Fascinating silent science

Silence is the absence of intentional sound or purposeful silence-for many people, this is quite disturbing, especially for Westerners. A study by the University of Groningen in the Netherlands found that Americans only need four seconds of silence in a conversation to feel more upset, rejected or insecure. Contrast this with another study, which found that Japanese people are happy to sit still with others for 8.2 seconds. Considering the Japanese proverb "The silent person is the best" and the Japanese concept of haragei (literally "abdominal sensitivity"), their tolerance may not be surprising, indicating that the most effective way of communication is actually not talking.

The reason for this cultural difference in tolerance may be attributed to the fact that the United States is a heterogeneous society, while Japan is more homogeneous. Donal Carbaugh, a professor of communications at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, said in an interview with the BBC: “When you have a heterogeneous complex of differences, unless you speak, it’s difficult to establish a common understanding, and it’s understandable unless people Oral commitment to building a common life.” In contrast, he said, “When there is more homogeneity, some kind of silence may be more likely to occur. For example, among your closest friends and family, and It’s easier for people you don’t know to sit quietly together."

No matter where people live in the world, other researchers have pointed to a generally worrying trend: increased fear of silence, or what some call sedation phobia.

Researchers point to a generally worrying trend: fear of silence, or what some people call sedation phobia.

Sedatephobia is said to be derived from the Greek word Sedate, which means "silence, sleep, or death", while Phobos means "disgust, fear, or morbid fear." Call it whatever you want, and until recently, this phobia has been relatively unheard of.

A study by Bruce Fell, a professor at Charles Sturt University in Australia, shows that with the advent of digital technology and social media, more and more people not only cannot tolerate silence, but are also afraid of silence, in some cases even It can cause panic attacks or severe anxiety.

"When there is no noise in my room, I am afraid," said one of the 580 undergraduates he interviewed. "No noise [makes] me uncomfortable, in fact [seems] ominous," another said. "I actually started this homework in the library and had to go back to my room to pick up my iPod in a few minutes, because I found the library was too quiet and I couldn't concentrate!"

This research was conducted in 2013. In the next ten years, this trend will only intensify, especially with the ubiquity of smart devices and streaming media. Like Pavlov’s dog, it’s almost impossible to keep things from beeping, speaking, or signaling at us, making us salivate. The media has become the background of our existence; background noise is the ultimate remedy for anxiety in our lives; news anchors, podcasts and so-called "influencers" are our best friends in order to feel less alone in the world. Ironically, all these connections increase our sense of isolation and loneliness.

Silent Science-Why is it embarrassing, why is it healthy

Humans have an evolutionary desire to connect and accept; our core is social people. Therefore, when someone does not respond to us as quickly as we hoped, silence can easily be interpreted as rejection.

A study in Chinese Experimental Social Psychology found that fluent dialogue is related to feelings of belonging, self-esteem, and socially verified feelings. If even a brief silence disrupts this flow, negative emotions and feelings of rejection will emerge.

Long ago, rejection by our social group or tribe meant that there was a risk of survival. But even today, the instinct still exists.

In addition, uncertainty lurks in the quiet space between spoken words. Humans usually don't embrace uncertainty with open arms. We don’t know, we can’t control it. What we cannot control, we need an uncertain life, which also makes us feel insecure and insecure. In the silence that envelopes the conversation, we can easily predict what will be said next and how we or the person we are talking to will respond; we often imagine what will happen to the relationship if the response is unwelcome by either party— -All of these will exacerbate anxiety.

However, the discomfort caused by silence is not limited to our interactions with others. Even if we are alone, silence can be a bad omen. Silence forces us to pay attention to our automatic thoughts-thoughts that we can't help thinking and habitually thinking, especially those that radiate our fear and insecurity.

Silence forces us to pay attention to our automatic thoughts-thoughts that we can't help thinking and habitually thinking, especially those that radiate our fear and insecurity.

Unstructured moments of silence can also make people aware of themselves and the aspects of life that are overwhelmed by the structure of noise. Silence often makes us aware of the truth-the truth we may not want to admit.

However, if we consider these truths to be absolute—just as absolutely bad, we will do a lot of harm to ourselves. Amazing, inspiring, life-giving truths can also be found in silence.

And this is just the beginning of the benefits of silence.

The benefits of silence for our happiness

Increase concentration. When the sound reaches around 80 decibels, we almost always lose attention. A quiet environment or an environment with a little background noise helps maximize concentration.

Stimulate creativity. Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and James Clark Maxwell are arguably the three greatest innovators in history, and they work almost completely alone in silence. Research by social psychologist and Flow author Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi found that outstanding creators are more likely to be introverts; introverts are known for their preference for quiet surroundings. Similarly, Susan Kane, author of "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," writes that research strongly shows that people are more creative when they enjoy privacy and freedom from being disturbed.

Improve self-awareness. When we rest quietly, especially when we close our eyes, the internal or default mode network in the brain is activated. The default network is one of the two brain networks (the other is the external mode), which is activated when people reflect on things that involve themselves and their emotions. In the default mode, the brain integrates consciousness and subconsciousness to help build new muscle memory, digest new concepts, and absorb new insights. Silence also assists the awareness of receptivity, which is the physical sensations we perceive, such as heartbeat, breathing, satiety, and the ability to engage in emotional autonomic activities.

