How I Learned to Love Myself (And How You Can Too)

For a long time, I thought self-love was just a fancy Instagram quote. Something people said to sound deep. “Love yourself,” they’d say, but no one told me how to actually do it.

I used to wake up every day feeling like I wasn’t enough. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough. I constantly compared myself to people online, wondering why their lives looked perfect and mine felt like a mess.

But one day, something shifted. Not because of a dramatic event—but because I got tired. Tired of hating myself. Tired of waiting to feel worthy.


-If you’re reading this and feeling a little lost, I want you to pause.

If you’ve ever looked in the mirror and felt like you’re not enough…
If you’ve stayed quiet in a room full of people because you felt too small to speak…
If you’ve begged for love from people who didn’t even respect you…
If you’ve cried at night wondering why you can’t just feel happy like everyone else seems to…
I want you to know—this story is for you.

Because I’ve been there. And you’re not broken.


1. I Stopped Chasing Perfection

Perfection is exhausting. I was trying so hard to be the “ideal” version of myself—flawless skin, perfect productivity, zero mistakes. But guess what? No one is perfect. Not even the people who seem like they have it all together.

So I started being kinder to myself. I allowed myself to make mistakes. I stopped beating myself up for every little thing. And slowly, I realized—I didn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of love. I just had to be real.


2. I Treated Myself Like Someone I Loved

Think about someone you love deeply—maybe a friend, a sibling, or even your pet. You’d never speak to them the way you speak to yourself in your head, right?

I started paying attention to my inner voice. Whenever I caught myself saying, “You’re not good enough,” I paused and asked, “Would I say this to someone I care about?”

The answer was always no.

So I replaced that voice with a softer one. I told myself, “It’s okay to be learning,” or “You’re doing better than you think.”

3. I Created Small Rituals of Self-Care

Self-love isn’t always big or loud. Sometimes, it’s quiet. Like making your favorite cup of tea. Or going for a walk without your phone. Or journaling your thoughts after a long day.

I began adding small acts of self-care into my routine. Not because I “should,” but because I deserved to feel good. These little things became reminders: I matter. My peace matters. My happiness matters.


4. I Let Go of People Who Didn’t Value Me

This one was hard.

There were people in my life who made me feel small, like I was only valuable when I was useful to them. But self-love means setting boundaries. It means saying, “I deserve respect. I deserve kindness.”

Letting go wasn’t easy, but it created space for people who truly saw me. Who cheered for me. Who didn’t want a perfect version of me, just the real one.


5. I Stopped Waiting to Be “Fixed”

I used to think I’d finally love myself once I reached a certain weight, or job, or relationship. But that was just a trap. Self-love isn’t a destination—it’s a decision.

So I stopped waiting. I decided: I am enough, exactly as I am. Not when I’m thinner. Not when I’m richer. Not when someone loves me.

Now. Today.


And You Can Too…

Self-love isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about coming home to yourself. The messy, real, beautiful version of you.

It’s okay if you’re still learning how.
It’s okay if you fall back sometimes.
It’s okay if all you did today was survive.

You’re still worthy of love. Especially from yourself.