First Kiss

First Kiss

In the fall of 1977, Ben Whirling got his first taste of love when he came back to eighth grade a changed man. And it was the oddest most superficial thing in the world that had made all the difference. His hair had been a thick unmanaged mousey brown his first eight years at Saint Alphonsus, but three long months in the swimming pool over the summer had turned it into a bright and finer golden blonde that glowed around his face like a halo. He stepped off the school bus totally unaware that the world as he knew it would never be the same.

He’d always been kind of a shy and goofy kid taking a back seat to the four or five good friends that he regularly ran around with. In fifth grade his whole gang started to show interest in girls, a development that was particularly difficult for Ben to embrace since he couldn’t even make eye contact with a girl, let alone talk to one. But then, that same year there was Jeanne Bateman, who was on the swim team, and whom he regularly had five-minute or even longer conversations with while they waited for their parents to come pick them up after practice. At that early age of ten, Jeanne was Ben’s idea of the dream perfect girlfriend. She was the smartest girl in his class and ever since she had first sat down next to him in her red one-piece team suit, with a soft thick towel wrapped around her waist, wearing her reading glasses and holding yet another dog-eared paperback, he had been in love. She had a mess of wet dirty-blonde hair swept off of her sparkling blue yellow eyes that flitted about purposefully as she talked about Gerald Ford hitting people with golf balls, or last night’s episode of Happy Days – and with such an ease about her – it seemed like he was talking to one of the guys. When she laughed, the gap between her two front teeth showed and Ben thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He worked hard trying to figure out what would make her laugh, just so he could see it again and again.

He hadn’t even really noticed that his hair made him look that different, it had been a gradual thing that happened over the course of the summer, when he stepped up to two-a-day practices that had him in the water for up to five hours a day. On the twenty-minute bus ride to school he had sunk into his usual seat on the left three from the back, and stared out the window like he always did. But when he stepped off the bus and walked over to say hey to Jason, Frankie, and Kelleher who were hanging out at their spot near the edge of the blacktop, Kelleher yelled, “Cotton top!” and Ben felt the back of his neck getting warm. “What happened to your hair?” Frankie echoed.

Then Jason, the coolest guy Ben ever knew walked over to him and put his arm over his shoulder and said, “Man it’s good to see you!” making everything right with the world again. Still he couldn’t help notice that several of the girls in their plaid uniforms with crisp white shirts underneath were whispering to each other and pointing in his direction.

The bell rang, and everybody went to the church for the first mass of the year. Ben looked at the beautiful stained glass depictions of saints and angels that he’d stared at all his life, and then turned around and saw Jeanne Bateman in the pew behind him. Wow, she looked different. Gorgeous was more like the word. She’d always been sort of a simple-kind-of-pretty when she was younger, but now she had an undeniable beauty that was radiating from her, and Ben was not the only one to notice it. He grinned at her and she flashed her beloved smile at him, “Hey Ben, great to see you…you must have been in the pool a lot this summer…I mean, your hair!” Jeanne had quit swimming that year, and he had not seen her since the end of seventh grade. Now he was staring at this incredible beauty that he’d been in love with for three years and she was talking to him, in front of everybody, just like it was only the two of them waiting for their rides. “Yeah, I guess it got a little lighter,” he muttered.

“A little?” she laughed that beautiful laugh, “You’re a blonde now!” And before he could even get a little bummed out about it she added, “It looks so cool!”

Sister Marina, the principal cleared her throat at the microphone, a well-known indication that it was time for everyone to hush up and face forward. Ben turned back and pretended to listen along with everybody else, but all he could think about was Jeanne. As the day went on, Ben found out that Jeanne was not the only girl who thought his new blonde hair, “looked cool.” Kelley Farrel, the first girl in his class with breasts – and an attitude to go with them – had cornered him against the wall between classes reaching out and running her fingers through it proclaiming, “It’s like cotton candy.” Other girl’s made comments too. This was crazy, he thought, he’d been practically invisible to them his entire life. Not anymore it seemed. Football practice after school and the guys were making jokes, but it was obvious most of them were jealous of the new attention he was getting.

