HELLO FROM SCAMMER

To those,

Who took their own lives, unable to bear the bitter truth;

Who survived but barely live now, heartbroken, hope and trust crashed;

Who dreamed about making their lives complete, but lost the last they had;

Who wanted the happiness, but were left in tears.

You log in to your account on [Feel free to name your favorite one …]: a social network; a dating site.

Oh, look! You have a friend request from a person you don’t know. A visitor “liked” your photo. You have a new message from a person you’ve never seen before.

You are a woman past middle age.

You are married or you have someone in your life. You have your ups and downs with your partner, like anyone in a life-long relationship. But those don’t matter. You love him. And he loves you. You complete each other and you feel that you have all you need in life. You are content and happy.

So, you dismiss this visitor. You look at the “likes” and shrug your shoulders. You delete his request and forget about him.

But if…

You are divorced: Bitter regrets and unhappy thoughts of what went wrong with your marriage are on your mind. Hidden deep are the fear of never meeting anyone who could be a close friend and the fear of meeting someone who will turn out to be an exact copy of your ex, if not worse.

You are widowed: You have lost the person with whom you shared everything. Every little thing around you reminds of the person who is gone. It’s not a divorce or a separation, where there’s a chance you might bump into each other. No. It’s Final. You go through disbelief, unacceptance, anger, pain, longing, then reluctant submission to the thought that he is no more. You slowly resolve to carry on, begin to find little pleasures in everyday life and even become interested in meeting someone.

You are unhappily married: there is no abuse, but life with him is calm and quiet, boring, without much love and affection. Living under the same roof, you never really talk about anything else but the weekend grocery run and the need to fix something. Compliments, signs of affection or appreciation: none. Your partner takes you for granted, and deep in your mind you detest that. You read romance novels, dream of meeting a man that is passionate and romantic like the characters in your books that you love so much. But you stay where you are, too indecisive or reluctant to make a change, or you stay out of habit.

In other words, you are a lonely woman past middle age.

And now this happens…

And your heart skips a beat. You are curious. Who could it be?

Who has noticed you, a middle-aged woman? Not even pretty, you admit that to yourself, but again, not without charm. Those wrinkles, you see them appearing and going deeper almost daily. That skin, not radiant as in those endless ads for a miracle cream that restores magically, almost overnight, the firmness of the skin and makes you look twenty years younger. You wish…

Slightly pudgy in the most noticeable places too. That comes inevitably after too many sandwiches being gobbled down on the go: it’s work, work, work, above all… snacks at night too, while watching your next favorite show. And a nightly promise to yourself: that’s it, starting tomorrow, you will be going to gym…

So, that friend request from a stranger fulfills a secretly cherished dream, the hope that a man sees your inner beauty. Someone finds you attractive and seeks your attention. You knew one day it would happen. You are a romantic in hiding; you’ve always believed in fate. What if this is the beginning of something beautiful…? Yes, definitely, this is it.

This request, which you’ve now accepted, and the message that immediately followed, aren’t they proof of what you knew all along?

“Hello, pretty lady, how are you today?”

Before even stopping to look at the visitor’s profile photo, you rush to reply. You want to be light, funny and witty, to impress your visitor and hold his interest.

You reply to the stranger’s message.

Wait. Wait. Please wait. As your new friend starts talking about himself, read his messages carefully.

He is new on this site, wants to make friends, wants to talk. Would you like to be his friend?

Who is he?

He is a military man, deployed in a war zone, on a peacekeeping mission;

Or he is an orthopedic surgeon with the UN, in a war zone.

Or he is an engineer, working at sea on an oil rig, on a contract with a major, well known company.

Or he is a businessman who travels a lot, selling and transporting goods to different countries.

What about his private life?

Of course, he will tell you right away, without your asking.

He is a widower, lost his wife to cancer or in a car crash or during childbirth. It’s still too painful to talk much about his loss, so he won’t. Or he is divorced, after his wife cheated on him with his best friend. On his birthday, to make it even more devastating. Or he is divorced because his wife was a drug addict and abandoned their children and him, and of course, stole his car and all his money. He also lost both parents when he was very young. So tragic. His whole life has been a chain of tragic events. But he has a child (or two) that is his world, his joy, his only family. He would do anything to keep his child (or children) happy.

And his intention is to find a loving, honest woman, not necessarily beautiful and perfect in appearance, but willing to share the rest of their lives together in love and peace, someone who will be a mother to his child.

“I’m not looking for a perfect woman! I need me a really good and kind woman, that knows herself, loves herself and is willing to love me just the way she loves herself.”

Or “I am looking for the same thing you are looking for too, Someone to love me and beloved in return. I don't believe in double dating or cheating on your wife or someone you wanna get married to. I am a one woman's man”

And his quest to find that woman is accomplished from the moment he found your profile, by miracle. He loves what he sees; you are his dream come true.

Does any of this sound familiar?

