Finally.

Dream Date

Matt and I met fourteen years ago in an AOL chatroom; I, just coming off of a seven year relationship and he, just looking for a little fun. We were in our mid 20s then - no expectations or the realization of what that first “hi” would lead to. Our conversations eventually transitioned to the phone and the languid flow of communication meant calls regularly lasting for six hours and ending with my Motorola phone needing an immediate charge. Both still living at home, we kept our voices down and lights off but the fluid string of laughs and eventual "I love you(s)," persisted.

I was a non-driver and lifelong New Yorker and he was a West Virginian self-proclaimed country boy. And while we wanted to meet, we seemed worlds apart though only 4 ½ hours away from each other. Attempts were made to “date” long-distance, but these things rarely work out. And as such, we remained friends - best friends.

Matt would go on to date local girls and do his thing while I eventually dated as well, with Matt an ever present force in my heart and my mind. I did however, get married seven years later. Matt and I remained flirtatious friends with a dynamic that could not die, regardless of circumstances. That’s why it was so sudden and perhaps tragic when we ended our then nine year friendship over a rather trivial matter. Truth be told, I got excessively irate (likely with the situation, though I did not realize that at the time) and severed ties with Matt. Reflecting back, I know I was trying to spare myself the pain of facing a love that just never seemed on time, all while putting my marriage on the back-burner.

And so, time went on. Over the next five years, my marriage began to deteriorate. It was not meant to be. My heart was always firmly placed in someone else’s hands. I was still dreaming about Matt at night, while doing my best impression by day of a person who was completely over it. I tried reaching out on social media several times, always to extend him birthday wishes, only to be met with no reply - until, that random Wednesday afternoon.

I was at work when I was alerted by that all too familiar “ding” by my phone. I casually unlocked my phone to inquire about a notification I would normally dismiss since I was busy, but felt drawn to check on anyway. I immediately saw a friend request on social media - it was Matt. I felt an instant sting of shock and then calm. I said out loud, "Oh my God, it's Matt."

My initial thought process was, “Play it cool, Vanessa.” So I messaged him a fairly swift but mellow, “Hi Matt, how are you doing?”

His delay in response seemed intentional as if he were playing it cool as well. Some time later that evening, he responded with a simple, “Hello,” followed by an uptick of concern over having not heard from me for so long.

Over the course of the next few days, I revealed the impending end of my marriage and Matt confessed feelings I never really knew existed (certainly not to the depth he explained, anyway). Within a month, we reconnected on a level that seemed to flow so naturally and organically but at a rather rapid pace. With us both now approaching our 40s, we began to realize, it was now or never for us. We finally made plans to meet.

I was able to convince him to come to New York City – something I would’ve never thought could or would happen. We decided he would stay in a hotel nearby but come to my apartment for dinner.

My heart raced as I nearly burnt my hand and broke a glass, at my clumsy attempt to prepare a romantic dinner. The chicken was roasting, veggies steaming and a cold crisp salad awaiting to be dressed in the ‘fridge. He would be here any minute. I set the table with a bright, white linen tablecloth, lit two white tapered candles and opened the wine to let it breathe a bit. And there it was – the knock on my door.

“Who is it?!” I asked. I knew exactly who it was.

“It’s Matt.” He replied with an all too familiar chuckle at the end.

I opened the door and there he was. All 6'4" of him. I felt like I was face to face with an apparition. I stood there with a nervous smile on my face and stared at him for just a moment. I knew I would want to remember every detail. He certainly aged, but in all the best ways. His chestnut brown hair was now long and neatly pulled back which complemented his closely trimmed beard. His genuine smile pulled me in immediately and I was lost in his soulful brown eyes. He wore a long, black and collared button-down shirt with blue jeans. He was perfect.

He took one step forward toward the threshold and I flew into his already outstretched arms and settled into a deep embrace. We stayed like this for far longer than what should have felt comfortable for two people who had never met in person before. But then again, we weren’t strangers - we were home. I looked up at him, my 5’7” paling in comparison to his physique and we pulled away long enough for me to say, “Come on in.” Matt shut the door behind him.

He stepped into the middle of the living room, part of an open-layout apartment. I sat on the couch and lightly tapped the cushion next to mine.

“Come sit down.” I said.

“Okaayy.” He replied. I felt myself get flushed with nervousness and anticipation.

He gently caressed my cheek with his right hand and said, “It’s okay sweetie. Breathe.” And that was all I needed. He was always the person to inspire me yet instill the calm I needed deep within my soul.

I reached up to his hand and put mine on top of his, slightly giggled and said, “You know me so well.” We went on to discuss his flight and hotel room and soon the timer on my oven went off.

“Chicken’s done.” I said. So, we moved over to the dining room table and sat down where I offered him a glass of Merlot – a favorite we both shared. “Yes, please.” He replied with a grin that made my hands tremble a bit. We held our glasses up and toasted. “Finally!” We said in unison. I took a sip and he took a much longer one.

Our food remained barely touched on the plates as we talked and laughed for the next two hours. Talking was always the thing at which we excelled. At some point early into the conversation, I became very aware that he was holding my hand in his on the table. His grasp was tender yet firm. His gaze remained steady and the glimmer in his eyes constant.

He went to take the final sip of his wine and then he got up from his seat. He walked the two steps over to me, leaned down and put one hand on the nape of my neck, beneath my long hair.

“I love you, Vanessa.” He whispered. “ I always have.” He added.

“And I love you, Matt.” I longingly replied.

We kissed in a way that sealed a promise both of our hearts had made all those years ago. His hands were placed gently on either of my cheeks and my hand reached up to the back of his head. We were not letting each other go. Our eyes were closed and hearts opened as I tasted the hint of Merlot still lingering on his lips and gently swirling around on his tongue. We both knew in that moment, that this was our first date of many, many more to come.

The End.