Improve learning and productivity. Studies have shown that the more noise children are exposed to, the worse their performance at school and the more difficult it is for them to concentrate at work. In contrast, a study published by the National Library of Medicine found that two hours of silence a day can generate new cells in the hippocampus, an area of ​​the brain related to learning, memory, and emotional regulation. Other studies have confirmed this, adding that silence can promote the growth of these cells more than music or white noise.

Decompression and provide a sense of calm. According to data from the American Institute of Stress, about 77% of people are under pressure that affects their physical health, and 73% of people are under pressure that affects their mental health. That is to say, based on changes in blood pressure and blood circulation in the brain, two minutes of silence have been proven to relieve the tension of the body and relax the mind, rather than listening to so-called relaxation music. It was also found that silence can significantly improve the emotional state and change the perception of time and the orientation of the current moment.

Increase patience. As I mentioned, occupying the silent space between words requires a certain degree of uncertainty. We often think of patience as waiting for our time or paying our dues, which usually leads to some martyrs complex. A healthier way to think about patience is that it allows us to endure this uncertainty with foresight and moderation by protecting our internal resources, thereby keeping our hearts and minds open. According to a 2007 study by Fuller Theological Seminary Professor Sarah Schnittke and UC Davis professor of psychology Robert Emmons, patient people tend to experience less depression and negative emotions, and more Cooperative, more understanding, fairer and more tolerant.

Enrich and restore relationships. Silence in interpersonal relationships—like providing space for acceptance, listening, listening, insight, and intimacy—can be a very effective way to deepen our relationships and resolve interpersonal conflicts. This is very different from giving someone a "silent treatment", and research shows that this is highly destructive to interpersonal relationships.

Has a direct and positive effect on the body. Silence can lower blood pressure, prevent the formation of arterial plaque, strengthen the body's immune system, and promote good hormone regulation and the interaction of the body's hormone-related systems.

Enjoy silent practice

The fear of silence is a learned behavior, as the aforementioned research on the attitude of the United States and Japan towards silence has shown. If this fear can be learned, then it can also be unlearned. Even the human instinct to fill space with words in dialogue can be overcome with practice.

The best way to start savoring silence is to consider your own relationship with silence. Consider if there is any insecurity that makes you feel uncomfortable with silence. This happens when you are alone or talking-or both? Is it all conversations, those you don’t know well, or those you know better? Does it happen in large or small gatherings, or in certain environments? Does one person’s tone affect you more than others? Is there a fear that keeps emerging when you are alone? Find patterns and make connections.

Other practices include:

Keep silent with others

Remind yourself that in all conversations, silence is purposeful. Maybe it makes the conversation more interesting because there is time to respond better; or to give others space to respond in a wise, truthful, and non-confrontational way; or to build an intimate relationship, which helps you and another person build connection.

Chatter will not save the conversation, but silence is fine. The instinct to fill in the gaps or calmness in the conversation, especially unpleasant, is natural, but not always helpful. Try to count-to yourself. "One Mississippi, two Mississippi..." Usually when you get to five o'clock, the other person will speak-if they don't speak, keep talking. Counting gives you something to do while enduring any bubbling frustration.

Learn how to get rid of silence. If the silence (and count) reaches about 45 seconds, try to say: "What I said seems to bother you or make you uncomfortable. After you think about it for a while, should we return to this issue?" Then Ready to try another counting session. Normally, this prompt will cause some kind of reaction.

Practice waiting 2-3 seconds to respond after someone stops talking. Doing so will send a message that you are actually listening to what the other person is saying, rather than waiting for your time before it is your turn to speak. When you talk less and give them space, people usually talk more. This silence will also help others to transcend any subconscious emotional response and enter their rational thinking.

Avoid filling in sounds. Words are not the only way to fill the silence. "Um..." "Um..." "Um..." "Uh..." only increases embarrassment or anxiety. If you find yourself feeling frustrated, try to practice grounding exercises or breathing techniques. This will help you stay calm and maintain a "window of tolerance".

To keep silent with myself

Mindfulness and mediation. There are many articles about this. If you do nothing, spend one to four minutes a day sitting quietly and perceiving your surroundings-just like your senses. If it helps, please set a timer.

Rethink "downtime". When you have some extra time, think about participating in "productive silence", not just what tasks and to-dos will make you productive.

Get noise-canceling headphones and give up the music. You may just learn something new from the growth of nerve cells.

the most important is……

Stop yourself from seeing silence as a sign of failure or problem. Silence is just an opportunity to pause, reflect and collect ideas; or observe, absorb, digest and process. Use silence to make yourself and others more comfortable, rather than becoming anxious and alienated.

"Silence is a powerful source," Lao Tzu said. But it is undeniable that building muscles requires some effort. Let me add that the embarrassment is not the silence itself. It is our response to silence that makes it feel this way.

Learning how to embrace silence, rather than fight against it, can greatly increase strength, not to mention its positive impact on our well-being.

Sensory information from the outside world may take 500 milliseconds or half a second to blend into our conscious experience, but usually, and for good reason, sitting still for a long time can bring a more meaningful connection and an overall healthy life experience.