I am sorry, sister. You’ve got a romance scammer descending on you.

What is a romance scammer?

Catfish is another name for it: a person creates a fictional character, gets in contact with someone (you); tricks that person (you) into falling in love with their character. With only one purpose: to gain your trust, to make you believe he is your long-awaited soul mate and… to extort money from you.

Online romance scams began to flourish shortly after the Internet became available to public in the late ’90s. That wonderful mind-changing invention brought a whole world of information to people’s fingertips, making it accessible at any moment, and crime flourished alongside, putting unsuspecting people at risk of being defrauded and tricked.

You will see soon what is hiding behind the romantic veil he wraps you in, what is really going on as the online romance scam flows.

First, let’s observe the entourage, the visual requisites and important attributes of the character in play.

NAME

The name chosen for work must sound American. He will tell you he is an American, especially when he works on an Asian or a European site where the subscribers are in total admiration of Westerners and Americans in particular. But the way scammers put it, the name will sound a bit off. James Henry, Christopher Mark, Oliver James… Which is the first name, which is the last name? When asked, a scammer will hesitate and offer you to call him whichever you choose. The number of fake profiles created daily is unbelievable. A scammer might stick with one name and keep opening accounts using the same, with small variations. In case one of his profiles gets shut down, he can easily switch to using another, identical, and his correspondents will not notice that it’s a different profile. If he sees that his profiles are easily detected as fraudulent, he will use another, totally different name.

AGE

Of course, he is approximately your age, slightly older or younger, but very close. That does not seem unusual; many not-so-young people turn to finding their soul mates online these days. You feel compassionate. Here is another lonely person, just like yourself, whose life has not been a smooth, happy ride. There’s a reason most fake profiles are created with older characters. To gain your trust. You are more trusting and open with your peer, more willing to share your thoughts and feelings with a person who has lived and experienced a lot. Also, by this time in his life a man should be financially established and secure, which is also a significant reason you might trust this man. And he will not fail to hint about it. Houses in Europe, modern cars…

Why are older lonely women the main target for scammers? ? In the first place, financial security is what scammers are seeking in their victims. Then, the vulnerability of older ladies, who are less informed about the possible threat of meeting an online scammer. An account or a profile with few friends only and not too many photos, that’s what a scammer prefers as his target. And of course, mature ladies have a purely natural interest in meeting someone to share their lives. Scammers are pretty good psychologists and experienced in finding women’s weak spots. They know how to manipulate the qualities nature itself granted her: compassion, the need to love and be loved, to care and protect from pain and sickness.

This might make you wince in dismay, but the person who creates this fake profile is most likely in his early twenties if not younger. Some start to hustle at school, some after graduation, when a chance to find a job is non-existent. There are some older people in the scamming business, of course, but they are less in numbers. Now try to imagine, a young man writes to you, trying to sound like an older person…Or even a young girl, playing the role of an older man. That hurts, doesn’t it?

PROFILE or ACCOUNT

The look and the feel of his profile make you smile: so innocent and sweet. There are lovely pictures of flowers, cute puppies and kittens, photos of him and his adorable child having fun. If he is a military man, there are pictures of him in uniform. An engineer posts pictures with oil platforms and an intertwined pipeline monstrosity.

He has a freshly created profile, with no friends: “I am new here.” Of course, he is new. His previous profile was reported by scam hunters and deleted by administration as a fake account. Right away, the scammer creates a new account or profile; it takes about 30 to 40 minutes to do that, no time wasted.

He won’t accept or add friends out of danger they might start talking to each other. Then there might be a situation when his friends discover they all get the same love poured out to them. And that would put an end to all the work he is trying to do here. There’s a name for it among them: “Work casted.”

The comments section on his photos will be closed. He does not want anyone to visit his profile and leave a comment like, “Beware, this is a scammer’s profile.”

PHOTOS

What a character he creates for you! An honest, hardworking man, charming and down to earth, kind and full of compassion. You look at the profile pictures or the pictures he sends you and can almost physically feel what a pleasure it would be to have such man as a close friend . He is handsome and sexy. Do look at his photos closely, though. Have you seen him somewhere before? You might have. It never hurts to do a Google search by image. You might find some interesting things. Apparently, the attractive man in the photo has a different name, hmm. And he lives somewhere else and does something else for living, not where and what your visitor tells you.

There are many real people whose pictures are stolen and used in romance scams. Some are aware of the fact and post YouTube videos and Tweets warning women not to send money to scammers that have impersonated them. Some may think these are just clowns who use their pictures, not realizing that their intention is more menacing, coldly calculated and plotted. The pictures are of eminent, distinguished people: American (as well as British, Australian, German, Canadian etc.) army men, accredited doctors, owners of big companies, CEOs of world banks, politicians, actors, writers and journalists. The real people in these pictures are also victims of this international crime. A scammer only needs to surf the internet in order to select a suitable set of photos for his story. And voila! There is an abundance of them, readily available. Some of the scammers even make sure to match the date of birth in a fake profile to that of the famous person whose pictures he will use. And the name of the man in a fake profile could match the name of the real person too, with a slight difference, like a couple of letters switched.

