Dying for Sex Series- Our Last Days

There is a series on Hulu, Dying for Sex, based on two best friends that go through the one friend, Molly's, experience with stage 4 cancer diagnosis. Nikki and Molly first started up a podcast 'Dying for Sex' to document the changes in Molly since her diagnosis; her outlook on life, her marriage, how she wanted to spend her days until the inevitable happened. The podcast did so well, Hulu picked it up as a series years later. Molly also wrote a book 'Screw Cancer Becoming Whole' during this time and there's also another book 'Dying for Sex Molly Kochan's Journey'.

The podcast has 6 episodes, of which I only heard 5 because the last one you had to be a paid Wondery member. My initial thought when watching the series on Hulu was why didn't they show them on their podcast? I feel it's a pertinent part of their story but along with this, they series for me was not very good. It wasn't realistic and obviously didn't show actual real life events as they occurred, like the podcast. I also heard on the podcast that there was a point when Molly was sick of one night stands and it became unfulfilling at one point which I don't remember seeing in the series. The hospital scenes also we all know didn't happen. They don't allow music and parties and I know they don't allow SEX inside the hospital room while the nurse comes in and tweaks something, ignoring sexual act. I wish the series was a more realistic depiction of the actual story because, for me, it ruins it altogether.

I did love the friendship between Nikki and Molly and I cried at points because someone dying will do that to you but even Nikki leaving her boyfriend, being fired from her job didn't make sense? How did she pay bills all that time?

Molly starts the series in therapy with her husband having already gone through one cancer treatment in her life and receives a phone call that she's been diagnosed once again but this time with stage 4 cancer. This realization somehow makes her very h*rny and all she wants to do is have sex with her husband. Naturally, her husband is freaked out and worried about his wife and isn't in the mood for that. I wish they would've dived into the 15 year marriage and the dynamic between them. It was a weird transition to see her cut him loose just to have one night stands with strangers?

The reason Molly leaves her husband to have sexual exploration before she dies, is because the whole 'live like it's your last day' feeling. People always say 'life is short' 'bucket list' 'carpe diem' 'live everyday like it's your last' but in reality, none of these sayings are realistic UNLESS you actually have a short time to live. Let's be honest, no one can live in a reality that isn't real. Life is complicated, routine, busy, kids, work, debt etc. We have to actually deal with all of these things that can get complicated and we do not have the liberty to live like it's our last, unless of course it is.

Our brains know it's not our 'last days' and we're wired for survival, stability and long term planning. Our instincts prioritize conserving energy and making choices to ensure we function tomorrow, next week and even years from now. Social and practical responsibilities; jobs, families, routine keep us from being irresponsible knowing there will be repercussions to deal with. The emotional intensity of over thinking and treating everyone and everything like it's your last is overwhelming and exhausting. We would burn out with final farewells and final experiences. The struggle between the brain and the instinct to know it's not your last day takes a toll on how you feel, it's a complete struggle. If everyday were treated like the last, then none of them would be special. The idea loses meaning over time. It's the rarity of the last day that gives it its gravity.

It is an interesting concept but one you can only do if it's the actual reality. If it's not, as people we need our routine and for everyday to be as light as possible without the weight of seriousness that comes with 'your last days' mentality.

Have you ever had a scare in life and tried living like it was your last?

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