How do I overcome or move on after a breakup?

Few months back I was searching for the answer to this question that can help me but there were great answers but nothing seems helpful. Now that I have moved on and I am quite at peace with everything I decided to share my experience.

Mostly people will wonder that probably it is a same answer which suggest you to get over your ex. But no it’s a different experience which can help everyone trying to move on.

I wasn’t trying to get over my ex but lately I experience tough and hard time and I was trying to move on from my own thoughts of guilt, failures, rejections, self criticism and all such feelings that left me feel miserable.

Every morning I decided that today is going to be a good day and I will not feel sad or I will not cry anymore. But the truth is ‘things are easier said than done”.

We all want to feel happy, we all want to move on but it’s not easy it takes time. But time is limited and we can’t waste it being unhappy.

One morning I woke up and told myself that today is going to be a good day (I was trying power of attraction as it has worked for me couple of times) but as I went to mirror and tried to smile I burst out in tears because -

Firstly , I heard noises in the next room of disputes and quarrel.

Secondly, what I saw in mirror a girl who has lost so much weight, face all covered with dark circles and a very weak person.

Third, I just remember that I am getting ready for work which is not making me grow at all.

Fourth, I remember that one of my friend is getting married today and I have to attend that wedding and not exactly sure what to answer when they ask about my marriage.

In that moment everything hits me harder and I failed to smile.

Late at night, in conversation with my best friend I told her why I am not able to move on though I desperately want to.

She said because you are surrounded with same circumstances and same people and same memories that lead you there and that’s why you can’t find an “ESCAPE”

I told her I can’t be a coward and run away leaving other people suffer. But her words somehow made me realize many things.

Now lies the secrets behind me feeling better now -

1. I was not able to move on because I failed to realize one important thing - Trust the timing of your life. We want everything to happen right now we want perfect job, we want perfect partner we want to look perfect. But life do not go like this. Perfection is a myth. We get what we deserve not what we want. And to deserve best we need to stop depending our happiness on other things or people. We need to feel contented and try to become better on our own not as per expectations of others.
2. No matter how much we try to avoid things, there are certain things that reminds you that you lost something or you are going through bad phase. Try to cut off from such things for a while and put your energy in other things. Instead of listening to sad songs, reading sad quotes switch to motivational stuff eventually it will help.
3. Social Media is good but when you are going through bad phase than seeing someone else celebrating there victories makes you sad obviously. So for a while take a break spend time with your close friends and family. You don’t need to post even sad quotes or sad songs because those who give damn are sitting right next to you waiting for you talk and move on.
4. Failures and heart breaks are phases. From one phase you go to another and you become wise after every phase. Problems will never end. Once you find solution to one problem another problem is right there waiting for you. But the key is to try not to make your problem a suffering.
5. Become a better person by reading good by talking about better things. Talk about your problems less and solutions more. And after talking take little step everyday for yourself.
6. Most important of all is to believe - “Sometime not getting what you want is wonderful stroke of luck”

There is no Escape from Problems. Problems are never ending. Escape is within you. Stop searching for an escape and believe that you already have something that others might be praying for.