Let’s assume you did the Google search by image (thank you, Google). And found the same photos online. Wow, a real four-star US Army general! Sitting online round the clock, chatting for hours, pouring out his soul to you. You check the name in Wikipedia and compare it to his profile. A different name! Date of birth? Different! The real general retired a couple of years ago, you discover, and does not go on patrols every day or night in Kabul!

Although, lately, more and more ordinary folks’ photos have been stolen. It is becoming very difficult to find out who the real person in the photo is. Only some clues in the pictures, overlooked by the scammer, can help: a name badge or a name plate, indication of the place where the picture was taken, a wedding ring on the correct hand (some Europeans wear it on the right hand), a certificate or a diploma hanging on the wall, a newspaper or a book on the desk, a slogan in the background.

On any scam hunting site there are galleries of pictures used most often in fake profiles. Or you can type “Scammer” in Google search. Real prominent people do not create profiles on dating sites or on local social networks. They do have accounts on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook. But these profiles will be marked “Official.” And their posts are totally different from what a scammer would post. Real people have families and busy lives; they have no intention of looking for a soul mate somewhere in Russia or Vietnam; they don’t have time to spend chatting online and befriending hundreds of ladies.

LANGUAGE

Some of the sample messages quoted in this story are taken from a playbook, or a cheat sheet, with pre-typed texts. Someone intelligent and good with words wrote the script, the questions to ask the client (you). The language has not been changed, nor the grammar: I’ve kept to the original script of the conversations. The ordinary phrases he uses (when he is not professing his love to you) are short, in poor English, on average. Many spelling mistakes and badly constructed sentences are the rule. If you talk to him in other languages, not English, he will use a translating application, without fail. Although there are some who can speak English very well. These are mostly university or postgraduate students, working nights to pay tuition. But even they make same common mistakes, for instance “I swears,” or, “I speaks.” That’s an indication you are talking to an African scammer. Their (or “there,” another mistake they all make) English teachers at school taught them that way.

BEGINNING (The friendship stage)

He wants to know all about you. Remember the very first exchange of messages? There are two things he wants to know.

The first thing is your marital status. This is understandable and totally normal in any conversation of two people that just have met.

But as we already established, you are a lonely woman. God knows when the last time you heard a compliment from a man was. The scammer is relieved; a lonely unhappy woman is the most vulnerable. It will be a piece of cake to make you fall for him. A few days of bombarding you with sweet poems and romantic songs, lovely pictures and declarations of his undying love for you, and you probably will be swept off your feet by all this male attention. I must note, though, that nowadays, the sweet talk gets shorter and shorter. The scammer is in a rush to get his pay check. I happened to talk to one who started asking for monetary help in the second hour of chatting (swiftly “falling in love” about 15 minutes prior).

The second, and most important question for the scammer: he needs to know if you work and what your profession is. You know the reason. He is probing to see how much money he could get out of you and how easy it would be. But it’s done in such subtle way. He cannot ask you how much you earn from work directly, or if you are living rich life or otherwise.

Instead it will go like this:

“What's your favorite colour?”

You answer that, and he will ask the main question:

“What type of car do you drive and what colour is it?”

Your answer tells him if you are rich or not. If you drive an expensive car it means you are rich, as he will believe that you can't afford to buy things above your income.

That leads to the next question, to confirm if you are living below what you should be:

“How is work? Hope not stressful?”

When you answer this, the next question will be:

“Hope the task is worth the pay?”

You will assure him, it’s not too taxing.

He will ask:

“How are you paid and in what currency?”

You will tell him what you are paid and what currency... And that's when he starts planning.

He likes you. Meaning, you are a suitable candidate to be worked on. You passed the test. You are willing to communicate, and you have a good stable job (if you work) or if retired, you have a pension.

“You sound open minded and outspoken, I am very open to anything you wish to know about me. I hope you don't mind if I call you my friend henceforth? I believe friendship is the foundation of a lasting relationship, or it runs the risk of not withstanding the trials and temptations that life will throw their way. Friends will work through things. We all lose our physical beauty and strength as we grow old. If a relationship is built on friendship, no matter what age or condition you will always be beautiful in the eyes of the person who loves you”

More questions will follow, mixed with messages where he talks about himself. From his favorite food and music to very sophisticated revelations, his take on life and relationships. Questions he needs to ask in order to get to know you better, to see if you have similar taste in many aspects of life.

“So tell me what do you do for fun?”

“What are you looking for in a man?”

All these questions are more to take your attention off the main question, “How much do you make?” so you will not be wary. He doesn’t want to alert you.

