Essential Reasons Why a Seemingly Perfect Relationship Can Be Destroyed

What destroys a couple's relationship that may seem harmonious, what can cause the gradual or spontaneous separation of a couple's partners? It can be about common problems in the relationship - caused by both partners, or a specific problem of one of them.

No matter how solid a relationship may seem, it is good to know that it is still extremely fragile and constantly requires compromises and adaptation between members of the couple.

So what destroys a couple's relationship? First and foremost, the lack of communication! Sometimes partners do not know, are not willing or unable to communicate properly and openly with each other - either out of relational incapacity and self-closure, or out of indifference to each other, or because they do not view communication as important.

Some people expect their partners to know and understand their expectations and needs. But how is it possible to understand your partner, if he does not speak, does not tell you openly when he feels something? A common reply is, "You had to figure it out yourself!" But how?

All expectations for the future, but also the immediate needs must be shared with the partner because it is irrational to expect him to know and understand them due to empathy or intuition: he may realize that something is wrong, but he is not telepathic, to know what is wrong!

Thus, any need or problem must be communicated to the partner - do not expect him to understand himself and do not tell you: "I solve it myself (a)", because it leads to a gradual distance between you.

What else destroys a relationship? Lack of privacy - which is often also caused by lack of communication. It is not about sexual intimacy, but about emotional intimacy, to know your partner in-depth, to know his dreams, hopes, fears, emotions.

Everyone wants to feel close to their partner, to know who he/she is, behind the social masks. But if the partner is not willing to open up, if he is closed in on himself and does not share his emotions, then the emotional distance can lead in time to the final separation.

What destroys a relationship completely, if not emotional indifference? It is more than the lack of intimacy, it is also the lack of manifestation of affection towards the partner, the lack of affectivity and appreciation. Anyone who wants to receive gestures and loving words from a loved one, it is in human nature to need warmth, closeness, and appreciation.

But there are individuals so closed in on themselves, indifferent to others, and self-centered, that they do not realize these needs of their partner, ignoring them. This is because, usually due to various past relationship problems, he is unable to openly express his affection and emotions - either due to fear of rejection or due to emotional indifference as a personality trait. So, how long can you sit next to a person who doesn't say "I love you", doesn't stay close to you, doesn't make the usual gestures of affection?

What destroys a relationship over time? Drastic mismatch of characters - personality traits, preferences, and needs. For example, if both partners are overly proud and proud, they can often get into various conflicts that cannot be resolved because each one strongly and proudly supports his or her point of view and no one "leaves him alone."

Likewise, if, for example, one partner is extroverted, very sociable, while the other is introverted and closed-minded, it also brings with it drastically different preferences regarding the couple's activities. If one of the partners is focused on family values ​​and building a family, while the other is focused on professional values ​​and career development, again inevitable and frequent conflicts will occur.

These conflicts caused by the mismatch of character can be diminished or even annihilated only if both partners are willing to compromise, if they accept the other with his personality and preferences and if they are willing to shape their personality to harmonize with that of partner. If both are resistant to change and unwilling to adapt to each other and harmonize their values, opinions, ideas, and practical preferences with each other, over time, the relationship becomes a difficult - if not impossible - solution.

What destroys a relationship either practically and concretely, or in terms of effectivity and communication? Aggression - either passive or active of one of the partners.

In some couples, one partner (usually the man) creates an addictive relationship, destroying the other's self-esteem and ability to make decisions for themselves. He proceeds to subtly insult the other, to hurt him, and to destroy his self-image, until he becomes addicted and begins to strongly believe that he is not good for anything, that he deserves the treatment received, that if he separates from his partner, he will not be able to find another one because it is not good enough.

Many women stay with men who abuse them - mentally, through insulting words that convince them that they are not good or physically, which leads to the same conviction - because they are convinced that they can not find something better, than what they receive is worth it. (a "correction"!) and because I desperately find different justifications for my partner.

But aggression cannot be endured for too long: after a period of a few years, even the most addicted woman will decide to separate, to get rid of the abusive treatment. And from here, things get trickier, and this is where the true meaning of life lies. So, if you see that you have gotten caught up in an addictive relationship, and your partner is aggressive and destroys your morale, get rid of it as fast as you can!

What else destroys a relationship? An unsatisfactory sex life! Although there are some more important aspects - communication, respect, adaptation, habit, character matching - and poor sex life can lead to the end of the relationship. Because sexual intimacy and meeting normal needs are very important, contributing to the emotional intimacy between partners. What can an unsatisfactory sex life mean?

Either a too low frequency of sexual intercourse for one of the partners, or the lack of diversity - a banal sexual act, too short, devoid of novelty and change, or sexual aggression - a sexual act too brutal for one of the partners.

But the answer to the question "what destroys a relationship?" can be outside the couple's relationship, an external cause, a problem of one of the partners unrelated to the other. And the most common such problem that leads to separation is addiction: alcohol, drugs, gambling.

Statistics show that male partners fall into the addiction trap more often, but women are not immune to this risk either. And when you have a relationship with a dependent partner, it is especially difficult for you to continue, especially if he does not admit that he has a problem and does not accept treatment. This is because addiction changes the whole character of a person, which after a long enough period, becomes unrecognizable.

The obsession seizes him and he no longer pays attention to the relationship or other aspects of his life. Moreover, alcohol and some drugs also promote certain aggressive behaviors.

In some cases, if a problem is detected in the couple in time - whether it is a lack of communication, affectivity, intimacy, character matching, or dependence - and if the problem is accepted and both partners are willing to work for their relationship, it can be saved.

But many times, these problems show that one of the partners is not willing to change, to give importance to the relationship and the partner, and to make compromises, he does not even realize that there is a problem. And without compromise and adaptation, any relationship is doomed.