Humans can’t get along

I think when you look at all the wars, both past and current, it's pretty clear that us humans have a hard time getting along with each other. Despite all the progress which has been made towards peace, we still see so many conflicts going on across the world. We are of the same specie, yet it seems like we take so much pleasure in harming each other. We all share the same emotions, intelligence, desires, hopes and wishes, yet it seems like based on where you are born on the planet, you are a totally different person from someone born elsewhere. You won’t like anyone harming your loved ones, yet you are willing to harm those of others, you won’t want anyone taking from you, yet you are willing to take from everybody else.

The roots of disagreement

Humans have a natural instinct to disagree with each other written in their DNA, there was a time when we were all competing for the same resources and where its only the strongest who were able to get their way. Deep down in our being we are always in competition with each other even when there are enough resources for everyone, it's a survival instinct ingrained into us by evolution.

Why do you think people always resort to violence whenever they disagree with each other ? No matter where you look in the world, you are always going to find a violent person, it can’t be a coincidence.

Disagreement is a natural instinct

Resources are always very limited and so we are in competition with each other, the only resource I can think of which is unlimited right now is the air we breathe, that’s why you don’t see people fighting for it. For everything else, people are in a permanent competition with each other for, even something as simple as water. Nations fight with each other for territory, dominance, ideas, individuals are ready to go to war with each other over a piece of bread. Competition is our natural instinct, and it often leads us into disagreements with each other. Other factors play a role in all this, things such as; beliefs, ego, pride, communication, and even our emotions.

Divergent beliefs

We are found in very different environments and we’ve all had to make sense of the reality we live in. For some this has been one of happy moments while for others it has been hardships all the way, and since our experiences shape our beliefs, we’ve all ended up having a different mindset from each other creating inevitably differences in our worldviews. When people don’t have the same perception of the world, disagreements are just a natural consequence, you can’t agree on what reality is or should be. You eventually end up in conflicts with each other about what and how things should work in the world. The beliefs of a person born in a metropolitan town where he’s had to fend for himself is going to be drastically different than that of a person born in a small supportive neighborhood where everyone knows themselves.

There are many reasons which lead to global conflicts such as; resource competition, ideological clashes, nationalism and power dynamics, historical grievances, miscommunication etc. In the rest of this article I want to focus on why individuals can’t get along.

Conflicts between individuals

At a smaller scale the reasons why we can’t get along are quite different, you have things like; Ego & pride, differences in values, emotional baggage, poor communication, perceived inequity etc These all contribute to us fighting with one another sometimes over very petty things which would be resolved in every other scenario. This natural tendency to disagree with each other was identified long ago by our forefathers and they did strive to come up with solutions to fix this problem, they realized that if we were going to develop as a specie then we needed to find ways to work together and come to the same understanding and the fact that you can read this article and agree with me from the other side of the globe is a testament of their success.

Fixing the problem

Those who came before us clearly saw that it was going to be a problem if we weren’t able to work together, so they designed a system where we could understand each other and so collaborate with one another. It started with education, then you had systems of governance, religion, technology, legal systems, treaties, diplomacy and much more which were all designed to reduce the amount of conflicts between us. Take for example a country which doesn’t have a system of governance, basically that would just be a country with tribes which hate each other but with a system of governance in place, even people who hate each other can work together for their common interests. Our predecessors understood that we weren’t going to get along no matter what, so they worked tirelessly to put these systems in place, another good example is the legal system, how many court cases do you have on a daily basis over disputes sometimes which don’t even make sense, but without such a system the country might fall apart.

The same goes for individuals, in order to enhance the collaboration between individuals, our predecessors came up with strategies to reduce competition and foster collaboration instead. If you put two persons in a room with limited resources, they automatically fight for those resources and the thought of even collaborating to make more resources would not even cross their minds. The same is happening right now in the world, it seems like everybody is fighting for the same resources as you and without those systems in place, we would be at each others necks. Some examples of those strategies to enhance individuals collaboration are; Education, social norms, codes of conduct, contracts, agreements, pledges etc Think about it, in your collaboration with others, what guarantees to you that they are not going to extort you ? It isn’t just the fact that you trust them but there are systems in place which prevent them from doing so that’s why they don’t and you feel confident, whether its social norms, the legal system or signed agreements. There is a context where this doesn’t apply and sometimes you see a lot of trouble, for example with family and friends. Even people born from the same womb and who received the same education can end up competing with each other to the extent of a fight. So if brothers can fight, do you think there is anyone on earth you can’t disagree with?

Conclusion

We have a natural inclination to disagree with each other mainly because we are all in a permanent competition for the same resources. Those who came before us already saw this problem and devised strategies to deal with it efficiently, no need to try and reinvent the wheel, you can just make use of these strategies to avoid falling into the same problems. It would be a mistake to think that your charm and grit will be sufficient for you to get along with everybody you meet, I advice you rather make use of these strategies to guarantee there would be no problems with everybody you meet.

Thanks for reading ☺️

If you enjoyed the article, you could support by buying me a coffee.