Fitting In

We all want a place to call ours. We all want to feel like we are apart of something and fit in. It’s part of our nature. It’s an instinct to survive because without someone around it used to be the chances of survival were not very high. Now we are at less risk of dying from lack of heat or food if we are alone. But we are at just a great of risk of dying from mental health because we are along.

Humans need other humans. We quite literally need love in order to survive. There are scientfic studies that show babies who are neglected at a young age especially with touch either lose weight, find their growth stunted or even die. Touch is a natural way humans show love and affection to one another and without it we are less likely to survive.

As we grow up and enter into society we find ourselves craving attention and needing to fit in. We are attracted to groups of people who accept us for who we are. We are also angered by people who don’t want to give us attention or try to push us away.

We live in a society that is connected to more people than ever with the internet and yet our mental health is the worse it has ever been. Why is this you may wonder. I think it has to do with this desire to be loved. Without the internet it is easy to find a close group of friends and family who you can bond with and create close relationships with to feel loved. But now with the internet there is so many new groups of people we have access to. And with this access come comparison and judgement. We can see how people halfway around the world live and wish that would be our lives. We now have more points of comparison with others and tend to look for ”dreams” that make us feel like our lives aren’t good enough.

We may think that social media and the internet is the best thing to happen to humans but I would argue it might be one of the worst things to happen to the human race. Now before you start hating on me for hating on the internet just know I am like you and live a large portion of my life on the internet and social media. In fact I have the internet to thank for my beautiful fiancee, soon to be wife. We met on an online dating app, so obviously not everything on the internet is bad.

We just have to be cautious with who we are finding community with and make sure they have real things in common with you besides and internet connection and two eyes and legs. If we use the internet wisely and as a tool we can thrive with new friends and community. But if we are unwise or not careful it can become a mental health trap that drags us down a dark scary path.

My last warning I have for this post is to make sure you don’t allow your intenert community or friends be enough for you. Find yourself a group of friends that can meet face to face and share real life together. There is no closer bond than that of real life community.

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