When his mom picked him up from football to bring him to swim, she asked how his first day went and he looked out the window hiding the new smile in his eyes, “Pretty good, I guess.”

Later that week Ben found that there was a whole hidden society at school he’d just gained entry to. The girls seemed to have some sort of secret organization that assigned girlfriends and boyfriends, Aimee Smith and Anne Collins approached him with their notebooks open, holding pens and asked who he was interested in. “We’re taking a poll,” added Aimee.

Ben blushed, not knowing quite what to say. Jeanne Bateman was ringing hard in his head, but instead he offered, “Oh I don’t know, I like all the girls.” This seemed to be a really good response judging from the way that Anne and Aimee said, “Thank you,” and ran off giggling.

No doubt about it, Ben needed to get a phone put in his room now, how else was he ever going to get to talk Jeanne alone again? He told his dad about his idea of installing a phone-jack, and that he had seen one at Radio Shack that was only one dollar and ninety-three cents. “I’ll buy it and install it myself.”

His dad laughed and said, “Sure.” Ben bought the phone-jack the very next day, and had it installed by that evening. His dad told him he’d be allowed to take the phone into his room for one half-hour each night, “…only after your homework is finished. That’s the rule.” Ben was elated. That first night he sat on his bed staring at the phone, realizing of course that he had no one’s phone number he could call other than the guys…but still, he had a phone in his bedroom!

Recess the next week, and a bunch of guys were hanging out by the red iron arrow-topped fence that sectioned off the playground from the rest of the school. Joe Thompson, who was a year older, having been held back when they were in second grade, was holding court. "What’s the furthest base you’ve gotten to with a girl Blondie?" He was looking straight at Ben, who hesitated before he said, "Uh, first I guess."

Joe laughed and the other boys followed suit. "What do you mean, you guess?" Ben was on the spot now, not really sure what Joe was asking. Joe jumped back in at him, "Don't you even know the bases? First base is you kiss her, second you get some titty, third you get in her pants, and fourth is all the way." The other guys nodded their heads in agreement.

Ben was embarrassed of his ignorance, and yet something about it didn't make sense to him, "First base is you kiss her?"

"That's right altar boy," said Leon an ugly guy who already had armpit hair and a bit of a beard.

"Well, if you’re gonna kiss a girl, you have to be alone with her first...and then you have to talk to her, I'd say kissing ought to be like third base."

"What?" Joe laughed incredulously.

"Well, have you have ever been alone with a girl and talked to her?" Ben fired back. Joe was silent, his face turning a little red. "In that case," Ben continued, I’ve been to second because I've definitely hung out alone with a girl and talked to her." The other guys were kind of scratching their heads. The bell rang saving any more debate on the subject but Ben walked away from it feeling like maybe he knew something about girls after all.

That weekend there was going to be a “Pot Party” at Gwen Delauney’s house, and word was circulating…everybody was going. Ben hadn’t even had his first beer yet, and now everybody was in to pot? When he asked Jason if he was going, and if he was going to smoke pot, Jason laughed, "No man, it's a parents-out-of-town-party. P.O.T. get it?"

Ben's mom dropped him off at Gwen's house along with Jason, Frankie and Kelleher. "Y'all have fun boys, I'll be back at 10 o'clock sharp.” When they walked in the house Ben thought he was in a dream, the lights were turned down low and everybody was standing around talking like they were grownups in a movie.

Aimee walked up to Ben and gave him a glass of punch, "There’s supposed to be some beer in a little while…Are you going to be in the make-out contest?" Ben didn't know what to say, so he acted like he couldn't hear her over the music, "Thanks, do you know where the bathroom is?" “Make out contest,” what the hell was that?

An hour later everybody was paired up, and Ben was still searching for Jeanne Bateman who had never showed. They were about to start the contest when he saw Aimee making a move towards him, “Do you still need a partner?”

“Uh, no…I’ve kind of got a cold.”

