Find Out How You Can Have a Good Relationship with Your In-Laws!

The relationship with in-laws, with the parents of the life partner, is often tense. Are you tired of seeing your mother-in-law constantly poking her nose into your business, subtly criticizing you in the form of unsolicited advice, and sighing dramatically because her dear boy doesn't have a better wife and housewife?

Are you tired of constantly being criticized and hearing your father-in-law how he hopes that his dear daughter will find a "suitable" man because he deserves more?

Classic scenarios - the relationship with in-laws is often tense due to the nature of this relationship: on the one hand, in-laws become close relatives, they are your family, so they are part of your life; on the other hand, there are almost strangers who rush into your private life, telling you what and how to do.

You may feel divided between the duty to respect them and the desire to please them and the desire to see your life without indiscreet interventions from your life partner's parents.

Do you know the saying "don't just marry the person, but the whole family"? Sometimes it seems ironically true: overnight, your in-laws become your partner's kind parents, wealthy relatives who seem to want to control what's going on in your family.

I ask indiscreet questions, give unsolicited advice, criticize (more or less subtly), come on unannounced visits to see "how things are." Worse, they sometimes manipulate both you and your life partner with talent: when they are rejected or when they feel rejected, they "subtly" remind you how much you owe them, how much they have helped you. waiting for gratitude, and gratitude means allowing them just about anything!

Your relationship with your in-laws depends a lot on your life partner's relationship with them, with his parents. If he has become somewhat dependent on his parents and allows them to enter his life invasively, then they will get into your life together.

A woman may feel threatened by her mother-in-law, even jealous of her relationship with her husband (the man who always remains "his mother's son"). A man may feel inadequate, being criticized by his father-in-law, made to believe that he is not good enough.

The relationship with the in-laws is not easy: but it is important to try to maintain a better relationship with them, even if you don't even like them: for your family and your marriage.

Your relationship with your life partner may suffer when your relationship with your mother-in-law is conflicted. Your life partner feels trapped in the middle: between you and his parents. You complain about his parents, they about you: and the partner does not know how to proceed; whatever side you take, it will go wrong.

But what does a good relationship with in-laws mean? Not a conflicted relationship: overlooking certain things that irritate your in-laws, without starting a family war. Because a conflicted relationship with in-laws can lead to a conflicted relationship with your life partner: you criticize his parents; he/she feels the duty to protect them…

Of course, some things can be overlooked (such as that unsolicited advice or indiscreet questions) and some things cannot be tolerated (such as permanent invasion in your married life). It is also important how you show your in-laws what you will accept and what you will not accept, in a calm, respectful but firm manner.

A long-distance relationship with in-laws does not mean a good relationship, even if it seems great to you: you only have contact with them during the holidays, so you got rid of the small inconveniences most of the time. But keeping the extended family together is a good thing.

Maintaining a good and close relationship with your in-laws shows your life partner that you care about him - it's his family, so you don't have to move away from him completely. In addition, it is good for children to spend time with a large, close-knit family, stay with their grandparents and get to know them. Grandparents play an important role for children: so the relationship with in-laws is important from this point of view as well.

However, a close relationship with in-laws - such as daily conversations and frequent visits - can cause other problems. In addition to invading them in your family life, being too close to your life partner's parents can upset him/her: he or she may feel "cornered," as if you are teaming up with his or her parents against him or her.

At any misunderstanding between the two of you, your life partner will feel unjust, knowing that his parents are on your side (especially true in the case of the wife's relationship with her partner's parents).

Therefore, a good relationship with in-laws means finding a balance. They are now your family, so you should not try to remove them and you should try to avoid open conflicts. But at the same time, you have to set up barriers from the beginning - without allowing them to control your life, manipulate you and get you wrong.

What does a good relationship with in-laws mean:

Accept that they are part of the family, so don't push them away; try to get to know them - maybe you might even like them if you give them a chance. Set days to spend time with your family (more often than not), especially when you have children.

But no matter how much you want them to like you, don't do what they ask you to do, don't follow their advice and requests if you don't like them; politely refuse them, but don't play them.

Don't let yourself be manipulated and show that, although you appreciate their opinion, you will do what you think is appropriate in your family (especially when offering advice about your relationship with your life partner or children).

Do not let them interfere in your relationship with your life partner: neither directly (ignore their subtle criticisms and do not start arguing), nor indirectly (avoid criticizing their parents too often, because they will feel obliged to defend them). Your relationship with your life partner is your priority.

Show them appreciation, respect, and gratitude. Even if you don't see much for what you would be grateful for, to say "thank you", to speak kindly to them, to tell them how much it will help them create a positive relationship (when they help you with anything, don't forget to show them appreciation and gratitude).

After all, parents want to see a sign of appreciation and gratitude from their children: offer it to them, even if they are your partner's parents.