Dreams.

Dreams.

Pastel pink clouds faded in the golden sky as the sun set on city lines. If one was out, enjoying the hug of a spring breeze and the smell of food from a variety of restaurants ready to satisfy any craving, then it could possibly be described as the perfect end to the day.

Victoria would have no such day. At best, she could enjoy the sunset through the hospital window in her room. Her dinner would be an under-seasoned turkey breast, dinner roll and a carton of milk no different from what children receive in grade school.

Turning her head away from the sunset, she proceeded to write into her little black notebook about cotton clouds floating over a private beach with cool sand that didn’t burn your feet. She wanted to make the visual as best as possible before she went to bed.

“Good afternoon Victoria,” spoke the voice of her doctor. “Are we writing lovely stories again?”

Dr. Kelz was a middle aged mad, whose gray hairs were noticeable if you engaged in conversation long enough to start to see them peep out at the roots. In their many talks during the past year, Victoria would occasionally zone out and look for more. She’d wondered how much notice others would take if he tried to color them away.

Victoria did not answer immediately and chose to keep writing. The last time the little black notebook and the dreams got brought up, it only led to a psych evaluation and a pained mother crying over a daughter thrown over the edge by a disease.

“Yes, writing a little bit before bed,” she finally said while he looked at her vitals.

“Before bed! Goodness missy, it’s only just pass six o’clock. The night attending said they’ve never even seen you awake.” He said it in a light hearted manner but Victoria could read what he was saying.

You’re oversleeping again. We’ve already discussed this.

Victoria pursed her lips and avoided her eyes from Dr. Kelz’s gaze.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “It’s just been hard to find something to do other than sleep.” She silently prayed there wouldn’t be another visit from the hospital psychiatric.

“I can sympathize with your situation,” the doctor started, “but sleeping as much as you do is not healthy. Not for your body or your mind. Please trying staying awake more each day.”

“Okay doctor, I’ll try.” Victoria blinked tears away. What more could she do in the confines of this damn bed? She certainly couldn’t help her mother pay the increasing hospital fees.

The desire to sleep got worse after she overheard a sobbing to her aunt about how the insurance couldn’t cover much else and she was going to have to take a twenty thousand dollar loan to cover up the bills for the rest of the year.

She laid her head down on her pillow and wiped her eyes. Even after being warned by Dr. Kelz Victoria couldn’t bring herself to stay up anymore. She closed her eyes and envisioned the warming sensation of the sun on her face. The sound of waves crashing into land.

When Victoria opened her eyes, she saw a blue sky. Her body laid upon soft sand. Letting her head fall back, eyes fluttering shut, she breathed in salty air with a small smile. It was all what she had believed a beach in the Caribbean to be.

“Well look who’s just lounging around.”

Standing above her was a lean man with brown hair. He had honey eyes and a playful smirk. Victoria broke out into a full smile.

“I was only just waiting for you. I hope you didn’t expect me to dive into the ocean alone, Nico,” she countered.

Nico smiled back in full. “I would never leave you to be alone unless you wanted me to.” He extended his hand to Victoria and helped her up.

Nico had always been there in Victoria’s dreams since she could remembering controlling them. At first it was small. He would be in the background in cafés sipping coffee or at parks feeding birds. She assumed is was her subconscious making him and others reappear to ease having to make up new people.

It didn’t become obvious until she was in China, walking on the Great Wall and there he was a few meters ahead, admiring the vast mountains and wildness. That was when it had become evident that she had never seen a single individual in her dreams appear so often.

With booming confidence, Victoria stormed up to him which cause him to snap his head in her direction.

“Go away,” she said calmly as she waved her hand in front of him.

After a moment, Victoria’s face turned turned to one of shock when he realized he wasn’t vanishing. It escalated to embarrassment when he started laughing at her.

“Does that usually work?” Nico asked a red faced Victoria.

That was how the whole relationship started. First it was annoyance. Settings would change, adventures would happen but he always found his way back to her. Frustrated arguments sparked over how he could go against the control of her own dreams. Eventually, with the loneliness of her sad reality, she grew used to him being around. After more time, tolerance eased into friendship. Not much long after that, love flourished between the dreamer and the dream boy.

Once up, the couple walked to the shoreline and dove into the water. There was no need to hold their breaths or worry about the sting of salt water in their eyes. They could see crystal clear and could dive as deep as they wanted. Dolphins swam next to them. Schools of yellow and blue fish looped in masses. A great white shark slowly moved next to Victoria.

In a documentary about the ocean, she remembered that some great whites could be bigger than six meters. It was hard to imagine that.

