How To Save A Relationship In A Crisis

Is your relationship in crisis? We bring some ideas and reflections that can help you to prevent this shipwreck.

Problems in a relationship are very common. All relationships go through conflicts of some kind, and it is these that determine whether the bond is prolonged or ends up dissolving. Saving a relationship in crisis can be difficult, as it is only possible with the commitment of both parties. After all, it is impossible for a relationship to recover if only one party wants this to happen.

Before we show you some tips to save a relationship in crisis, keep in mind that you must learn to identify when it is convenient to take a step back. Making a thorough assessment of the pros and cons of continuing with him or her, at the end of stability, respect and the project of life together, should be your starting point. Only then will they make sure they do what's best for both of you.

Tips to save a relationship in crisis

The first thing to keep in mind is that there is no magic recipe for saving a relationship in crisis. Every relationship is different, so each of them has its roadmap to avoiding shipwreck.. It is true that we can establish certain patterns in common that mediate the deterioration and conflicts that arise halfway.

We leave you with some ideas that can be very useful.

1. Identify what the real problem is

As experts point out, the couple's agreement regarding the problems underlying the bond predicts the commitment and positive outcomes of couples therapy. When both parties agree with the reasons that have led their relationship to a state of crisis, they can establish goals and processes of change that lead to a strengthening of the bond.

This is impossible when the causes and motives of the conflict differ between the two parties. Although there must be a mutual agreement, the truth is that reflection must begin in private. That is, meditate for yourself on what are the obstacles, problems, vicissitudes and causes that have led to your relationship is in crisis. Then, talk to your partner and try to objectively establish the causes of it.

2. Assume your share of responsibility

Often in a couple of conflicts, two things happen: you choose to reject that your own actions are part of the problem (which results in accusing the other) or to assume completely that you are solely responsible for the conflict. Both attitudes are equally wrong since the only valid option is to assume the share of responsibility that each one has. No more, no less.

This requires many things: maturity, commitment to the relationship, objectivism, and introspection about what has been said or done in the past. If responsibility is not taken for certain actions, if they are not recognized, then it is impossible for changes to apply in the present that will prevent conflict from arising again in the future for the same reasons.

3. Put pathological jealousy aside

Not all conflict begins with jealousy, although many of them do. Evidence indicates that pathological jealousy is indicative of dissatisfaction, and this can lead to episodes of crisis.

It is pertinent to distinguish the nature of jealousy since these are not always related to something bad. There are healthy jealousies, those that are a symptom of attachment and appreciation for the other.

Healthy jealousy has to do with concern for the relationship and is a natural consequence of attachment. Pathological jealousy does just the opposite: it destroys both one's relationship and the individuals who are part of it. You cannot save a relationship in crisis without first meditating if you have reached this point because of jealousy taken to the extreme.

4. Establishes autonomy in the relationship

Commitment in a relationship does not imply that everything that is done revolves around it. Nor that interpersonal relationships with others or with oneself are neglected. Experts have found that individuality is very important for couple satisfaction. This goes through many things, among them we highlight:

Have opinions and ideas of their own.

Share time with friends, family and colleagues.

Do things alone.

Disagree within the relationship (you can't and don't have to agree on everything).

Having time and space away from the relationship.

Certainly, a relationship is a bond between at least two people, without this implying that the character of individuality is lost. When this happens, it will most likely lead to frustration, anguish, boredom and a prevailing need to flee from it. Create a space and channels to share with yourself and those around you.

5. Practice forgiveness

Another tip to save a relationship in crisis is to practise true forgiveness. Certainly, forgiveness is distributed today without a true intention; something that inevitably leads to resentment, resentment, and animosity or enmity. As experts point out, forgiveness must be oriented to the well-being of the other person above one's own.

Self-forgiveness should also be practised, in relation to things that have been said or done in the past and that have affected the relationship. Forgiving takes time, so it's something you should start cultivating in the first steps of your journey to save a relationship in crisis. It requires empathy, otherness, consideration and understanding.

6. Be open and sincere

Another of the core practices to save a frayed relationship is to be completely open and sincere about the other and the relationship itself. It is impossible to consolidate a solid and stable relationship on the basis of lies.

Be honest about your intentions in the relationship, your future projections, your longings, the changes you want to incorporate and what you don't like.