How To Make Friends in Your 20s

I'm nearly half way through my 20s. It won't be long until I'll be approaching the big three-oh. But, why does this have an affect on how I make friends? Why can't I seem to make any new friends?

Growing up, making friends was easy. As a child it was second nature to me, just a quick "Hey, want to be my friend?" to the girl who's pink and sparkly headband I wanted, seemed to be enough. She'd reply with a, "Heck yes," and boom, we'd be friends until the Earth stopped spinning. But, if I was to do this now, in my 20s, it would be construed as weird, or a least, slightly peculiar.

I kept two friends from school, and three from university. A grant total of five friends. The only trouble is, when I went to university I left my two friends in my hometown, and when I finished university, the three friends I had made left me to move back to their hometowns leaving me completely friendless and as I very much value them over quality, rather than quantity, I chose to keep all five friends and not make any new ones.

This now means that, yes, I speak to my best best best friends every day on the phone, but I do not have any friends to grab a quick cuppa with.

This wasn't something that originally bothered me as for the first few years I was so caught up in my job that as soon as I got home I'd make dinner and then pass out on the sofa. I had no time. However, I now work from home as I quit my job to go freelance and be able to go wherever I wanted to go and not have just 27 days a year to do it in. I took the plunge, and man was it the best decision I ever made.

I now have the time to grab a cuppa or a wine with the girls. Only problem is, I don't have any girls here with me, they're scattered in different parts of the country. I have my best friend here with me, my boyfriend, but he's not always up for a cheeky wine and a gossip like the rest of the gang would be and when he's out grabbing a beer with the lads, I find myself craving that female face-to-face friendship.

I'm stubborn. I'm very much like my mum in the sense that I won't hang around with people just to say that I've got friends. I would rather spend an evening in, than spend it out with friends that I don't really like that much. That is why I have five female friends. I love them with all my heart, and no matter how many weeks, days and hours I spend with them, they never bore me.

But, it's got to the point now where I really want to go for a wine with the girls and have a tea or coffee at lunch. I really need to make new friends, and I have no idea how I go about that. How do I go about that?

I don't think I'm up for the whole "does this girl want to be my friend" debates in my head and pestering somebody new to ask if they want to come for a tea or coffee. I didn't think my anxiety in my twenties would be about making new friends, I thought it would be about the crisis of getting older.

How do you make friends when you have been so intent on not making new friends?