How To Deal With Fake Friends?

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Fake friends are those people who we're pretending to be kind and also pretending to be nice. Fake friends are those types of people that if they see something even a centimeter better they try and take it away and it hurts. A fake friend won't stick their neck out and back you up if there is an argument between you and another person. They won't stand up for you and vouch for your character because that would mean they risk being disliked by those you are in disagreement with. Instead, they will look on silently, letting you fight alone.

My experience with fake friends has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It not only hurt me the worst way it also opened my eyes and that’s when my insecurities and self-esteem issues come in.

I’ve been used, exchanged, and dropped by people who I called my ‘friends’. I don’t tell many people about my fake friend's issue because I deal with people who are bigger and worse than me so I didn’t want to come off as weak or delicate so I acted and I faked my personality and my attitude. A friendship with a fake friend can also be described as a toxic friendship.

According to Kelly Campbell, a professor of psychology at California State University, a “toxic friendship is one that violates the norms and expectations of friendship.”

She says that “friends should have your best interest at heart, stand up for you in your absence, keep your secrets, treat you with respect, be trustworthy and supportive, and be happy for your successes.”

According to Campbell, it’s when these norms aren’t upheld that it’s a “toxic friendship.”

Don’t ever think you are alone because they are so many people who want to help you and want you to be better and want you to feel better about yourself but they don’t understand, you just don’t want to be hurt anymore and you will do anything in your power to stop hurting and if it means faking it to you make it then why not?

Forgiveness is something I do so easily no matter what the situation is. Forgiveness is what keeps fake friends coming back.

What a lot of adults think is that fake friends can be gone by dropping them but all we want is to have a friend. I just wanted peace with my life. Real friends acknowledge that fact, and they effortlessly accept you for who you are. You may disagree on things, but they are there for you, no matter what. On the other hand, fake friends won't be patient enough to deal with your faults and will try to leave as soon as they find themselves in unfavorable situations.

Look, real friends always joke around and argue about both trivial and serious matters. Fake friends also discuss these things, but here’s the difference: They won’t let you win. These ‘friends’ won’t let you rest until they’ve pointed out how they’re absolutely right.

Somehow, it’s them who know the full context and have all the correct opinions.

In other words:

Fake friends require unearned, full-on support — there’s no room for compromise.

Stefanie Safran says in Bustle that this is a clear sign of a toxic friend:

“A person that always tries to tell you that you are always wrong when you ask for advice and lacks any empathy is someone that is probably toxic.”

Here’s a suggestion:

Cut ties with them. We know it’s not easy being the one to initiate this, especially if you’ve had genuinely good moments with them.

But remember:

You’re better off without them.

And second:

There are people out there waiting to be your real friends. People who will listen to you and who are willing to be there from time to time.

So approach your fake friends, one by one.

Tell them what your realizations and how you honestly feel about them.

Let them defend themselves, but don’t let your guard down. They might just be guilt-tripping you to get out of the situation and look like the good guys.

On the other hand, perhaps you don’t want to completely get rid of them. It’s up to you to decide. Dr. Lerner said in the New York times that it ”depends on how large the injury is.”

”Sometimes the mature thing is to lighten up and let something go,” she added. ”It’s also an act of maturity sometimes to accept another person’s limitations.”

Or you can’t because either you’ll see them every day at work or because they’re genuinely good friends with your other pals.

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