How Accepting My Emotions Changed My Life
I’m no longer overwhelmed
I used to hurt myself.
My feelings were so out of control that self-harm seemed like the only answer. It was also the answer to emptiness that plagued me when I didn’t know how to cope. Pain was better than nothing.
I did not know how to cope with my emotions.
My feelings would get out of control if I was criticized. I believed, unconsciously, that if someone didn’t like me or was angry around me, it meant I was a terrible person. Which made me a screaming mess while crying and defending myself.
I was overwhelmed all the time.
Reading The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris changed my life.
This took two years of practice before it became a reliable source of comfort. I can finally say my emotions don’t control or overwhelm me. Nor do I push them away until I’m numb.
Because I learned to Drop Anchor.
Dropping Anchor is a technique within Acceptance and Commitment therapy. It allows you to give space to your feelings. And it allows you to be calm while having a big emotion.
I used to believe my emptiness would swallow me, or my hurt would drown me.
They actually won’t get any bigger than you are. If you allow them. If you don’t believe me, try it out.
Accept Your Emotions
In most self-help and therapy models, mindfulness is the first step.
If you don’t notice your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, you can’t change yourself.
So is true in Dropping Anchor.
Feelings actually come after a thought, but it happens so fast we don’t notice. We notice the feeling first as a body sensation. So check in with your body. Then you can give it a label by using a feeling wheel or the How We Feel app or just whatever comes to mind.
Then just breathe. Allow the feeling space inside you. Notice the ebb and flow through your body. Notice calm parts of your body and the storm.
Isn’t that better than screaming while the emotion smothers you?
Come Into Your Body
Where is your body in the world?
What do you feel?
If you feel nothing, scrunch your toes or hands, squeeze your thighs, or stretch your arms out.
Hello, welcome to the world.
Engage with the world
Spend the next few minutes engaged in the world.
If the emotion has a stranglehold on you, then you can play the senses game. Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 2 think you taste.
If you are feeling okay, you can engage in whatever task is next. But so mindfully.
I like to play the sloth game when I’m feeling sad. This is from Kristen at the Centered Life. The sloth game is just moving as slow as possible, your eyes only partially open if you like. Like really go as slow as you can. Moving as if you are in water, slow and deliberate.
Grounds you in the moment.
Cycling Through the Steps
If you need to, you can move through the steps fast or slow. You can repeat as many times as you need. Whenever you need.
This has seriously changed my life. When I feel any big emotion that makes me want to scream or cry. I can just drop my anchor. Now, instead of being a ship in a hurricane, I become tethered to the moment.
I’m in control of my life again.
About the Creator
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Comments (16)
Such a beautifully written piece! Your words truly resonated with me, and I could feel the depth of your emotions. Saving this to revisit and reflect on in the future. 💖
Thank you for sharing such a raw and transformative journey. Your vulnerability in opening up about self-harm and overwhelming emotions is both courageous and inspiring. The way you've embraced mindfulness and the Drop Anchor technique shows immense growth and resilience. It's empowering to see how you've turned pain into a pathway for healing and self-awareness. Your story is a reminder that emotions don’t have to control us and that with the right tools, we can regain control over our lives. This will undoubtedly encourage others who are struggling to seek hope and healing.
Love thisss. saving it for reaffirming! You are amazing
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I love how you've highlighted the importance of accepting emotions, connecting with your body, and engaging with the world.
Wow, you've overcome a lot. I'm glad you were able to take control of your feelings and not let them define you as a person. Life can be overwhelming at times, but taking it one step at a time and appreciating the little things makes a difference. Your story will resonate with so many people who are dealing with similar emotional struggles, and I hope it provides them with the support they need. Thank you for sharing this.
Excellent, EXCELLENT share! You've delivered crystal clarity with personal experience AND resources. I understood everything you wrote. What a wonderful human being you are for doing this and top story kudos!
A wonderful article! Yes, this is exactly what we need—to understand our true feelings instead of masking them, and to accept them as they are. Only then can we transform them from a source of pain into a source of strength. A truly remarkable piece!
Congratulations on your Top Story 🎉 'Pain was better than nothing' I feel this line in the deepest part of my soul, it's a scary place to be. Pushing our emotions away until we are numb, is so tempting but also damaging. It's awesome that reading 'the happiness trap', helped you. Oh I I love the way you write. How you say one thing, then offer an alternative in one sentence. Like this one '...emptiness would swallow me, or my hurt would drown me.' I didn't know the How We Feel app existed. I like how this piece have a range of practical things we could do, its very helpful and informative. Loving that sloth game method. It's the first time I am hearing about it as well. 👌🏾👏🏾♥️🤗
Wow amazing 🤩
This somehow caught my attention while i was scrolling in the internet. I love this idea & i would love to try this when waves of sadness hit me out of nowhere. Hope it helps.
Wow, amazing poem!
Fabulous writing ✍️🏆🏆🏆♦️♦️♦️
The hardest is to accept our emotions, especially the negative ones. Great piece.
Excellent writing! Thx and congrats!
Im glad you came into your body! Great work! Congratulations!