He comments:

“I am glad you are such a transparent and sharing woman ready to share with me, everything about you sound so sweet. Your level of agreement on life and love issues really is an encouragement”

You talk for hours, losing your sense of time, and say goodnight well past your bedtime. It is so enjoyable to talk to such interesting person.

In the morning you find a Good Morning message from him. It warms your heart and brings a smile on your face. Your eyes sparkle, you are in such high spirits. The day flies. The first thing you do once you are home is to check for messages. Of course, it’s here, waiting for you. Oh yes, he works diligently toward his payday.

TIME TO LOVE

“Good morning beauty, Now i am having an affair with my computer, I go to bed looking at it and wake to run to it, because your words have a lot of similarities with mine and we want a lot of things together like having a lot of attentions from our partner, i must say i am thrilled and that makes me smile”.

In the morning, a sweet picture is sent. During the day, few words “Just wanted to check on you”, “How is work”. In the evening, long conversations.

You are getting attached to him. He is constantly on your mind. You recall what he’d said not long ago, and you smile and laugh.

“How was your night, did you ever think of me out of the blues? lol. I woke up to another tune of life, You know i am always smiling but i discovered my heart just had a true smile for the first time in these few days i started writing you, So will you tell me the truth? Are you the angel?”

Oh, those messages! They are full of love and joy to have you in his life now. From the third or fourth day of chatting he confesses he is in love with you. He is delighted, it’s a miracle; Fate has brought you together. All he dreams about is to be with you forever. He masterfully creates an aura of genuine feeling for you, calling you his sweetheart, his queen, dear and honey, never by name.

Why, do you think, would he not call you by your name? Correct: because he sends the same messages to several women at the same time. The scammer is careful, he does not want to make a mistake calling one by the wrong name. Some of them use another trick, choosing ladies who share the same first name. Notice how he disappears in the middle of the conversation for few minutes or asks for a few minutes to answer a phone call? He is talking with someone else at the same time.

How he listens to you, paying so much attention to your words, worrying about your problems, inquiring about your wellbeing.

“How was your night, dear?

“Have you eaten?

“Please take good care of yourself for me.”

“Don't want you to be over stressed and paid less, coz I have enough to last us forever once I'm with you.”

He might ask even what your ring size is. Oh, how touching, he confesses he wants to send you a present, a ring, as a symbol of your eternal love, for the rest of your lives together. And flowers, the ones you love the most. And they will arrive, if you give him your address. They will be paid for with a stolen credit card. No scammer would spend his own money (or his boss’s money, to be exact) on a potential victim, even a very promising one.

He might even post a geolocation link to a particular place, asking jokingly if you were trying to locate the place where he is, his business office (if he plays a role of a contractor-engineer somewhere in an American city).

He might have video calls with you. But not all scammers go there. For those scammers who cannot afford to have a sophisticated, professionally made video, it would be

“honey, we are not allowed to make phone or video calls here. If I am caught, I will be in trouble. It’s an active war zone here.”

With more experienced and better equipped hustlers, short videos are played for you. So short and fast, you cannot even ask a question or say a word. But a small bunch use well doctored videos. These scammers work for a boss who has the necessary equipment to make these videos. You will see the face of the person he’s impersonating, you can speak and he will reply. And the conversation will be in your native tongue, he knows how to deliver the normal pleasantries in almost all languages. There’s an application to make this possible, the video and the language, both.

If there are no video chats, phone calls will be made. And the phone number will correspond with the area where he says he is. There are applications for that too. It lets a scammer generate a phone number from any country.

These methods are used for only one goal: to make you believe he is real, he is who he says he is, to gain your trust.

And have you noticed how fast he types those sometimes very lengthy declarations of love? Because he does not type, he copies and pastes, from a handbook, a script, a cheat sheet, also called playbook, given to him by his boss or tutor. Pretty much all scammers get involved in this business by working for a boss, who provides laptops and pre-typed scripts, as well as tools: apps, updates, useful links, access to sites, IP addresses, photos, videos, delivery services and much more, who provides tutoring and teaches the newbie about the business. Even a psychologist might be available to educate the recruits on female morale, weak spots, where to hit her harder if the need arises. It is a business. He has nothing personal against his victim, all he wants is your money, his next paycheck. Which he shares with his boss, 50/50 or 40/60, depending on the boss’s generosity. It is a common belief that all a scammer needs are a laptop and couple of phones to be able to work, even for himself. Not so, apparently. This is well organized business, and that makes it more dangerous.

SECRETS, SECRETS

He asks if you have told anyone about your communication.

There could be a request from him:

“I want to ask you to keep our relationship a secret. I want to appear as a surprise to your family and friends when I finally come to you.”

Or, another version of the same:

“Don't tell them about our relationship. I had a dream that someone who will interfere in our relationship is going to spoil our relationship, so I don't need anyone.”

Also, he wants you to communicate on Skype, Hangouts, WhatsApp, saying it’s more private and convenient for him due to his field of work. He is not allowed to be on this dating site or social network often, if at all (a military play). He found you; he does not need this profile anymore.

