Five things you should know about psychologically good gifts

It's not the price that counts

Studies show that a gift does not automatically go down better with the recipient if we dig deep into our pockets. Nevertheless, many people apparently believe this. This is shown, for example, by a study conducted by Francis Flynn and Gabrielle Adams at Stanford University. The scientists asked their subjects to imagine that they were giving a friend either a CD or an iPod as a high school graduation present. Subsequently, the test participants were asked to assess, among other things, how happy their friend would be about the gift. On average, the subjects clearly thought the more expensive iPod was the better gift.

Flynn and Adams then carried out the counter test: they asked other test participants to put themselves in the role of the recipient. Now the result looked different: Regardless of whether it was an iPod or a CD, the subjects liked both gifts about the same. In similar thought experiments, the researchers also asked test subjects about engagement rings and birthday gifts they had actually received in the past. The results always showed that the price tag actually plays only a minor role in gifts. In order to avoid unnecessarily overpriced gifts, it can be therefore also meaningful to specify a price limit with family and friends, guess the scientists.

Better practical than useless

Practical gifts are often better than fancy presents that are "well-intentioned" but that the recipient can't really do much with. This was demonstrated in 2014 by researchers led by Nathan Novemsky of Yale University. They asked test subjects to choose which gift they would prefer to give a friend: a voucher for a fancy five-star restaurant that was about an hour away from the recipient's home, or an equivalent voucher for a normal middle-class restaurant that was just around the corner. Most of the test subjects tended toward the fancy restaurant. Fiddlesticks! - thought the test participants, however, were asked which gift they themselves would prefer. Most of them opted for the simpler restaurant, which was right next door.

In another study by Novemsky, students had to decide whether they would prefer to give a fellow student a noble, heavy pen for special occasions or a plain, light ballpoint pen. Here, too, the gift-givers tended toward the noble pen, but the recipients preferred the more practical ballpoint pen, which, by the way, was also less expensive. Psychologists explain the fact that opinions about what is a good gift often differ so much with the fact that the gift-givers often worry mainly about how much a gift costs and how it works. The person who receives the gift, however, usually sees neither the price tag nor the effort behind it. For him, other aspects count - namely, above all, how he can use it in his everyday life.

Goodwill" saves bad gifts at best

How well-intentioned a gift is - as the above-mentioned studies already indicate - actually plays hardly any role for the recipient. In 2012, Yan Zhang from the National University of Singapore and Nicholas Epley from the University of Chicago investigated the question of whether it is really only the thought that counts when giving a gift, as is so often claimed. Unfortunately, the results are sobering: Goodwill saves bad gifts at best, but with good gifts, the recipient often doesn't really care what the giver was thinking. Moreover, this effect only comes into play when two people who are particularly close to each other give each other a gift. If, on the other hand, we give our boss a particularly inappropriate gift, no matter how well-intentioned it may be, it will probably not improve the working relationship.

Zahn and Epley believe that we first need a concrete impetus to think about the motivations behind a gift. Accordingly, we only begin to ponder intentions and empathize with the other person when his or her behavior is out of the ordinary - for example when a good friend unexpectedly gives us something totally awful. Then we assume: "He meant well," and this actually enhances the gift a little in our perception.

Wishing gifts are best received

The easiest way to give someone a good gift can often be to simply ask them what they want. After all, not only children, who classically write a wish list for Santa Claus at Christmas, but also many adults actually prefer a gift they have chosen themselves to a surprise present. This is also shown by an experiment conducted by Francis Flynn together with Francesca Gino from Harvard University. For this, the researchers recruited 90 students and staff from another university and randomly divided them into pairs. One participant was then asked to compile a wish list of ten products from the Internet mail-order company Amazon and send it to his or her experimental partner. The participant could then decide whether he wanted to select a gift from the list or whether he would prefer to select a gift of the same price from Amazon on his own. In the end, the recipients were told what their partner had chosen for them and was allowed to rate how much they liked the gift.

Most of the test subjects were much happier about a gift from their list. Surprisingly, they also saw it as an expression of special effort and attention - something that one would actually expect more from gifts that the giver had thought up himself during an hours-long shopping spree. Nevertheless, the same trend also emerged when the scientists asked their test participants which birthday or wedding gifts they had particularly liked in the past. Here, gifts from the wish list also performed better than surprise gifts.

Spectacular packaging can also backfire

In the eyes of many people, a bit of colorful paper and a bow are what actually make a gift a real present. And in fact, as early as 1992, studies showed that a simple gift gives the recipient more pleasure if it has been nicely wrapped beforehand.

Possibly one should not overdo it with the wrapping, however - means at least Nathan Novemsky. His current research results indicate that sometimes plain packaging can be better than pompous packaging. The reason: spectacular packaging also raises the recipient's expectations of spectacular content. If the gift then fails to deliver what the bow, tulle, and tag promise, the disappointment is all the greater.