How to make a move on a guy at work

How to Make a Move on a Guy at Work: Ethical, Legal, and Professional Considerations

Workplace relationships can be complicated. If you're considering making a move on a guy at work, it's important to approach the situation with care, keeping in mind not just your own feelings but also the ethical and legal implications that come with office romances.

This article will guide you through how to make a move on a colleague, how to navigate potential challenges, and how to maintain professionalism throughout the process. We’ll also cover how to handle situations if things don’t go as planned, and address how to maintain work-life balance in a workplace relationship.

Body Language: The Subtle Art of Communication

When it comes to romantic gestures at work, your body language speaks volumes. Subtle cues, such as eye contact, smiles, and leaning in when having a conversation, can show interest without overstepping boundaries.

However, it's important to be aware of how these actions are perceived by the other person. A friendly gesture, like a casual touch on the arm or a compliment, can be seen as a sign of affection, but it's crucial to gauge the other person's comfort level.

If you're unsure, it’s always safer to avoid any physical contact. In some cultures, even small gestures like touching the arm or shoulder can be seen as inappropriate in a professional setting.

Pay attention to how the other person responds to your body language—if they reciprocate with similar actions, it might indicate mutual interest. If they pull away or seem uncomfortable, it’s important to respect their boundaries immediately.

Verbal Communication: Choosing the Right Words

Verbal communication can be just as important as body language. A friendly, professional tone paired with compliments that focus on work achievements rather than physical appearance is a safer route.

Complimenting someone's work ethic, accomplishments, or even their ability to problem-solve shows appreciation without crossing any lines.

Flirtation at work can be tricky. Avoid making suggestive or overly personal comments. Keep the conversation light, respectful, and related to work, especially in the beginning stages of getting to know each other.

If the other person seems receptive to these conversations, you can gradually test the waters by discussing more personal topics. However, keep in mind that the workplace is not the best setting for overtly flirtatious or intimate exchanges.

Indirect Approaches: Taking Things Slow

If you want to approach a guy at work without directly revealing your feelings, you can use indirect methods. Invite him to lunch or join a group of colleagues for after-work drinks.

This gives both of you the opportunity to interact in a more relaxed environment, away from the office. Keep it casual, and don’t make the situation feel pressured. Casual interactions in a group setting are often less risky and more acceptable in a professional environment.

However, even with indirect approaches, always be mindful of your workplace’s relationship policies.

Some companies have strict no-fraternization policies, particularly if one of you is in a supervisory role. Always check your company’s guidelines to avoid any potential conflicts of interest or violations of workplace rules.

Ethical and Legal Considerations: Know the Risks

Workplace relationships come with both ethical and legal risks. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with forming a relationship with a colleague, certain situations can lead to conflicts of interest, accusations of favoritism, or even harassment.

Harassment Laws and Company Policies

Harassment laws are designed to protect employees from unwanted advances or inappropriate behavior in the workplace. This includes verbal comments, body language, or any behavior that makes someone feel uncomfortable.

If you feel that the other person is not reciprocating your interest or seems uncomfortable, it’s important to respect their boundaries. In some cases, making unwanted advances can be considered harassment, which can result in disciplinary action or termination.

Before making a move, it's essential to familiarize yourself with your company’s policies. Many companies have no-fraternization policies that prohibit relationships between employees, especially when there’s a power imbalance (e.g., a supervisor dating a subordinate). Violating these policies can result in consequences such as demotion, reassignment, or termination.

If you're uncertain about your company’s stance on workplace relationships, consider seeking advice from HR. They can clarify the guidelines and help you understand what’s considered acceptable behavior in your workplace.

Handling Complications: What Happens If the Relationship Ends?

Not all relationships at work will result in a happily-ever-after. Sometimes, relationships end badly, which can create awkwardness, tension, or even resentment in the workplace. If this happens, it’s crucial to maintain professionalism at all times.

If the relationship is still impacting your ability to work with the person or if it creates tension with coworkers, consider speaking to HR for guidance. HR can help mediate conflicts and provide advice on how to move forward without disrupting the work environment. In some cases, it might be necessary to request a transfer to another department or project to avoid further issues.

Navigating Remote Work and Virtual Meetings

In today’s digital age, many workplace relationships are developing in virtual environments, where face-to-face cues are not as obvious. Virtual meetings, remote chats, and video conferences all offer new challenges for employees navigating office romances. It’s easy for communication to be misinterpreted in a virtual setting, so always keep your conversations professional and avoid any flirtation that could be misconstrued.

In remote settings, maintaining boundaries is even more critical. While it’s tempting to slip into more casual or personal conversations with colleagues, it’s important to remember that what might be acceptable in person can be misinterpreted over email or video calls. Keep communication respectful, and avoid sending messages outside of work hours unless it's necessary.

International Workplaces: Understanding Cultural Differences

Workplace relationship norms differ significantly across cultures. In some regions, such as parts of Europe, workplace relationships are more common and may be viewed as a personal matter. However, in other cultures, particularly in Asia, workplace dating may be frowned upon due to stricter boundaries between professional and personal lives.

In multinational companies, it’s important to be aware of cultural differences. For example, while in the United States, workplace relationships are often accepted as long as they don’t interfere with work, in countries like Japan or South Korea, dating in the office may be considered unprofessional. Understanding these differences and respecting cultural expectations will help you navigate office dynamics more effectively.

Rebuilding Trust After a Failed Relationship

If a relationship at work doesn’t work out, and especially if it causes tension among coworkers, rebuilding trust is essential. The first step is to be transparent and communicate with your coworkers. Acknowledge the situation without over-explaining, and make it clear that you are committed to maintaining a professional work environment.

Set clear boundaries and focus on your work to demonstrate that your personal relationship won’t affect your professional behavior. If the situation has become awkward, take the initiative to repair it by being kind, professional, and respectful toward your colleagues.

How to Handle a Situation If the Other Person Is Not Interested

If you’ve made a move and the person is not interested, it’s important to handle the situation gracefully. Acknowledge their response without making it awkward. Respect their decision and move forward with professionalism.

Don’t let the situation affect your behavior at work. Avoid any form of retaliation, gossip, or passive-aggressive actions. If necessary, seek advice from HR or a mentor to ensure that your actions remain professional.

Conclusion

Making a move on a guy at work requires thoughtfulness, respect for boundaries, and an understanding of the potential risks involved. Ethical and legal considerations should guide your actions, ensuring that you maintain professionalism throughout.

Keep in mind that workplace relationships can have consequences, both positive and negative. If handled correctly, they can flourish; however, if things go wrong, it’s important to navigate the fallout with maturity and professionalism.

By being aware of cultural differences, company policies, and maintaining respect for one another, you can approach workplace relationships with the right mindset.

Ultimately, maintaining a healthy work-life balance, respect for colleagues, and a focus on your career will always be the best approach when considering relationships at work.

Author expertise:

Michael B. Norris is a seasoned career coach and relationship expert with over 15 years of experience guiding professionals through workplace dynamics. He specializes in workplace relationships, career development, and leadership, offering practical advice backed by extensive research and real-world case studies