “Maybe I’m just not that person.” You know, the one who finishes things. The one who follows through. The one who doesn’t quit.

Turns out, I wasn’t broken.

I just hadn’t learned how to stay when it got hard.

I Was Addicted to the High of Starting

Here’s the thing I didn’t realize back then: I loved starting things. That rush of a new idea, the dopamine hit of a blank notebook or fresh Notion page — that was my jam.

But the middle?

The messy, unsexy, confusing middle?

Yeah, I bailed every time.

I’d write for two weeks and stop. Try a new habit and drop it. Launch something and delete it after a few quiet days.

I kept convincing myself that maybe that idea wasn’t “the one,” when in reality — I just hadn’t given anything the time to grow.

Failure #12 Hit Different

It wasn’t the biggest failure. Or the most dramatic. It didn’t even cost me much.

But something about that twelfth attempt broke something in me — or maybe it woke something up. I remember closing my laptop and muttering out loud:

“I’m so tired of quitting on myself.”

Not even dramatically. Just truthfully. Almost like my soul was exhausted.

That moment wasn’t flashy. No epiphany. No violin music playing in the background. Just a stillness. And in that stillness, a quiet decision:

Try one more time. But this time, stay.

What Finally Worked — And Why

I didn’t stumble on some magic formula or revolutionary hack. What finally worked wasn’t flashy at all.

It was boring.

Painfully simple.

Discipline.

Gross, I know. But I started small. I picked one project, gave myself no exit plan, and committed to showing up regardless of the feedback, numbers, or mood swings.

This time, I told myself I wasn’t allowed to quit just because it felt slow. Or uncomfortable. Or hard.

I stopped chasing results and started keeping tiny promises to myself — day by day, page by page, rep by rep. And slowly, things started clicking. Not all at once, but enough to keep going.

Here’s What Failing 12 Times Taught Me

I used to see failure as proof that I wasn’t good enough. Now? I see it as training.

Every failed attempt sharpened something. Patience. Clarity. Resilience. A little more self-awareness. A little less ego.

I learned that:

Consistency is louder than motivation.

Quitting doesn’t always mean you're weak — but staying when it’s hard? That’s strength.

It’s not about how you start. It’s about who you become while you keep trying.

I stopped obsessing over outcomes and started trusting the process. Because the truth is, the breakthrough only shows up after you've earned it.

Failure Isn’t the Opposite of Success — It’s the Path To It

Look, I know how it feels when you keep showing up and nothing seems to move. When you’re three months into something and still stuck in the same spot. When it feels like everyone else is winning while you’re on your sixth restart.

But here’s the realest thing I’ve learned:

You don’t get to skip the messy middle.

That’s where the becoming happens. The part where you build discipline, identity, belief. Where you get stronger without even realizing it.

I used to think failure was a sign to stop. Now I see it as a checkpoint.

A whisper that says, "Okay, that didn’t work — now try smarter."

Final Thoughts (And a Heartfelt Nudge

If you’re in your 3rd, 5th, or 11th failure — I see you. I know how heavy it can feel. I know how tempting it is to walk away before it hurts more.

But listen… you’re not broken. You’re becoming.

Every failed attempt is shaping you into the version of yourself that’s actually ready for the win.

So if this article hit you in the chest a little — if it made you pause or reflect — do me a favor:

👉 Like it. Share it with someone who needs a reminder that they’re not behind.

And if you’re on your own “failure #12” right now, follow or subscribe — let’s figure this out together.

No more perfect starts. Just real ones.

Messy. Gritty. Human. Worth it.

Keep showing up. Especially when it’s hard. That’s where the shift happens. 💭💪✨