How a couple deals with the shock when they see their baby...

I am a 54-year-old Mom of one son, who is 22. His name is Robby and he has Downs Syndrome. My life is pretty typical, although while most of my friends are enjoying the “empty nest” syndrome, my husband and I will never truly know what that feels like. Robby will most likely live with us forever.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago, when I was having lunch with some friends, that the question finally came up.

The blonde with the superstar football player said, “So tell us. What was it like when you saw that your son had Downs Syndrome?"

I could feel the heat rising up my back, onto my neck, and finally taking up residence on my entire face. I am prone to getting red blotchy welts on my face if I am either nervous, scared, or angry. I’m sure at that moment my face was a dead giveaway that I wasn’t too happy about her bold and highly inappropriate question. So, part of me was defensive. Part of me was angry. And part of me just wanted to stand up and punch that bitch right in the face.

Once I had a second to regain my composure, however, I decided to take the high road and just put it out there once and for all.

You want to know what it’s like? I’ll tell you what it’s like.

It’s like going on a vacation and ending up in a different location than you had anticipated.

I saw the puzzled looks on everyone’s faces, but I continued.

Yeah, you know, thinking you’re going to a hot tropical paradise and ending up in say, Alaska. Alaska is beautiful and all, but if you were planning on a tropical destination, you would probably be unprepared and quite honestly, shocked. You would have no bathing suits, sandals, or sunscreen.

So, for years and years you and your husband prepare for this vacation.

First, you ask yourself if going on a vacation is even a possibility.

Do we have enough money? Can we take the time off work?

Once you realize that you are actually able to go, you are crazy excited. Right away you make an appointment with a travel agency. After looking through stacks of pamphlets, pictures, and prices you make a decision of where you want to go, shake hands with the very friendly travel agent, and make a down payment. It is then that you realize, yes! This is really going to happen!

You race home and fight over the sharpie, as you both want to be the one to mark the date on the calendar. March 1st. That's the “do” date.

You might decide to celebrate your big announcement like we did. I can still see the excitement on everyone’s faces as we broadcasted our news to the entire neighborhood shouting, “We are going to Hawaii!”

The true adventure starts taking place a couple of months down the road though. You start making plans for what you need and what you want. And it’s so much fun. All of it. We started our countdown by buying smiley face stickers to mark each passing day on the calendar. After that, we went shopping. Lots of shopping. There were plenty of things that we needed, and maybe some things that we didn’t, but it was so much fun we couldn’t help ourselves. There was so much to choose from! We bought new clothes, new suitcases, a new camera, and new bathing suits. We were kind of spending more than what we had budgeted for, but this was a major lifetime thing, so we somehow just made it work.

We were cautious and we were smart. We read books, watched videos and even called the travel agency a few times to ask questions. We made sure that we knew the best islands to go to, the best places to eat, and the best hotel to stay in. We also made sure to pack our sunscreen. We certainly didn’t want to get burnt from the hot, gorgeous, Hawaiian sun.

Two weeks before the “do date” we even signed up for scuba lessons. Neither one of us had ever done it, but it looked so exciting and we were confident that we could learn how.

And then the magic day finally arrived. We checked our bags making sure we had everything we needed, and out the door we went to board an airplane that was waiting to take us to Hawaii.

The plane ride was very smooth with hardly any turbulence. I can remember holding hands and laying our heads back on the seat just taking it all in. We drank, played games on our phones, and read magazines. We even slept for a little while.

And then the plane landed! Finally. Everyone stood up and we single filed our way to the front of the plane. Hearts pounding, hands sweating, and bags on our shoulders, we stepped off the plane and into the long-awaited Hawaiian airport.

Once we were inside, however, my head was trying to make sense of what we had just walked into. I was looking in every direction for a sign. Any sign. Any sign that would tell us that we were in beautiful Hawaii. If this was the place, I pictured it much differently. I thought I would see cute Hawaiian girls passing out leighs and serving us coconut water. Nope. Nothing. Then it happened. Out of nowhere, I was sucker-punched in the gut. I looked out the window and saw that there was snow on the ground. Snow? What the hell? My husband then grabbed my arm and pointed to a sign that clearly said, “Welcome to Colorado.”

A feeling of dread crept up from the pit of my stomach. We were both in complete shock and I can vividly remember the loudness of my heart beating in my chest, neck, and throat. There had to be a mistake. This was NOT what we signed up for. Just then, an older gentleman got on the loudspeaker to make an announcement.

He began, “Hello everyone and welcome to Colorado! You had one of our most seasoned pilots get you here safely and I hear that it was a great flight. I also see that everyone has found their luggage. That’s always a good thing! There are pamphlets up here, free of charge, if you would like to grab one to help you navigate your way through this beautiful state. I also see that many of you signed up for scuba diving. With the sudden change in plans, we were able to gather some last-minute information on some skiing resorts here if you would like to do that instead. You may also want to buy some warmer clothes. We not only have many shops here in the airport, but plenty when you get into the city as well.

And then a long pause, and you could hear a pin drop.

I realize that this is not Hawaii, folks, but it’s still a vacation, and you can still have a lot of fun. Thank you everyone, and have a nice trip.”

My husband and I looked at each other and could not say a single word.

We knew. We knew that there was no changing this. No going back. No leaving. This was our vacation, take it or leave it. From that moment on, we knew that we had better get ourselves together to do everything possible to survive this sudden blow.

And that’s what we did. We took classes, joined support groups, and read every book out there. Yes, it was to say the least, a shock. For some reason, the ultrasound did not pick up on the fact that our baby was going to be born with Downs Syndrome.

“It’s very rare to have that happen”, is what the doctor told us.

But that’s ok. We still had a child even if our child wasn’t exactly the type of child we were expecting.

Fast forward 20 years, and we have fun, still do things as a family, and still get to celebrate in all of his achievements. I have a scrapbook filled with pictures of him at every age, every milestone, and every Christmas, Easter and Halloween. He was actually able to graduate from high school, hold down a job, and he makes friends everywhere he goes. We were still able to go to parent-teacher conferences, take pictures of him and his prom date, and cheer him on when he played baseball. Maybe it’s a little different, but it’s our different. He laughs, he cries, and he plays jokes on us just like we do him.

This is what God has planned for us. God knew that we could handle this, and we have. Robby has been nothing but a blessing and has taught us all how to be positive, motivated, unselfish, and thankful.

So, when you ask, what’s it’s like. It’s wonderful. Alaska is just as beautiful as Hawaii, it’s just different. And yes, we weren’t prepared for that, but we dug our heels in and learned, made mistakes, cried and laughed.

My friend had a look on her face that I had never seen before. I think maybe she learned something that day as well.