Feeling alone in your 30's? 5 tips to navigate this new decade

Some would agree that conversations are filled with more substance in your thirties, but are they happening enough in this decade?

Children, work, renovations, family and partners give us little time to talk or focus on us until one day we can't shake the dark cloud, and start to question our direction, choices and even our purpose.

Fuelling this lack of clarity, are the moments when we do connect with others but find ourselves adapting the subject of our conversations based on the season that our friend or peers are in. Ultimately, we lose these opportunities to be heard or to simply bring our experiences and thoughts into the world.

Irrespective of whether friends can relate or provide the right advice, using your voice and tapping into your feelings can be enough, however, when we have expectations of our friends and peers to not only understand us - but our season as well, we end up losing that connectivity and that sense of community.

Finding ways to navigate these changes will stabilise friendships and hopefully strengthen them, enabling you to stay connected and know where the right support can be found.

Expect friendships to change

Expectations are everything. They can make or break our experiences. Friendship expectations have to change and adapt. Adulthood has starved us of the consistency of knowing everything about our friends, down to what they ate for breakfast. No longer can we expect the engagement and interest from all our friends in the same capacity as we did when we all had less responsibilities.

Whether you're a busy mother or working long office hours, treat each encounter with a friend with gratitude - don't compare it to the weekly catch ups you use to have. In the same breathe eliminate any guilt that might start to creep in and have empathy for others rather than feeling hard done by if a coffee date has to be rescheduled.

The friendships worth holding onto will ultimately be easy and wont make you question your behaviour or theirs. Remember that.

Make the effort to have one on one time with good friends. Don't replace this with group outings because you are time poor

The death of a group catch up. Thats right, they can be an introverts worst nightmare. We are generally more time poor in our thirties meaning the group outings become more frequent. Intimate conversations are thrown out the window.

The more introverted of the group won't feel obligated to share personal updates which really helps build that connection. The journeys your thirties can present you with - fertility, relationships, illness to name a few, will test you and and your strength and if we don't feel heard or supported at a deeper level and with no judgement we will find ourselves feeling really alone.

If you really cherish a friendship, book a one on one. Give your friendships the opportunity to grow and flourish by exposing how one is really feeling or handling life. Listen, ask and give - this will bring you energy.

Be aware of advice from those who haven't put in the time or energy to understand your desires or particular season

All too often we can find our decisions being judged from the lense of a personal circumstance or a season that is different to our own. Being aware of this, from both sides, is so important as it can lead us down a path that isn't our own or it can affect that friendship in an irreparable way.

Take note of your friends language, their situation, the possibility that they are creating a narrative to align with yours, rather than showing their true self. Build trust with your friends and examine their behaviour to help identify the advice they might need or perhaps how you could relate to their situation.

Decisions become more important and time sensitive in your thirties - hello biological clock! Its so important that these decisions are solely a personal desire and not guided by others expectations. If interactions dont feel aligned or genuine - find those that do.

Provide to others what you would like in return

A simple but effective mindset to have. The law of attraction will gift you with the energy you are putting out. Be open to the fact it may come back to you when you least expect it. It is not linear - the world will decide in what vessel it will be presented. Trust the process and always focus on your authenticity in very human interaction.