How to get a girl to like you back in middle school

How to Get a Girl to Like You Back in Middle School

Middle school can be exciting, confusing, and full of questions—especially when it comes to crushes. You might like someone and wonder, “Does she like me back?” or “What can I do to make her notice me?” The good news is: you’re not alone. Many people your age feel the same way, and it’s totally normal to want to connect with someone special.

But getting a girl to like you back isn’t about trying to “win” her like a prize. It’s about building a real connection through respect, kindness, and understanding. Let’s walk through how you can do that—step by step.

💪 Step 1: Build Your Self-Confidence

Before you can expect someone else to like you, you need to like yourself. Confidence isn’t about being the loudest person in the room or acting like you’re better than others. It’s about being comfortable with who you are.

Ways to build confidence:

Take care of yourself. Dress in a way that makes you feel good, practice hygiene, and walk with your head held high.

Get involved. Join a club or team. When you try new things, you learn more about yourself.

Speak positively to yourself. Instead of saying “I’m not good enough,” try “I’m learning, and that’s okay.”

Pro Tip: Confidence doesn’t mean you never feel nervous—it means you try even when you are.

🧠 Step 2: Be a Good Listener

One of the most attractive traits—seriously—is being someone who listens. If you’re always talking about yourself, it might feel like you're not interested in the other person.

Try this:

Ask her questions about things she cares about.

Don’t interrupt when she’s talking.

Use body language—like nodding—to show you’re listening.

Example:

If she says, “I really like drawing,” instead of just saying “Cool,” you could ask, “What do you like to draw the most?”

Reflection Prompt: Think about the last time you had a conversation with someone. Did you really listen, or were you thinking about what you would say next?

🎨 Step 3: Find Shared Interests

It’s way easier to connect with someone when you have something in common. Shared hobbies or interests give you natural topics to talk about and enjoy together.

Some ideas:

If you both like a certain video game, movie, or sport, talk about it.

If she’s into something new to you, be curious! You might discover a cool new hobby.

Pro Tip: You don’t have to pretend to like what she likes—just be open to learning more.

🗣️ Step 4: Start a Genuine Conversation

The idea of starting a conversation can feel scary. But it doesn’t have to be perfect—it just has to be real.

Easy conversation starters:

“Hey, how was your weekend?”

“That project you made in art class was really cool.”

“What’s your favorite subject?”

Keep things light at first. Don’t jump straight into big feelings. Friendship is a great foundation.

Example:

One boy noticed a girl reading a graphic novel he liked. He said, “That book is awesome! Have you read the second one yet?” That one sentence turned into a full conversation.

Reflection Prompt: What’s one small thing you could say today to someone you’d like to get to know better?

💡 Step 5: Respect Boundaries

Everyone has their own comfort zone. Part of being mature is recognizing and respecting those boundaries.

What this means:

Don’t pressure her to text or talk when she’s not ready.

If she says she’s not interested, believe her—and don’t push.

Respect her space—physically and emotionally.

It might feel tough, but respecting her choices shows you care about her as a person, not just your feelings.

Pro Tip: Real connections come from mutual comfort—not pressure.

💔 Step 6: Learn to Handle Rejection

Sometimes, even if you try your best, the girl you like might not feel the same way. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough—it just means the timing or feelings weren’t right.

What to do:

Don’t take it personally. Everyone has different feelings.

Don’t lash out or say mean things.

Keep being kind—you never know what friendships can grow from honesty.

Example:

One student liked a girl who didn’t feel the same way. He said, “That’s okay. I hope we can still be cool.” Later, they ended up being great friends.

Reflection Prompt: How would you want someone to treat you if you weren’t interested in them?

🙋 Real Talk: What Girls Really Like

A lot of people think girls only like “popular” guys or ones who are super funny or athletic. But that’s not true for everyone. What many girls really appreciate are:

Kindness

Respect

Confidence without arrogance

A good sense of humor

Being real—not trying too hard

Pro Tip: Being yourself is the best version you can be.

📝 A Quick Do and Don’t Guide

✅ Do:

Be patient

Respect her feelings

Keep working on yourself

Be a good friend first

❌ Don’t:

Try to impress with lies

Change who you are just to fit in

Gossip or say mean things about her to get attention

Pressure her to like you

📚 A Personal Story to End With

A 7th grader named Ethan once had a crush on a girl in his science class.Instead of trying to act “cool,” he just started talking to her about their class project. They both liked animals and science, and started working together on a project about ocean life.

They became friends. A few months later, she told him she liked how kind and funny he was—and they started texting more often. It didn’t happen overnight. But because Ethan was himself, listened, and didn’t rush things, things worked out.

🎯 Final Thoughts

Getting someone to like you back in middle school isn’t about tricks or smooth lines. It’s about showing your best self—kind, confident, and curious—and building a connection based on trust and respect.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be real.

Pro Tip: Relationships that last—friendships or more—always start with kindness and understanding.

🔁 Reflection Challenge

Tonight, think about this:

What are 3 things you like about yourself?

Who’s someone at school you’d like to get to know better?

What’s one respectful way you could start a conversation?

Then, go try it. You might be surprised at what happens next.

Author expertise

Michael B. Norris is a respected expert in adolescent psychology and youth development, with over 15 years of experience guiding middle schoolers through emotional and social challenges. His work is widely recognized for promoting empathy, confidence, and healthy peer relationships