“Oh okay.” Then she turned to the group who were sitting in pairs – the girls in the guy’s laps – covering the couches, chairs, and everywhere else, and said, “Okay here we go!” She put the needle on a record, and the first few notes of Stairway to Heaven came out of the stereo and everyone just started making out. Ben was almost in shock, I mean, they were really kissing! How did they know how to do that? He milled around with the other wallflowers for a little while before escaping to the kitchen to see what time it was – 9:22 – his mom would be there in thirty-eight minutes. He tried to stay in the kitchen for a while, but curiosity got the best of him and he made a few laps around the living room and den, amazed at just how hot and heavy this party had turned. When the song ended, someone put on I’m Your Boogie Man by KC and the Sunshine Band and everybody got up and started dancing. There wasn’t even a prize for the contest. Ben had a little trouble wrangling everybody together for when his mom arrived, but finally they were all stuffed into her station wagon, and on the way back home.

At school the next week, Shelly Mack was caught passing around an envelope from one-hour-photo filled with pictures of everyone kissing at the party, and Sr. Marina had called the parents of all the kids in the photos to tell them. Ben was never so happy that he had never been kissed.

Football season was almost over, and still Ben had not worked up the nerve to ask Jeanne for her phone number…what was the point? He couldn’t drive yet. How was he ever going to get to be alone with her? Aimee Smith and Anne Collins approached Ben again, “Somebody likes you…do you like anybody right now?”

“Um, you know…” Ben trailed off.

“Well, Michelle Boudreaux has a crush on you,” Aimee jumped in, with Anne checking her notes and nodding. Michelle Boudreaux was tall and beautiful and sweet. A cheerleader with long golden locks and a dazzling smile…and a good friend of Jeanne’s who was also a cheerleader. “Do you like her?” Aimee asked as Anne waited pen poised in hand.

“Um yeah, sure, I like Michelle.” And that was that. Fifteen minutes later he was alone at the end of the walkway talking to Michelle, who was glowing with laughter…and damn she looked great! This is how it happens, huh? They were standing really close and she put her hand on his arm a few times to emphasize her point. Wow, were they going to just start kissing right here?

But then he actually started listening to Michelle and heard her say, “Kellerher is such a goob, right?” Goob? He had never heard that word before, but figured it was short for goober. And he wasn’t sure why, but the second she said that about his friend Kellerher, he immediately stopped liking her. Michelle was tall, even kind of gangly when he thought about it, who was she to call off anyone as a goob? This had to be the shortest set up in the history of Aimee and Anne.

Ben made an excuse and got out of there quick scrambling to find Aimee to let her know, “I don’t like Michelle…I mean not like that.”

The Snapper Bowl was coming up fast signifying the end of football season, and Ben’s parents had actually signed the waiver allowing him to go. The whole team and the cheerleaders were taking a bus trip to Panama City, Florida to play in the tournament. And they were all going to spend the night…in a hotel. Jeanne Bateman was definitely going too, Ben heard her tell Cindy Martin himself. This was it!

Ben put on his favorite shirt, an old tattered brown flannel that Jeanne, and quite a few other girls had said he looked good in…but his mom walked into his room while he was packing his bag and said, “Oh honey, you can’t wear that shirt anymore, it’s falling apart.”

“But mom, it’s my favorite!”

“I’m sorry, but you are not wearing that.”

Ben had heard the tone in her voice before, so he gave in quickly, “Okay, I’ll take it off.”

They got to the parking lot and the Greyhound bus was already filled with kids. Ben hugged his mom and got on quickly grabbing a seat next to Jason. Without a moment’s pause Ben took his shirt off and grabbed his old favorite one out of his bag and put it back on. Only when he finished changing had he seen that his mom – still standing with the other parents – had a perturbed and disappointed look on her face having just seen what he had done. But the bus was already pulling away, and now he was free. And Jeanne Bateman was sitting only two seats away.

The road trip to Panama City would take nine hours, and they would not arrive there until after nightfall. Halfway through the trip a game of Truth or Dare started up in the back of the bus. Ben kept his eye on Jeanne, he wanted to be the first one to step in and say, dare, if she was in the game. Then as if his dreams were finally coming true, Jeanne Bateman came over and sat next to him. “Hey,” she said smiling at him.

“Hey,” he grinned back.

