Honeyed Words

I’m here for you, no matter what.

You can lean on me.

I love you.

I’m not going anywhere.

The weight of these phrases comes with a price, and before they escape your lips you must ask yourself if you are really and truly ready to pay it. As human beings we are all guilty of saying things we don’t mean; to be clear, I am not here to condemn you for saying them, as I’m sure that at the moment there is an inkling of truth when they are uttered. We all, naturally, have good intentions. But consider this, maybe there was also a part of you that said it for yourself? Maybe you needed the validation of I’m a good person because I say these things; maybe you assumed that who you spoke to, would never actually take your words to heart.

But what if they did?

What if they believed you, and suddenly you became the reason their emotional flood wall, their survival mechanism, begins to crack and chip away, or even break altogether? What if they actually believe that they’ve miraculously found someone who believes their struggle and maybe, just maybe, will help them pull themselves out of the dark place that they’ve fallen into; the one they’ve been trying to so hard to get out of? Suddenly, you become the hand at the top of the pit that they’ve been hoping for, the one who will throw the rope down to them so that they can ascend from that dark and dirty pit.

I ask you, dear reader, how strong is your rope? Is it braided well and sturdy enough to carry even the heaviest of weights? Or is it frayed, and more than likely to break under circumstances that it simply wasn’t built for? Will it snap at the last second when you finally come face to face with aspects of the person that you didn’t want to see or simply weren’t prepared for? Because words, fleeting as they are, do carry a lot of weight.

But along with the weight comes the flavor. Words come in many flavors, and honeyed ones are a favorite to the unsuspecting fly who has no idea how sticky they truly are. Many, if not all of us, have been the fly at some point in our lives; but we must ponder the question, how many times have we been the honey?

It is important, to be honest with ourselves and come to terms with the fact that we are all struggling in some way. Once we recognize this, we can understand that as individuals we cannot be the savior to everyone’s struggles. Some days it takes all that we have to even save ourselves, and with that reality how could we hope to save someone else? Well, even the smallest of actions have their worth.

Lending an ear without adding your opinion or advice can do more than you think. You could be the first person to truly listen to someone’s struggle, without waiting for your opportunity to put your two cents in. Even something as seemingly small as an honest compliment, or a smile, is enough. While actions like these may seem small and insignificant, you could have been one the one glimmer of light that someone had seen all day. Because even if that is all that you had the energy to do, you still did something, and better yet it was honest.

In essence, it is of the utmost importance that we choose our words carefully; because while perfection is an unattainable state, there will always be integrity and accountability to fall back on. Make good on the promises you make or don’t make them at all. Hold yourself accountable for your actions, and admit and make amends when you are in the wrong.

Stay true to yourself, and you will by extension stay true to everyone else.