Dr. Venus Nicolino: Social Media Is a Dangerous Place, Especially for Women

If you let a day go by without checking your Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook, you’re a rare bird indeed. Social media is a central part of daily life for millions of people, giving them a chance to connect, entertain, and voice opinions. But beneath the surface of likes and selfies lies a darker reality, one where the anonymity of the internet allows people to unleash their worst impulses. This toxic undercurrent is particularly perilous for women, warns Dr. Venus Nicolino.

From becoming the target of vitriol, harassment, and abuse to having their insecurities amplified and self-worth reduced, Nicolino says that social media can offer a heavy dose of trouble for women.

Even when comments don’t rise to the level of bullying, they can open the door to their deepest fears and concerns. “It can ignite any insecurity you have, it just sets it right on fire,” said Dr. Venus Nicolino on the “Brandi Glanville Unfiltered” podcast.

She said that’s the case even though things people say online are often only “a projection about how they feel about themselves.” Regardless of what’s behind the meanness, too much exposure can lead to an onslaught of negative emotions.

“If you’re a woman on social media, it is an incredibly dangerous place that can ignite all of your fears and insecurities. And it can, at times, even color how you feel about yourself. People are very mean,” Dr. Venus Nicolino noted on the podcast. “It’s a place where people can be the sexist, racist a--holes they just don’t have the guts to be in their real life.”

Social Media Can Lead to Body Image Issues for Women

Dr. Venus Nicolino, a Los Angeles-based bestselling author who holds a master’s in counseling psychology and a master’s and Ph.D. in clinical psychology, is far from alone in her professional assessment of social media. Research has shown the potential negative impact of too much social media.

For example, a recent study from the European Parliament found that among women and girls, image-based social media is associated with increased anxiety about body image and eating habits. The study also found that girls and women are “significantly more likely” to experience sexual and gender-based abuse on social media. That includes receiving unsolicited images or having their own images shared.

And it’s not getting better over time. The amount of misogynistic content on popular internet sites has grown in recent years, according to research reported by CNN. Much of this type of content started in what’s referred to as the “manosphere,” social media sites on the internet that allow men to share their grievances and even hatred of women. That type of content is starting to show up more frequently on mainstream social media sites.

Even with no direct bullying or harassment, exposure to videos and photos on social media can contribute to women feeling body dissatisfaction. It can even lead to eating disorders and serious mental health issues, according to Harvard University’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health.

Turning Contempt on the People Who Truly Deserve It

One of the most significant factors contributing to the hostile environment on social media is the cloak of anonymity. Behind a screen, people feel emboldened to say things they would never dare say to someone in person. The absence of face-to-face interaction strips away the social norms that typically govern behavior, allowing contempt and cruelty to flourish unchecked.

Dr. Venus Nicolino focused on this issue of contempt in a video on her popular TikTok channel. She spoke about contempt in the context of a divided country. But it can also apply to the contempt some hold for others in how they treat them on social media.

She defined contempt as “the act of despising,” the feeling of disdain. “You know what it’s going to take to calm things down around here? More contempt, not less,” Nicolino declared. “We’ve got to dig deep and develop contempt for divisive forces that are making us loathe one another.”

In the podcast interview with Glanville, the two also discussed how women can sometimes harass other women online. Dr. Venus Nicolino said no matter the person’s gender, those who use social media to say something cruel to or about someone else are revealing a lot about themselves.

“It says something about who you are that you will run to your computer or run to your phone and say something hateful and mean,” Nicolino noted. “It’s a bizarre space.”

She added that some people effectively shrug and say they don’t care about what people say online. But she said that’s not always the best way to approach how social media makes them feel, especially if it doesn’t involve bullying but rather criticism that a woman might receive

“It can be a very sad place to be. I don't necessarily think it’s a bad thing to care,” Dr. Venus Nicolino said. “I think it shows a level of humanity and a level of health to care about what is being said. You’ll let things in, and let them penetrate, and know what to throw away.”