E =

I am the sum of many parts.

My mother’s creative nature, my grandmothers’ strength and resilience, my godmother’s agility and my educators support and guidance. Whether chosen or familial, the influence of so many women and their experiences have shaped me into the woman that I am today. I am a beautifully homogenized version of them and for that I am eternally grateful.

For most of my life I did not live in a home with my biological mother. Her life experiences led to her battling addiction very early in my childhood and as a result I was often left alone and eventually bounced around living with different family members. During the times we were together I got to witness her innate creativity. She was always renovating our living space or making DIY gifts for family and friends. I remember staying up late during the holidays watching her hand craft gifts and allowing me to help her with the “easy stuff”. She always encouraged my creativity. That was our bonding time. From my “amazing” “couture” fashion designs at the ripe age of 4, to random splatter paintings, we did it all. Though those times were short-lived, they sparked a flame that has been burning inside of me all these years.

One of the positive aspects of growing up as a millennial latchkey kid is becoming insanely self-sufficient. Let’s call it an accidental Montessori education. I had to learn how to manage education, eating and keeping household secrets all before the age of 5. Luckily, my kindergarten teacher noticed something was wrong at home and stepped in to help.

With my mother’s permission she took me under her wing. She spent not only classroom time but sacrificed her weekends as well, mentoring and building a strong foundation of confidence and pride within me. She had children of her own, but she still found time to include myself and other children in their lives just like we were a part of the family. She constantly reminded me that I was destined to be great and that there was no obstacle that I could not overcome. She saw potential in me early on and did everything in her power to make sure that I saw it too.

Throughout my educational career she was constantly guiding my path and ensuring that I was challenged to excel in every aspect. Because of her I believe that I can achieve anything and that no dream is too big. It is a daily reminder that the impossible only means that it hasn’t been done yet, not that it can’t be done.

My familial bonus moms taught me many things but the most valuable virtues they instilled were self-love, individuality and integrity. While most typical mother figures preach the happily ever after life, my moms did just the opposite. From a very early age they taught me to accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish before I even thought about starting a family. All of them had children by the time they were 21 and they knew they didn’t want the same for me. For them, I represented a chance for them to see dreams being fulfilled without the interference of a husband or children causing my priorities to change.

They made sure that I knew that being me was the best superpower I could have. Always accepting whichever version of myself I presented. Through my interesting fashion choices, hobbies and even music they never made me feel like being different was a bad thing. Different was good because that meant I was being unapologetically me. I was constantly affirmed and reassured that if I was authentic and acted with integrity, the people that mattered would see me for me. Even now, when I feel like I’m too different or people don’t understand me, their words remind me that I am exactly who I am supposed to be and that is more than enough.

My last honorary mother is my high school mentor, advisor, pillar. Like my other moms, she believed in me more than I believed in myself. There were several times where I didn’t think I was good enough, smart enough, or qualified enough but she pushed me to pursue my goals no matter what. My senior year of high school I was signed up to compete on a national level in my field of interest. For months I practiced. I was sure that I was ready, or so I thought. The last day of practice she asked me if I felt comfortable performing one of the tasks on a live subject. I froze. I was 100% confident performing the task when it was theoretical, but in real life? Was I ready for that? She simply said, “I trust you enough to do it, so why don’t you trust yourself?”. That one line has been embedded in my brain from that moment on. If someone else believed in me wholeheartedly, why didn’t I believe in myself the same way?

I often questioned why my own mother didn’t value me enough to change; why I didn’t matter enough to her. I now know it’s more complex than that and that she is also a sum of her parts. Her life choices gifted me with a tribe of powerful women that entered my life and filled a void I never really knew I had. They saw how my mother’s actions could potentially impact my life and made sure that I had every opportunity to stay on the right path.

So many moments and experiences have transformed me, shaped me and molded me into the human that I am today. A black woman in STEM, a multi-hyphenate creative and a budding entrepreneur. Without the influence of these women, I’m not sure if I could have dreamed big enough to accomplish these goals. Every day is another chance to surpass every goal I set for myself and to continue to live out my wildest dreams. Here I am, because of them; the sum of many parts.