“Do you want to come back and play Truth or Dare?” she whispered low so no one else would hear.

Ben was about to explode with happiness, but did his best to play it cool, “Um sure, are you gonna play?”

“No, but Michelle is back there and she really wants to kiss you.”

Ben’s face fell, but not near as far as his heart, “Oh, yeah uh, no I probably shouldn’t go back there then.”

“Why not?”

“Well, I mean, I don’t really like Michelle…I mean I like her okay, but you know, just not like that.” I’m in love with you Jeanne Bateman. Don’t you know that?

“Come on Ben, jeez it’s only a kiss.”

Why was this happening? “I just think if I kiss Michelle it might give her the wrong idea.”

This seemed to stump Jeanne, who studied him for a long moment, then she leaned in closer and asked in an even quieter voice, “Ben, are you gay? I mean, it’s okay if you are.”

He wanted to grab her right then and plant one on her, but instead he simply looked at her hurt, “My god no!” He had only even learned what gay meant about a year ago, and still wasn’t quite sure he understood it completely.

“I didn’t mean anything by it I just thought since you didn’t want to kiss her, you know?” She was being so damn sweet and caring about it all that she was crushing his heart even more.

Two hours later, Aimee sat next to Ben, and said, “Guess who likes you?” Ben was still reeling from the whole Jeanne Bateman thinks I’m gay episode, and couldn’t even respond. “Dawn Boudreaux, Michelle’s older sister.”

“Huh?”

“Yeah she’s on the bus trip with us,” Aimee said pausing for dramatic effect, “And she’s in High School.” Who was she? Where was she? “She’s up near the front of the bus, and no one’s sitting with her.” After Aimee pointed the way, Ben stood up and trudged up the bus toward the empty seat next to Dawn Boudreaux’s tiny head with it’s fine brunette hair limply falling down her back and across her shoulders.

“Hi, I’m Ben.” Dawn turned around and…my god she was absolutely gorgeous – the polar opposite of her sister Michelle – she was petite and quiet and had eyes that made him want to melt. And most importantly, she liked Ben…it had been verified.

He sat next to her for thirty minutes and couldn’t get over how quiet and meek and sweet she was…just so very sweet. Finally he had to get up to use the bathroom, so he excused himself and said he would be back. When he came out of the bathroom, Aimee and Michelle were waiting for him. “Are you going to ask Dawn to go with you?” one of them said.

“Um…” was all that came out of his mouth before,

“She really likes you,” it was her sister Michelle, with only the slightest hint of sadness in her eyes.

“Uh, yeah I guess I’ll ask her then.” The news traveled the length of the bus before Ben could even make it back to her. He sat down next to Dawn and nervously stared straight ahead. Finally after what seemed like an interminable silence, he spoke, “Okay, so uh, you know I’m gonna ask you this, and I know I’m gonna ask you this, so I’m just going to go ahead and ask you. Will you go with me?”

Dawn beamed, “Yes!” They held hands for the last fifteen minutes of the trip as the news tittered back and forth throughout the bus.

When they pulled up to the hotel and everybody was being assigned room keys, Aimee walked up and whispered to Ben that there was going to be a game of Truth of Dare under the stairwell in five minutes. Ben threw his bag on the bed and pulled out his toothbrush and toothpaste. Five minutes later he walked down the stairs and there she was floating on angel’s wings…and definitely angel’s strings as their whole group of friends gathered around and someone said, “Ben goes first.”

“Dare.”

“I dare Ben to kiss Dawn for ten seconds.” He leaned in and realized his nose was too big to reach her lips, so at the last second he turned his head and Dawn latched on and kissed him into oblivion.

>>>

They lost the football game and it was a long sad ride home. Back at school Ben and Dawn kept in touch with thirty-minute phone calls and sending notes back and forth through her sister Michelle. It wasn’t until the Christmas holidays were upon them that Ben finally admitted to himself he would never be able to see her again until he could drive – which wouldn’t happen for another two years.

"You are the most amazing girl I have ever known, but..."

He sent Dawn the break-up note…along with a small fake gold necklace that he had bought and never given to Jeanne Bateman.

* * *