“My profile is not on the sites since i started talking to you, i am leaving it to my fate and destiny i hope you do yours too”

The reason for all this secrecy is very simple. Check if his profile still exists though. Did he tell you he closed his profile? Not true. It was closed by scam hunters, reported as fraudulent.

On the social networks there are groups of people who fight the scammers, fight to clear the sites of the fraudsters. They track the scammers’ profiles; they report them to site administrators. But most importantly, they warn unsuspecting people in his friends’ or followers’ list not to trust the owners/operators of fake profiles. Scam hunters provide information and educate people who have never communicated with scammers before. That makes the scammers angry and scared, as they keep losing prospective victims and with that, possible income. Among themselves, they call it a closing of a profile “RP,” for Rest in Peace.

On Skype, Hangouts, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp it’s only you and him. Most scammers prefer to use WhatsApp. Seeing a real phone number (remember the app for generating a phone number in any country?) gives you a feeling of a real person talking to you. Nobody sees or warns you about the danger of being scammed. Only you can block him there and stop the communication.

IT’S TIME

Days fly by, and you fly too. That exhilaration of feeling loved and being in love gives you wings. You look radiant; you have that special aura around you that only a woman in love can have. Friends might ask what is happening with you or compliment how lovely you look… But you just smile… That’s what a woman does when she is happy. You just smile, keeping your happiness for yourself.

The conversations flow. With pictures of kisses, hearts, flowers. You tell him every detail about yourself, your work and your home. He tells how much he wishes to be with you soon. He says it all the time; he cannot wait to hold you in his arms. Not many details of his daily routine though. You send him your pictures; he wants to see you daily. Hell, he is so open to you now. He tells you his most secret desires. He says how much he wants to make love to you. Please be cautious. If it goes to that point where he might ask you for some intimate pictures of you, DON’T send him any, at all. Remember, you are talking to a scammer. It’s not genuine feeling in his messages, but a calculated play. With your nude pictures in his possession he has leverage: these pictures might be used to blackmail you in case the culmination part, where he leads the play now, fails. Same for the videos, it’s very easy to record them as you might know.

Now, let’s read carefully. He is getting to the point which was the main reason you talk: the culmination, the money extortion part. And he will start the process once he feels, you are in love with him and more importantly, you trust him.

There are several scenarios possible for ways to ask for money. I will list few of them, the most known, according to the role he plays.

“Payment for leave from service/contract”

A doctor from States on a contract with UN (?) in…this time, in Syria.

“Honey I'm not ok, the situation here is terrible”

“it's not easy here life is very dangerous and bloody here”

“those rebels are making the whole thing scary for us”

“lost some of my colleagues here. Hurrible”

“19 soldiers were killed today by the ISIS and I save 7 soldiers”

“They went on patrol and they were attacked by the ISIS”

There are no UN doctors working in Syria, no UN operations in Syria at all, except for the troops at the Syria Israel border. There are no UN medical personnel in Syria. The UN agency that is working in and around Syria is UNHCR, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees. If there are any doctors on the ground in Syria, they’re too busy to chat for hours online. Most military supporting personnel are stationed in Turkey where the US has medical facilities.

“I had my colleague who were deployed here together but have gone back to the States.. Because there wife have to apply for there leave”

“you can get out of here your wife or fiance have to help you write to UN to apply for your vacation ..before they can grant you grant you a leave”

“I would have leave here long ago because life is horrible and bloody here but it's because I don't have a fiance who will help me apply for my vacation leave..”

“I'm still going to be here for a period of time. Unless I seek for vacation before I can get out of here soon”

“I will go cancel my contract with them”

“if you could help me apply for my vacation leave I will go to my Head base commander to seek for vacation leave”

“According to the vacation process .... I was told by my commander to write a request vacation letter to the department of defense for my vacation to be approved and for my permission to leave the camp.”

“[email protected]”

“I will prepare a letter for you to forward to them”

“And I will send you there Email address”

“My name is Ann Smith I am from US. I am writing on behalf of my fiancé, Doctor Williams Mark, who is currently working with the United Nations Government in Syria for peacekeeping mission. I am writing to request for his leave vacation to be approved so that he can leave his deployed mission country and meet me here in my country.

Please Sir, let me know what will be requires for his leave to be approved soon for him to meet me here in my country.

Hope to hear back from you.

Yours sincerely,

Ann Smith”

“Honey that's letter with the email you will forward it to OK”

What he says is that he is giving you the email address of his superior, a general. Funny, that general uses @gmail.com, not his military email. That general is your man himself, of course. Your email will be received by your lover. You write the letter, word for word, that your beloved supplied you with. There you also provide all the information about yourself, including address, date of birth, occupation, and you attach a scanned copy of your ID, as he asks. You don’t have to wait too long for his reply. Here it is, in an hour or even sooner. You discover there’s a fee to pay for his leave.

