How To Stop Obsessive Thoughts

In this article, I explore how to stop thinking about something that obsesses you. I start by defining what these thoughts are, discuss the common strategies people use to control them, and then focus on what truly works.

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts are unwelcome ideas or images that suddenly enter your mind, often causing discomfort and are difficult to control. When these thoughts become repetitive and cause distress, they are known as obsessions.

Imagine this: you’re going about your day, whether at home or out for a walk, when out of nowhere, an unsettling thought or image pops into your mind. It’s involuntary and makes you feel uneasy. Has that ever happened to you?

My Mind Thinks Things I Don’t Want to Think

Everyone experiences intrusive thoughts from time to time, and they can be completely harmless.

However, some thoughts can be disturbing and lead to discomfort.

Intrusive thoughts can be ego-dystonic, meaning they conflict with a person’s values or self-image. They may seem unacceptable to the person experiencing them, triggering irrational interpretations like, "These thoughts aren’t normal," or "Having these thoughts means something bad will happen." These interpretations, combined with attempts to suppress the thoughts, often lead to obsessions.

Sometimes, the thoughts focus on something significant to the individual, such as violence, aggression, or sexuality, and are triggered by external cues.

Obsessions, Worries, And Ruminations

It’s important to differentiate between three similar types of thoughts: obsessions, worries, and ruminations.

Obsessions are intrusive, repetitive thoughts, images, or impulses that are unwanted and difficult to control. People often try to manage these thoughts but usually without success.

Worries involve thoughts about potential future events, where negative outcomes are anticipated, and solutions are sought. While worry can be adaptive if it helps solve problems, it can spiral out of control, leading to endless thoughts about catastrophic scenarios.

Ruminations focus on past events, such as mistakes made, losses suffered, or missed opportunities. This type of thinking is often accompanied by self-critical evaluations.

For this discussion, I focus on obsessions and worries.

Why Do We Have Obsessions Or Worries?

While obsessions and worries are different, they are both closely linked to anxiety—a natural emotion that can become problematic when it exceeds certain limits.

Anxiety can be triggered by various factors, including biological predispositions, stressful life experiences, trauma, and personality traits. One significant cause of anxiety is how we interpret life events and whether we view worry as a coping mechanism.

Everyone experiences worry or intrusive thoughts at some point, but the problem arises in how we respond to them. If we believe that worrying helps us prepare for potential problems, these thoughts may persist because they seem useful. On the other hand, if we view intrusive thoughts as dangerous or unacceptable and try to suppress them, they often return with greater intensity.

The behaviors we engage in to manage these thoughts, such as excessive checking or reassurance-seeking, can reinforce the obsessive thinking pattern and increase anxiety.

How To Stop Thinking About Something That Obsesses You

To stop obsessive thoughts, consider the following strategies:

Put Thoughts into Perspective: Recognize that an intrusive thought is just that—a thought, not a fact. Having such thoughts doesn’t define you as a person.

Avoid Suppression: Telling yourself to "stop thinking about this" is ineffective. Research shows that trying to suppress thoughts only makes them stronger.

Change Maintaining Behaviors: Identify and gradually reduce behaviors that reinforce obsessions, such as excessive hand-washing or constantly checking your appearance in the mirror.

Address Avoidant Behaviors: If your obsession doesn’t have a clear behavior linked to it, identify what you do mentally when the thought arises (e.g., distraction, self-talk, suppression).

Work on not engaging in these avoidant behaviors and instead accept the thought without magnifying its importance.

Accept and Experience the Thought: Allow the thought to be present without reacting to it. Understand that it’s normal to have strange thoughts sometimes, and they will pass on their own.

How To Stop Thinking About Something Negative (Or Worrying Thoughts)

Some of the strategies for managing obsessions can also be applied to worries, with a few additional techniques:

Challenge Negative Predictions: When worrying about the future, recognize that you may be overestimating the likelihood of negative outcomes.

Ask yourself, "How likely is this to happen? What evidence do I have? Is worrying about this helpful right now?"

Examine Your Beliefs About Worry: Reflect on what you believe about worrying. Do you think it’s uncontrollable? Have you ever been able to control it? Start observing how you react to challenges in your life and consider how worrying impacts your ability to deal with them.

Find Alternatives to Worry: Engage in activities that are incompatible with worry. If the problem has a solution, focus on problem-solving—define the issue, explore solutions, and choose the best course of action.

Seek Professional Help If Needed

If your thoughts and worries are overwhelming, causing significant anxiety or limiting your daily life, it’s important to seek help from a health professional like a doctor, psychologist, or psychiatrist.

They can assess your situation and provide appropriate treatment.