Holding at all costs

It was 7am and I was walking the trail in town. I preferred early morning exercise, it helped me remain alert for the rest for the day. And today was going to be a busy one. Zoom meeting at 9, quick store run, then another Zoom meeting at 3. I quickened my pace. I would be Video Conferencing until 6. I had dinner plans after with my neighbor Kay. She was celebrating seven years of sobriety. I was proud of her and thought she deserved recognition. My treat.

The trail cut through town. And today it eerily quiet. Not many people were out walking. A dense fog claimed hold of the path. Few houses were lined among the trees. Save some old barns scattered throughout. I heard a barn owl hoot in the distance. Hooting echoed in the early morning air. I zipped my windbreaker up a little more. A gust of wind scattered a small pile of leaves from last years Autumn. I began to turn back. A chill was settling in and I didn't want to be late for my work meeting.

I poured myself another cup of coffee just as the CEO was starting. Zoom had been open for about 10 minutes. He immediately got into the first quarter. The company had done well. He congratulated us on all the hard work. He proceeded to go over charts and graphs. I sipped from my mug. The coffee was warm and comforting. I thought about the rest of the morning. These meetings usually lasted well into noon. My cat Pebbles nudged my foot and looked up at me. I patted her gently on the head. I had a companion to get me through the boring session.

As the CEO from our Real Estate Development Company wrapped up I jotted down a few more notes on holding costs. My other meeting at 3 was with our Manager. She was a stickler for holding costs. Besides I had a few good ideas I wanted to share with the group. Everyone logged off. I cleaned out the coffee pot. Got my sneakers and puffer jacket on.

I would be quick at Walmart, pick up my prescription of Enalapril 10 milligrams for my high blood pressure. And soon to be more my Doctor warned "if you don't cut back on the caffeine." Which, coincidentally, I needed more coffee. A packet of 7 bean soup mix for my lunch, which I hadn't had yet. And toilet paper.

Getting out of my car I felt the same chill I did earlier out on the trail. The air was saturated with moisture and the fog dredged on. As I was entering the store, my neighbor Kay sent me a text message thanking me for dinner tonight and stating she was looking forward to it. I thought again how well she had done. As I made my way to the toilet paper aisle I thought about all the times she doubted if she could make it at all. She often told me she felt as if her dependency on alcohol was bigger than she was. Suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted with a loud bang. I couldn't understand at first were the ruckus was coming from. But then I heard consecutive bangs and people screaming. An active shooter! He was in the store firing rounds. I quickly dived into the toilet paper rack. I arranged them so I could only see a slight crack of light shining in. I tried not to breath for fear of being heard and ultimately discovered. The screams continued and shots went off for what seemed like an eternity. Suddenly I saw a shuffling of boots through the slight fissure I created. Menacing black combat boots walking past. I squeezed my eyes shut. The firearm went off.

I muffled my fears as the deafening sound shattered through my brain. Then I laid very still. After awhile I tried moving. I was able to move but I was afraid to find out what happened. I heard moaning a short distance away. I could no longer see the combat boots in front of me. The aisle was quiet except for the moaning. I wiggled out of my hiding place. I was okay but the officer in front of me was shot. He was holding his hands up to his chest. I thought quickly, in the rack I was safe. That's where I had to take the officer, to safety. I began dragging him into the steel unit. Little did I realize his bullet proof vest was weighty. He allowed me to drag him away but he was still in shock from the impact of the bullets. And the vest was so heavy I had a going at it to move him. Finally after much effort we were hidden away. I assured him he wasn't injured and he would be safe with me. He nodded slightly, still trying to recover from being struck. I got on his radio attached to his shoulder. I whispered into it many people were shot, please come quick!

Long after the scene settled down there was still chaos about. First responders everywhere. Merchandise scattered all around the store. It was as if a bomb has gone off. The officer and I were at the end of the store. When we were found most people had been taken away. Fifteen people had been shot, including the shooter. I tried not to stare at the bloody scene as I was being led up front.

Outside police cars and armoured tanks lined the parking lot. There were also ambulances. Many of them. I was whisked into one and asked many questions. Was I hurt? Did I feel pain anywhere? Could I move without restriction? And I was told I should go to the hospital for observation. I declined. I wasn't hurt and the hospitals were probably overwhelmed with this tragedy. I just wanted to go home.

The rain was pelleting on Kays windshield. I asked her to pick me up. I wasn't comfortable enough to drive home. I kept replaying the events in my head. The sounds, the images. Kay noticed I was very quiet. "Let me get dinner tonight.” She said. We will eat at your house together.” "I'm sorry I'm not hungry. I want to be alone" I said quietly. "I will make dinner up to you another night." "Of course" she said. "No worries." As she pulled in my driveway I got out. But nothing seemed real to me. I felt like I was floating. I felt like I didn't have my two feet firm on the ground. When I got home I went straight to the couch. I thanked Kay for picking me up and told her I wanted to rest. She reminded me she was next door if I needed anything.

I thought of the lives lost while in that building today. My head was spinning. I nodded off and slept for what felt like hours. I was awakened by somebody at the door. I startled. The sound startled me from my sleep. Peebles looked up at me strangely. I got up and found a stranger at my door. "Hello Janice" he said. "Yes" I responded. "I'm officer Canton. And today you helped me." He stated. Of course I didn't recognize him without his uniform. It was the officer I dragged into the shelving unit. "I wanted to thank you and brought you these flowers." He held out the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen. I began crying as he handed them to me. We hugged and I knew this was something that we would carry for the rest of our lives.