“How much is it honey” (It's $6,500)

No military personnel or any supporting personnel in a war zone are charged money for leave. The military is like any other occupation. If one is entitled to leave, they just need to request it and get it approved by their superiors. No one is obligated to request leave on behalf of a military man or anyone employed by the military. A general officer will not correspond with you on behalf of a soldier or a doctor planning to take leave. Soldiers do not need a permission to get married, nor do they have to pay for early retirement.

There’s a name used by scammers for the leave from military service, a Liberty Pass. The Army and Air Force do not call a pass “Liberty,” but the Navy does.

“Liberty” is time off from work. Generally speaking, a military man gets 48 hours of liberty every weekend from close of business on Friday to first formation Monday morning. A special liberty can be requested for 72 hours, from the end of the day on Thursday until first formation on Monday. Or end of the day on Friday until first formation on Tuesday. If it’s more than 72 hours, it will be considered and applied for as Leave.

“Leave” is a specific permission from your chain of command to be absent for duty for up to 30 days at a time, depending on command and policy.

“Honey I'm increasingly convinced, you are the woman who the Lord delivered for me. True love comes from my heart most deeply, as well as serious and sincere I love you and I believe in you. soul mate it is a beauty from the Lord who has created for everyone and I make sure of the heart and soul that you are my soul mate. Loving you is my dream from the beginning I've known you, you are the woman i dream that I've been looking for, with all my heart and soul I picked you to accompany me until the end of my life as my wife and accept all the shortcomings and advantages in you”.

“Honey you will have to help me pay for it okay, so when I leave here and come to you I will pay you back the money”

“we earn good money but they pay it back to the state”

“You know that I don't have access to my account here and our funds is been paid back to the state, so once I leave here I will pay you back the money”

“Everything we do here is been taken care of by the UN. And there's no bank here because we are in a war zone”

“Honey you have to believe me we can't access our bank account from here”

This is another lie invented by scammers. The pay checks for military men, just like for anyone working anywhere, are deposited directly to the bank account they designated. They can use their debit or credit card just like anyone else. They can also access their bank accounts online, provided there’s a computer or phone available. They can cash checks at the officers’ club or Base Exchange. Most permanent bases have banks or the equivalent to do banking, including using debit cards and cheques. The only time an account is blocked is when the owner is under investigation or there was some illegal activity on the account, military or civilian likewise.

If you don’t know anything about the military, do research, ask questions.

Several other reasons given for demanding money are also related to inability to access bank accounts.

Replacing damaged machine

In order to complete the job, fulfil the contract obligation and get paid for the work done, a piece of important machinery must be replaced. You must help out, dear; he has no other means to pay for that damn machine.

Child maintenance fee

The child stays with the nanny and they need money for upkeep and tuition fees. Again, he cannot make a transfer to the nanny; he cannot access his bank account.

Ticket fee, boarding pass, luggage fee, overweight custom fee, immigration

These are pretty much straightforward. He wants to be with you so much, he cannot wait, but… “Honey, please pay for it, I will reimburse you once I am with you.” The payment would need to be sent via MoneyGram, Western Union and similar companies.

Raising money for a sick child

“My first son is not feeling well too”

“The nanny send me a mail today”

“By tomorrow there should be improvement because he has been taken to the hospital”

“He felt dizzy and fell”

“They have run test on him and they are waiting for the results”

“The nanny sent email again that my son is having kidney problem”

“So they want to do surgery for him”

“So since yesterday I have been looking for a way to raise the money that's why I didn't talk with you throughout yesterday”

“I don't have any cash in my account right now. The only money I had last month I used it to pay bills and I also lend my friend $15000. He has not paid back. I even call him yesterday. I am trying to raise the money my sweetheart. So if you don't hear from me don't worry I am trying to raise the money”

“I only have medical insurance for myself”

“don't have insurance under any insurance company. I thought it was not necessary for me”

“And the doctor told the nanny that I have to do the payment before three days”

“Will I loose my son just like that?”

“Do you even know the amount am looking for? Just $6000”

All military personnel have medical insurance for themselves and their immediate family members (spouse and/or children). Any treatment at a health care facility is covered by this medical insurance anywhere in the world. Family or friends are not required to raise money to help pay for medical expenses. As well, there’s no need to send money to buy food or pay for lodging to a military man in active combat zone.

Here’s yet another scenario, this time about an engineer, working as a contractor, building bridges in Kabul.

“Do you want to bring home very fast my love so we can be together my love?”

“the feneral can handle this”

“this is why we would go through the general”

“he is the head of the camp here”

“he is the Leader here”

In order for an engineer to cancel his contract, you must write a letter to this general, fearless Leader of all engineers-contractors. Your fiancée will provide the text. The name in the body of the template is in a different colour, to be replaced as the need arises. Today it is “Allen fang,” tomorrow it could be “john Smith.”

