How to Accept Your Sexuality

My Teenage Romantic Interests and Crushes

I remember being nine years old, gazing at my year five teacher's umm... assets shall we say? I also remember the embarrassment when I got caught staring at her in that way. But I also remember thinking: "No, this is wrong, I can't be attracted to women, look at men instead and just suppress your feelings," I told myself.

But did that work in the long run? No. I was the kid at school who, instead of having crushes on my fellow students, had crushes on my teachers. From the butch maths teacher who I still remember to this day who could run across the playground chasing naughty students whilst wearing a pear of stiletto's (now that takes some serious talent!).

I did eventually get crushes on students, but it is well known that especially in the lesbian community, women seek out older women, and vice versa. Not sure if this can be said with gay men, but I've seen some dating patterns between gay men that would make me assume this theory has some truth to it.

Step 1: Admit it!

Now this step is arguably the hardest step on this list, but it is the start of coming to terms with who you are, and accepting that you view some women as more than "just friends."

Denial, deep down doesn't feel good for anyone. It doesn't feel good for your family who you're lying to, it doesn't feel good to anyone you may be dating as a cover up or in secret, and I know that feeling of having a chip on your shoulder, and believe me, you will love the feeling you feel once you can lift this weight and truly be free!

But of course there are a few exceptions... which brings me on to my next point.

Step 2: Think It Through

Coming out is something you need to think through, if there's a chance you might be disowned, rejected, or bullied for it. You don't want to put yourself through the ordeal of coming out, only to be shunned by your family and/or peers.

If you coming out means you will be homeless, beaten up, lectured for hours on end with religious references, and nonsense quotes from the Bible, then maybe hold off on coming out until you can support yourself financially, and live in a place of your own where coming out won't result in harsh and unfair treatment.

Step 3: When You're Ready

When you're ready, and only when you're ready should you come out of the closet.

But when you do so, do so with pride, because there are not thousands but millions of others in the exact same position you're in. When you first say that you're a lesbian, gay, or bisexual out loud, it will feel weird. Mainly because you've never said it out loud, and it will be something that you will have to do almost everyday (coming out to people such as your work colleagues or newly founded friends and distant family members) as that is the world we live in, where everyone is assumed to be straight unless told otherwise.

But remember that your life is best lived being true to yourself and no one else, and just know that the right person for you is out there somewhere, and they may not be able to find you if you don't stay true to who you really are.

You can't attract hot women or cute guys that could be the love of your life if you're living in the closet or living a double life. Just remember that!

Step 4: Inclusivity

Being something other than straight can feel a little isolating if you don't mix with others like you, or know where to find them.

The first kind of place you can meet and mingle with people of the same sexuality or community would be social groups and support groups to help you come to terms with realising that it's okay to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual, and to be proud of it too, and that there are many others out there like you.

Social groups and support for lesbians, gays and bisexuals in the UK, can be found via websites like these:

LGBT Health and Wellbeing: http://londonfriend.org.uk/

Help, support and information: https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-and-advice

Support:https://lgbt.foundation/

For people in the USA, social groups and support can be found on sites like these:

LGBT Health: https://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/index.htm

LGBT Rights and Laws: https://www.aclu.org/

Find Support:https://www.pflag.org/find-a-chapter

An LGBT Helpline:https://www.glbthotline.org/

If you're not living in the UK or the US, you can find help and support in your country here.

Step 5: Staying Strong

As you grow and learn about who you really are, you might encounter some people who have hateful beliefs, most of which they cannot justify without using outdated religious Abrahamic texts from holy scriptures, or because they were raised to either dislike or have no knowledge of anything beyond heterosexuality.

Remember that others do not determine your worth, you do. So when someone calls you a derogatory homophobic word, or tries to shame you for something your body is naturally attracted to, just remember that these individuals only fear or dislike what they don't understand, and that's because they don't feel what you feel, some (but most certainly not all) will have a hard time relating to you.

However to conclude this article, these kinds of people are not worth wasting your breath, time, or energy on. You're worth more than that!

Fun Fact: Did you know that homosexuality is found in hundreds of different animal species including birds, mammals, insects and reptiles?

Click on this link to read more about that: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals