How to get over a breakup with someone you love

How to Get Over a Breakup with Someone You Love: A Personal Journey and Practical Guide

I still remember the day I felt my world shatter. After years of loving someone deeply, our relationship ended suddenly. The pain was overwhelming, but I knew I had to find a way to move forward. This article exists because I want you to know that healing is possible—and here’s how you can start, step by step.

How to Get Over a Breakup: 5 Practical Steps to Heal

Allow Yourself to Feel the Pain Fully

Don’t rush your emotions. Cry, be angry, or feel lost—this is part of healing. Suppressing feelings can prolong pain. As Dr. Anita Mehta, a clinical psychologist in Mumbai, explains, “Embracing your emotions honestly is the first step toward recovery.”

Cut Off Contact, Including Social Media Detox

Staying connected online or offline often keeps the wound fresh. Rahul, a 22-year-old college student from Delhi, shared, “I unfollowed her everywhere. No texts, no calls. It was hard, but it helped me breathe.”

Create New Routines and Focus on Self-Care

Breakups can disrupt your daily life. Rebuild by setting new goals—exercise, hobbies, or reconnecting with friends. Sita, an auto driver from Bangalore, told me, “I started waking up early and taking long walks. It cleared my mind.”

Seek Support—Talk to Friends, Family, or Professionals

Isolation deepens heartbreak. Whether it’s your best friend or a therapist, sharing your story helps. According to a 2023 study published in the Journal of Relationship Psychology, people who actively seek social support recover faster emotionally.

Reflect and Learn, But Avoid Ruminating

Understand what the relationship taught you without dwelling endlessly on what went wrong. Dr. Sarah Thompson, a relationship expert based in New York, advises, “Reflection is healing only when it leads to growth, not regret.”

Real Stories from Real People: Healing Across Cultures

Breakups are universal, but cultural norms influence how people cope.

Anjali, a college student from Mumbai:

“Here, family expectations can make it harder to openly grieve. I found writing in a journal was my safe space.”

Mike, a taxi driver in New York City:

“Back home, it’s normal to talk about feelings with your close friends. That kept me sane.”

Ravi, a software engineer from Bengaluru:

“In India, ghosting isn’t common, but social media stalking is. Cutting off online contact was the hardest but most freeing step.”

Understanding Different Breakup Types: Toxic vs. Mutual

Not all breakups are the same. Some involve abuse or emotional manipulation (toxic), while others are calm and mutual. Both require healing but may need different approaches.

For toxic breakups, safety and mental health take priority. Seek professional help immediately if you feel unsafe. Helplines such as the National Domestic Violence Helpline (India: 181, USA: 1-800-799-SAFE) offer confidential support.

Mutual breakups often allow for clearer closure but still cause pain. The steps above apply to both but tailor your healing to your unique situation.

The Science Behind Healing After Heartbreak

Psychological research shows that heartbreak activates the same brain regions as physical pain. According to Dr. Lucy Brown, neuroscientist at Columbia University, “Breakup distress is real pain, and like any pain, it needs time and care to heal.”

A 2022 survey by the American Psychological Association found that people who engaged in self-compassion practices recovered more quickly. Simple daily affirmations like “I deserve happiness” can rewire negative thinking patterns.

Modern Challenges: Ghosting and Social Media Detox

In today’s digital age, breakups often come with ghosting—being suddenly ignored without explanation—which can cause confusion and trauma.

Rahul, the Delhi student, shared, “When she stopped replying, it felt like I was left hanging in space.” Experts suggest writing unsent letters or expressing your feelings in a safe way to process this.

Social media can keep you trapped in the past. Experts recommend detoxing for at least 30 days to regain emotional balance.

Mental Health Resources for Support

Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

India:

National Mental Health Helpline: 1800-599-0019

Snehi India (Counseling): www.snehi.org

USA:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988

BetterHelp Online Therapy: www.betterhelp.com

These services offer confidential support and guidance during your toughest moments.

Cultural Nuances in Dating and Breakup Norms

In India, arranged marriages and family involvement add layers of complexity to breakups. Emotional expression might be more restrained, and social stigma about failed relationships can be strong.

In Western cultures, dating is often more casual, but public sharing of personal issues on social media can amplify emotional pain.

Recognizing these differences helps you contextualize your feelings and find culturally appropriate ways to heal.

Final Thoughts: Moving Forward with Compassion and Strength

Healing after loving and losing someone is never linear. It’s a journey marked by setbacks and breakthroughs. The most important thing I learned is to be kind to yourself and seek help when needed. Remember, you’re not alone—and every step forward is a victory.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the aftermath of a breakup, use the steps and resources here as a starting point. Healing is possible, and so is happiness beyond heartbreak.