“Hello Mr. Austin Lord,

I write to you this letter for the purpose of my husband retirement on behalf of Engineer Allen fang, I would like him to retire as soon as possible to take responsibility and to accompany me as his wife.

Sir he has agreed to leave the camp, but he also need your orders.

So please tell me what I can do for him to return from active service soon and come to USA. as he has agreed.”

The reply from the general comes in half an hour, on Saturday, from an address ending @outlook.com. That reply is so touching. Especially the General’s signature: The General. In another hour, the problem’s solved. The contract termination is $15 000, $20 000 or $25 000, your choice.

Interestingly, that particular engineer had been building bridges in Kabul. All of a sudden, he must be transported from his ship. This scammer has used whatever was closest to the fictional scenario. I don’t think he read it thoroughly…

The “consignment box” scenario is used very often. Scammers have worked that version to perfection, they’ve used it so often. And it’s in the Playbook too. It’s an elaborate and complicated scenario. I will give a shortened version.

It could go like this: a military man finds a box of gold (or money) while on a mission. He needs to get it out of the war zone as soon as possible, where he cannot ensure its safekeeping. And who would be the most trusted person to keep it for him and most entitled to share the riches? Of course, it would be you, his forever love and partner. He starts the process of shipping it to you, gets you in touch with a shipping company (the scammer himself), which provides the instructions on what needs to be done in order to have the box with gold (money) delivered to your home. For a fee, obviously. The prices vary, from couple of thousands in US dollars to tens of thousands.

Deployed soldiers do not find large sums of money and do not need your help to get that money out of the country, first. Second, who ever heard of a delivery that would cost thousands of dollars?

A similar scheme features a soon-to-retire contractor. His pay, collected recently, in a chunk of cash, and some other valuables, he keeps in a box. But it’s not safe to leave it unattended while he is at work. He is happy; he has you, his friend, and his lover who he can trust. Another obvious lie. Cash payments for work are unheard of in our time.

Some of seemingly modest, even casual requests for help sound like this:

“I've been trying to get some update done in my Apple Desktop But the signal is very sluggish and I really need to get the apps updated. Don't know if it will be Ok for you to get an iTunes gift card for me!!”

“You can get it in the Store/Walmart”

“$100 1or2 Will do But get the one you can”

“Once you get the card. Turn to the backside and remove the bond, take a photo of it and send to me”

Or like this,

“I could not get some iTunes card on my phone”

“I looked for it at the stores close to me yesterday but couldn’t find it and they promised it will be available next week”

“It’s a card I use to buy musics,movies on my iPhone”

“And podcast”

“Without it the phone is kind of useless lol”

“You help check it out tomorrow if there is so you can get one for me”

“You get that of 100$ into two. Two cards separately so I can load one on my laptop and the other on my phone”

“You just scratch off the pin and take a pic of the pins on the cards and send to me. With the pin I can easily load it”

“You understand how I explained it?”

“Two cards, 100$ each”

But no matter how small the amounts, do not believe it will end there and later there would not be any more requests. This is just a test, if you totally trust this man and will agree to do what’s asked of you, more requests will surely follow. And they will not be for a modest amount.

There’s another scheme to get your money which is much more elaborate. He will send you his bank login details; you log in and see the money in it and the transactions made. It will be hard to detect that it's not real. The account might be with Bank of America and look proper, but it’s not. He can transfer the money to your account or, according to him; his company will deposit his pay into your account. You see the transaction, which looks normal. Then you are asked to transfer the money to him. You do so… And your account goes into overdraft. Because the transfer to you did not happen. No money came into your account, it was not real.

You might receive a cheque from your beloved that looks credible. You deposit the cheque into your account and make a transfer of the same amount to the account he indicated. Your bank stops the cheque, identifying it as fake. But your money is already gone.

No matter how trustworthy this man may seem, your banking information must not be shared. If you did, notify your bank immediately. The same is true for your government issued ID. All this information is accumulated, exchanged, traded and sold, even if your scammer does not use it himself. Also, if your account is used to deposit the money and transfer it as per his instructions, you might be participating in money laundering. And that makes you an accomplice to criminal activity.

There are also the scenarios using names and photos of celebrities, like Henry Cavill, Omari Hardwick. The real Twitter, Instagram, Facebook profiles of actors and actresses are marked Official. Anyone posting comments on their official pages might be targeted. There are fake “huge fans” following the profiles of celebrities. They watch these profiles closely and may target anyone who posts comments. If you post an appreciation comment, you might suddenly get a private message from the same very “real” actor. From there a secret love would grow: nobody must know the celebrity is involved with you. The same scheme is at work here: he manipulates you emotionally and gains your trust. He will ask you for money to support his charity organization. For example, he is having issues with a manager and needs to settle things ASAP as he cannot spend from the charity organization’s account as per contract terms. This is the simplest version of the plot. Not many scammers work this scenario. The money comes in bits, not six figures.