Nico grabbed Victoria’s hand and signal for them to swim up. Even though they been in the ocean for hours several meters deep, they sprung out right on the coast and walked right out.

“You’ll have to wake up soon,” Nico said.

A pang of pain bloomed in Victoria’s chest.

“It felt too fast this time,” she said.

As of reading her mind, Nico pulled Victoria into a hug and held her. He softly kissed her temple.

“Return to me soon,” he whispered in her ear.

Darkness came and before she opened her eyes, she could already hear the beeping of the heart monitor.

Later in the day, her mother came to visit. It was rough seeing her now that Victoria was made unintentionally aware of the money costing to be maintained in the hospital.

All she could see was the tired, tear swollen eyes of her mother who barely ate but always asked if she was being fed enough by the hospital. The guilt from the burden she had become was enough to wish her mother hated her instead of loving her.

After her mother left, she wrote more in her little black book. The dreams were the only real control Victoria had in her life.

In the later evening, Victoria stayed up to watch a movie set in the late 1800s Britain. She admired their beautiful dresses and replayed the ball scenes three times.

Once it finally ended, she turned off the lights and laid down thinking of marble floors and string quartets. She replayed images from the movie until her body felt heavy.

When the heaviness went away, she opened her eyes to the center of a massive ballroom. The glow from the candle-lit room highlighted the red curtains against ivory walls.She turned around to see a handsome man with combed back hair in a black tailcoat. The music started up.

As two souls in one, Nico put his hand on her waist and Victoria rested hers on his shoulder. They started their dance. Background couples joined like she saw in the movie. They twirled and dipped and swayed. Nico smiled. He never really questioned her dream choices. He always went with what she wanted and enjoyed himself.

The music went faster. Their feet no longer touching the ground, the young couple danced higher and higher.

When the music slowed, Victoria rested her head on Nico’s shoulder. She could smell his cologne that reminded her of pine from the woods. He let her hand brush through the softness of his hair.

A sob rang out over the music.

Nico grabbed onto Victoria tightly but said nothing as she sobbed into his neck. The music stopped and she felt her feet touch the ground.

“Victoria, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is real here! Why? Why can’t you be with me in the real world? Why am I dying in a hospital bed while my mom suffers to find twenty thousand dollars? Why can’t I at least be positive? Instead, I just wait to sleep and dream about these fake worlds with a fake fried I made.” Victoria cried for several minutes while Nico held her and stayed quiet. When she finally seemed to calm down, he spoke.

“V, I love you. Words can’t reach how happy I’ve been to be able to live out in the world you made. And I promise, I’ll going to help you. You’ll be okay. Everything will be okay,” he said. “You have to believe me that I can help you out there as much as in here.”

Victoria couldn’t see how that was possible but she did feel comforted. They spend the next couple of hours laying in a meadow watching stars. Soon enough, the darkness came back and they said their goodbyes. Nico gave her a kiss as full of reassurance as one could be.

Beep beep beep

That heart monitor became a good reminder of when she had woken up. A nurse and brought her breakfast. The day passed slow with some tv and notebook writing.

Then another nurse came in the room holding a box and gave it to her.

In the beginning, Victoria’s friend came plenty and brought gifts so sometimes but nearing a year now, they barely came or even called. It was a plain cardboard box with her name and room number on it that when she open showed a black leather suitcase.

She took it out and inspected the suitcase before opening it. Along the outside was a red ribbon with a card tied to it. She took it out to read.

I hope this proves to you that I am here. Sincerely, N

She opened the suitcase to see stacks of hundreds of dollars of bills. A gasp left her mouth and tears flooded her sight before she could come to full terms over what was bestowed to her.

She cried most of the day from happiness. She called her mom to tell her about a mysterious donation and they cried together on the phone. Her mother rushed other and they cried more.

After a day of mostly crying and discussing the next steps of her care with Dr. Kelz, Victoria felt drained.

With the doctors blessing, as it had been the best day Victoria has had in a year, he let her go to sleep without comment.

Later that night, as Victoria dreamed, the night attending came in to check on her. He hardly expected her to be up after an exciting day she can, even though he hoped. Pulling up a chair to sit next to her, he grabbed the little black notebook she kept on her nightstand to read about her day.

Opening it, the card that came from the suitcase fell out. The attending picked it up, read the card, and smirked. He put the card back in the book and put the book back on the dresser.

He stood up and combed through his brown hair. He gave Victoria a last glance before leaving to check on other patients. He hoped one day they would formally meet in person.