There are many more scripts and scenarios in the scamming business. All are tested and played for years, passed from an experienced scammer to a beginner, from a trainer to a trainee. For sure, some individuals might come up with more intricate and elaborate schemes. Your personal experience might differ from what others have gone through. The scenarios dissected here are widely used and discussed publicly. But not all women will talk about their encounters. Some are ashamed that they fell for a scammer and trusted him; they consider it their own fault. They were left with a broken heart and lost their trust in people. In some cases, families were destroyed. People were left on the streets, evicted from their homes due to huge bank debts. Even lives were lost as some, the most sensitive, could not bear the bitter truth. I don’t think the money loss is the gravest here. What of wounds that are invisible? Is it possible for them to heal, ever?

Lately, more and more scammers, most of them the beginners, have come into the open, readily admitting they were forced to work in that business, and pleading for forgiveness from the women they’ve contacted, only to start asking for money, openly to help to pay an electricity bill, tuition, rent, food etc. It’s true, most African countries are very poor, where people have no chance of finding a job, let alone a well-paid job. Nonetheless, this is another form of scamming, a constant demand for help, non-stop; or requests to bring them to your comfortable country. They even may claim they have genuine love to you, a twenty-something is in love with a sixty-plus lady, hmm. Their favorite argument: “Age is just a number.” And if you believed him, you will become a reliable source of income for him, a sugar mommy, Gold, while he goes on working in the scamming business simultaneously, showering you with the same words of love he sends to the prospective victims of his scamming projects, with the same level of affection put into those words. And in truth that level of affection is at ZERO, NONE. There's a genuine love, but to your bank account, not to you. He is cold and indifferent. For him all is business as usual.

On that topic, here’s what another scam hunter shared with me, the real thoughts of one of the scammers, which gives you a taste of the mockery and the feeling of superiority he has for his victims.

“I have nothing with you, I did not kill your husband and did not look for who killed your husband”

“I don’t want you to feel bad, I want to tell you that life is how God created it so that you cannot stop what started even before you were born, accept my advice or continue to deceive yourself”

“you call us a goat, but you people, real goats, which animals pay money over the Internet without ever seeing a person, I wonder if you have a brain at all”

“you people, a real person with a brain, I don’t think so, because your stupidity is not something that you can write home about, that you need to be ashamed of what you are fighting for”

“you women, real fools, can easily be deceived by lies from the Internet, if I were your brother, I would give you a heavy blow, even your people seek love like cows, someday I am ashamed of you, you squirrels are nothing write home you're a shame for a God’s creation”

“you white are real fools because we are the ones who get the money”

“I can’t wait for my stupid woman to send me her 1,500 euros tomorrow”

“keep fooling yourself we keep getting rich bye”

“we are so wise and the bravest on the planet, no one can do what we do, so we are unique”

“everyone will go to hell do you think I live in cool classmates, pay me every day, and I live outside my biggest dream Ohhh, you are such a fool that we live better than you ever think I'm sorry, I need to get back to work, we will contact later, let me go check on my stupid women, spend a great day what God created you people ooo, I have so much pity, accept my heart, everything will be alright”

“this is only a fool who will pay money to someone via the Internet”

There’s something else I have to mention here. Some women become addicted to the sweet talk of scammers. They realize perfectly well who is writing to them, they know what will follow. Nevertheless, these women even try to start the communication themselves, hunting the sites in search for them, looking for their dose. I have been contacted by several, urging me to leave the scammers alone, not to send their profile numbers to site administrators for deletion. They would not be reasoned with; my explanations about the danger for other people, who are unaware of scammers’ intentions, fell on deaf ears. The unsuspecting ones will suffer if a scammer’s profile remains online. But these ladies stubbornly argued with me to leave scammers in peace, telling me how much attention they were getting from those fake generals, doctors and engineers. They had become antisocial, distancing themselves from people surrounding them: family, friends. They were victims of the scamming business too.

I’m reasoning with you, sister.

DO a search by image on Google or TinEye of his photos.

READ carefully his messages. Pay attention to any contradictions that might be in them.

WATCH for language mistakes.

BE wary of sudden love to you and plans for your life together from third or fourth day of meeting you, online and not in person, mind you.

NEVER send your intimate pictures.

NEVER share your bank information or send a copy of your ID.

THINK before you jump to help someone you’ve met online but never in person.

STOP all communication if anything makes you worried and you start doubting.

If it does not feel right, probably it is not, heard that before?

Every year, an unbelievable amount of money is lost to scamming around the globe. These losses are not only to romance scams, but online credit scam, inheritance scams, lottery scams…With the latter only people’s greed and wish to get rich overnight turn them into victims. But the romance scams hit probably the hardest because they hurt honest compassionate people.

This story has a purpose. It’s to warn those who are unaware, to keep them away from harm by sharing the knowledge I’ve acquired over the last several years fighting scammers. Knowledge is power. Be safe.